Friday April 17: Daily Links

Published by Interrobang Staff at April 17, 2020

FRIDAY 4.17

NEWS STORIES

Barry Diller Sez Bail out Everyone!

Barry Diller thinks we should bail out everybody and then ‘worry about paying the bills later’

Didn’t I used to do coke with you?

Tenants Say Their Landlords Are Asking For Sex

People are saying while affected by the CoronaVirus and unable to pay their rent, some landlords are starting to ask for payment in other terms … like sex. How much sex is worth a moderate sized one bedroom in Manhattan?

This Is Every State’s Most Delivered Food Items

According to Uber Eats, this is every state most ordered food delivery item during the lockdown. What this tells all of us is the nations national food has to become the french fry. Ironic.

Virtual Schools In Virginia Shut Down Due To Porn and Fat Shaming

Officials for the Fairfax County Public Schools had to shut down their virtual schools after it was repeatedly slammed with porn, fat shaming comments directed at teaching and other inappropriate remarks. In other words, everything that is said in the back of a regular classroom.

SPORTS

2020 Minor League Baseball Not Happening

There will be no minor leagues this year, in all those sweet ballparks dotting America. Ducks and bears wahoos and mudcats will all sit out the season. They don’t have the money in the bank the way the Major League players do and this may hurt many of them getting into the big leagues.

Not to be negative but 2020 sucks.

Roy Halladay High On Speed When Plane Crashed

Baseball Hall of Famer Roy Halladay had high levels of amphetamines in his system and was doing extreme acrobatics when he lost control of his small plane in 2017.

The first part of that loop was amazing…

ENTERTAINMENT

Zoomers Discover Richard Dawson, Start Trashing Him

The Zoomers have found out that Richard Dawson used to kiss all the female contestants on the Feud and they’re outraged. Guess what, those ladies wanted a lot more than a kiss from Dawson, kids.

Harry And Meghan Spotted Delivering Food To The Needy In LA

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were spotted dropping off food to the needy in Los Angeles and TMZ got video of it. The British media will find a way to trash them though, don’t worry.

The Wonders Are Reuniting

After the passing of song writer Adam Schlesinger, the Wonders have decided to reunite. Let’s hope they open with their hit before going to any new stuff.

J Lo To Play The Godmother

Jennifer Lopez, still looking for an Oscar-worthy project, will produce and star in the upcoming crime drama, ‘The Godmother’. She’ll play Griselda Bianca, who was one of the world’s biggest drug lords and was a key figurehead in Miami’s Cocaine Cowboy Wars. No word yet on whether or not they will develop a Fredo-like character for A-Rod.

Fiona Apple Releases New Album Fetch The Bolt Cutters

In these tough times Fiona Apple decided to drop a new album some places are calling the record of the year.

Dr. Oz Has Great Appearance On Hannity (Add in Your Own Amount of Sarcasm)

Dr. OZ is eating shit for calling reopening schools “appetizing” because he’s obviously a fucking Covid vampire of some sort.

GOING VIRAL

Don’t Fill Up On The Cheese

It’s nice to have a little cheese plate to start the meal but don’t fill up or shit gets tense

Don’t put it out if you dont want us to eat, bitch

Via digg.

Scrub Hub Is Where You Go To Watch All Your Hot and Steamy Hand Washing Videos

ScrubHub is a parody of PornHub but instead of all the incest porn you find on there now, it’s just people washing their hands. Maybe you can see a brother and sister washing each others hands?

Via Mashable.com.

Trucker Does Commentary For a Gigantic Explosion at a Paper Mill

Man, this would have been an amazing plot point for The Office.

Via Twitter.

DEVELOPING: Massive explosion at paper mill in Jay, Maine; several injuries reported

*Language Warning*

pic.twitter.com/s0A5Kz58HY

— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) April 15, 2020

This Steel Mill Looks Not Safe At All

Hey, at least these guys still have work in this weird scary Russian steel mill.