He beat the bad bad but he doesn’t feel in a good mood about calling it the Chinese Flu. “Yes, I’m Asian. And yes, I have coronavirus, but I did not get it in China,” he says. “I got it in America—in New York City.”
Maybe it should be called the Lou Reed flu.
Read more at newser.com.
If you want to take your mind off of the you know what, let’s go on a trip to the 90’s. Weird snacks that you gobbled down without gaining weight.
Thanks Bill Clinton, Thanks Michael Jordan.
Read more at buzzfeed.com.
GameStop has informed its stores that they consider the biz an essential company and to keep operations running. This is important, we need these kids learning to buuld on Fortnite and how to shoot in Call of Duty so we’re ready for the apocalypse!
Read more at vice.com.
Four senators have been exposed for dumping stock after they were briefed on the Coronavirus, before the market crash. Look, Senators need to hoard toilet paper too.
Read more at dailymail.co.uk.
Michael Dell, founder and CEO of Dell Computers, saw the spring break video that’s been making the rounds and Tweeted this in response:
“Anyone in this video, please don’t apply to work @DellTech @VMware,” Dell tweeted Thursday. “And also please don’t apply to @Secureworks @DellFdn @boomi or MSD Capital.”
This also applies to anyone who worked on Spring Breakers the movie. Or at least it should.
Read more at cnbc.com.
An Italian man who was outside during the lockdown was stopped by police and he told them he was outside to play Pokemon Go and that “he had to hunt the Pokemon”. He’s already caught Corana-Chu and is looking to evolve it into Coro-Zard.
Read more at newsweek.com.
Thank you Covid for making everyone’s commute lightning fast.
— ABC7 Eyewitness News (@ABC7) March 20, 2020
Everyone thinks he was doing something nice but with all the free time he’s trying to learn some of the skills he missed over the years.
Read more at tmz.com.
Now that Brady is in Tampa. Jameis Winston needs a new home. Rumor is the Redskins may be interested in him to back up Dwayne Haskins. They said they’re in the market for someone who can throw as many pick-six’s as touchdowns in a game and all this is adding up nicely.
Read more at nbcsports.com.
OJ has a message for the world about the importance of gold courses. Might as well make OJ our new Surgeon General.
Keep them open. A lot of people need them. pic.twitter.com/IFzYAc7NqL
— O.J. Simpson (@TheRealOJ32) March 18, 2020
Another week and we’ll be getting 3 new parody albums from her.
Oh Jeff Goldblum impression . No matter how many times we hear you, we still fall in love.
Can you make one good movie?
Jeff Goldblum getting back to Gal Gadot pic.twitter.com/lBHIURuy77
— Gianmarco Soresi (@GianmarcoSoresi) March 19, 2020
It’s one thing to be a national treasure. They are a dime a dozen. Tony Hopkins is an international treasure.
Fill in your own fava beans and nice Chianti joke.
Niblo is making sure I stay healthy and demands I entertain him in exchange… cats 🤷🏼♂️ pic.twitter.com/5HgrdS2P9t
— Anthony Hopkins (@AnthonyHopkins) March 18, 2020
This is a fun game. How many head bangs would it take you to put an end to this?
The quarantine is turning us all into monsters.