Better Things Episode Review: What Periods Are Really About

pamela adlon better things 2

Better Things: What Periods Are Really About

It seems that Better Things is taking on more a thematic than narrative structure than one might expect from a comedy series. Almost like when NPR hosts an hour of short stories about one thing, Pamela Aldon took one “theme” and built several humorous (some hilarious, some touching, some downright sad) short stories for a half hour episode. This week, periods and what can result from them, i.e. kids and motherhood, was the theme of the whole thing.

Sammy starts out with the dreaded annual OBGYN appointment. And for guys who don’t know…yeah, they are about that awkward. I’m not sure of the male equivalent, but the odd thing about OBGYN appointments is, that’s close to the best version of one you can have. The doctor (played by Last Man on Earth’s Cleopatra Coleman) was nice, fast, and clinical with Sammy…who in return made nice chit-chat with the doctor who will forget everything said in about two minutes. Women go through this every year, and it’s always awkward for everyone involved.

But not as awkward as Sammy’s interaction with her “friends” who don’t seem that friendly. Last week, Constance Zimmer seemed to be in the position of friendship with Sammy; a friendly professional rival. And Sammy’s relationship with her seemed far more relaxed than with these two women (one played by Alysia Reiner who was also in this week’s Masters of Sex). Sammy’s desire for a little Sex and the City talk about periods and her continued ovulation fell on deaf ears, and she seemed amazed that being a scientific marvel with the reproductive system of a 16 year didn’t result in more talk at lunch. But the question “Do you want more kids?” did put into perspective how silly she was being; if you don’t want kids, having a period’s just kind of a drag. It’s like a guy bragging about how potent his sperm is, but insisting he never wants to be a dad.

And who could blame Sammy for not wanting to keep having kids? Her older two are being a big pain and the youngest isn’t there to be cute and affectionate this episode. After being let go on a film shoot in Canada (her part as an alien was written out) she goes back home to find her house a complete mess because they had a party in her absence (but to be fair, they thought they still had a day to clean up). As she cleans up their mess, we also see another side to Sammy’s life. As all moms are, she’s also a daughter. And as played by the great British actress Celia Imrie, we see where she gets some of her personality. More proper and British, the two have a shared candid streak that makes their conversation especially touching. After getting home to see her mother waiting to talk (she apparently lives next door) her fight with her daughters leads her to give her mom a call and offers to listen to her story on speaker phone while cleaning up. It isn’t an apology (which wasn’t necessary) but it was a compromise between mother and daughter; a who that she appreciates her mom.

The biological truth of motherhood is that it’s something that happens to women. No wonder so many women take on motherhood like it’s an extension of their person, and so many guys think of it as a good deed they’re agreeing to. There is a lack of balance from the very start that can throw-off partnerships and marriages. We see it when Sammy’s in the car, and her driver chastises her ex for leaving his kids (he would never do that), only to reveal that his own kids aren’t even in the country. No one thinks such a thing makes him a bad dad (he’s dealing with financial realities), but it highlights a big difference. Being there for kids as a father (supporting your kids financially) and being there for your kids as a mother (literally BEING THERE) are still a big divide in our society. One’s praised for doing the job, the other villainized for not doing their job well enough. Sammy grew up with one mother, but her father and birth father aren’t one in the same, and her mother’s great love is neither of those men. Why she married the American man who brought her to this country remains a big question for Sammy. She doesn’t call him “dad” she calls him “my dad” a subtle difference that distances herself (and her mother) from him.

And that distance seems to be growing for her oldest daughter as well. She’s still furious about her parents’ divorce and blames Sammy. She sees her mother’s choice (not really) to work as a form of an unchecked ego; something which would never be leveled against her father. And Sammy’s anger that her ex-husband is claiming to their girls that she broke up their marriage only makes her angrier at her oldest for believing such nonsense. The fight between them (in this and the last episode) seem so real, it’s often uncomfortable to watch. Especially when it all ends with their silence as she hides a booty call.

In the last short story of the episode (with the exception of the house party tag when Sammy stole her daughter’s condoms), Sammy’s been asked to speak at a women’s empowerment conference…but she’s the only one speaking. Her middle daughter rightly claims that she doesn’t like the way women empowerment is talked about in her school; a bad, but understandable thing to say by a teenager. Sammy being introduced to talk about being a working woman and mother is a bit like asking someone to talk about the experience of being a human. It’s a little too big a topic for a speech (basically, it’s why Adlon has a show with “thematic” episodes about a character that is a single, working mother). So after failing to win over women with her general rah-rah talk of being a working mother (a very 80s way of talking about feminism) she focuses back on periods. Most women have them, we all understand they’re a pain and they result in kids. And even after you stop having them…you’re still a mom. She wins them over with a speech that rightly embarrasses her daughter (who also thinks she’s cool for doing that).

Last month an Olympic swimmer won over the world by talking about what a pain it is to have a period while competing. And she found a fanbase because as embarrassing as we might be about it, and how bad the reactions are from a lot of guys when they hear about it, there’s nothing shameful about it. It’s a pain and inconvenience, but shame shouldn’t be a part of the conversation at all. It used to be, when having success meant hiding female realities…but that’s what this new feminism should be all about. Not hiding the realities of the female brain and body; accepting and embracing them.

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Lesley Coffin is a feature editor for FF2media and has also written the books Lew Ayres: Hollywood Conscientious Objector (2012) and Hitchcock's Stars (2014), and currently writing a third book. Follow on twitter @filmbiographer for thoughts on movies and cat pictures.
Lesley Coffin
Lesley Coffin
Lesley Coffin is a feature editor for FF2media and has also written the books Lew Ayres: Hollywood Conscientious Objector (2012) and Hitchcock's Stars (2014), and currently writing a third book. Follow on twitter @filmbiographer for thoughts on movies and cat pictures.