OPINION: True Heroes And Victims Of “The Football Culture”
For literally a week, the sports media world has been obsessed with the story of one Jonathon Martin, the Dolphins tackle who entered a treatment facility over what he claims was the way he was treated by his teammates. Little nuggets have slowly dripped out about voice-mails, threats, hazing, and any socially unacceptable thing done by Richie Incognito in his life. The term “bully” has been used, but is it being used properly? Often harassment is misnamed as bullying, mainly because the latter is a buzzword sure to go viral. And at the end of the day, we really don’t know the whole picture: we only know what Martin’s agent is willing to leak and what the Dolphin’s side of the story is. But the media needs narrative, and so they need a bad guy. That villain is Richie Incognito, whether he deserves it or not. And with a antagonist, you need a protagonist: so we’ve named Jonathon Martin a hero. But the media didn’t grant that honor to another recent victim of harassment from the football culture. Someone who deserves that title.
Her name is Daisy Coleman. The fact you know her name is a major reason why.
Daisy was just a regular 14-year-old girl in Maryville, Missouri, who became friends with a 17-year-old boy, Matt. One night in January 2012, Daisy was given a drink by he and his friends. She then shortly passed out, during which she claims she was raped by Matt and videoed by one of his friends. When he was done with her, she was dumped on her own doorstep without even a knock on the door. Wearing only the clothes she had on her, she was left to fend for herself in freezing temperatures through the night, her hair actually freezing to her head before her mother discovered her the next morning.
As they investigated, the sheriff said it was a possible open-and-shut case. But the three boys involved were football players, and the town rallied around them. For months, Daisy was subjected to harassment and death threats, in both social media and real life. She was suddenly cut from the cheerleading squad, her siblings were singled out as well, and her mother was fired from her job at a veterinary clinic. At one point, a girl came to school wearing a “Matt 1, Daisy 0” t-shirt. The torture led Daisy to depression and suicidal thoughts, which became worse when the charges were dropped. Authorities even claimed they never saw the video, despite Daisy’s brother seeing it passed around school. The hell became so much the family moved out, and this past April their for-sale home burnt to the ground.
You wouldn’t have heard Daisy’s story had it not been picked up by Dugan Arnett of the Kansas City Star. She had the ability to be anonymous as a minor and rape victim, but the now-16-year-old Daisy chose to make her name public to call attention to her case. She doesn’t have an agent, the resources to fight back, or the ability to attend the best facilities. It’s her widowed mother and her lawyer handling everything. Daisy’s been in-and-out of hospitals and treatment programs, has cut and burned herself at times, and has twice attempted to take her own life. But she’s managed to stand up against the horrible crimes committed against her, so much that her then-13-year-old friend, Paige Parkhurst, went public shortly afterwards about her rape at the same party. Thanks to her bravery, the case will be reopened by a special prosecutor.
It’s not unlike other cases, such as Lizzy Seeberg, a William & Mary’s student who claimed she was raped by a Notre Dame football player, only to see the case muddied up by Notre Dame’s insistence their campus police handle it. Her family says she also suffered harassment and threats from the player and his teammates, enough to cause her to sink into depression. Like Daisy, she attempted to take her own life: unlike Daisy, she unfortunately succeeded. Authorities in South Bend consider the case closed, because you can’t have a rape without a victim. Earlier this year, a female Navy midshipman came forward to claim she was raped by three football players after a year of being intimated by them with harassing texts and even punishment from her superiors; she had her preliminary hearing, but only to be asked questions about her sexual preferences in an effort to prove she was a slut who would’ve wanted it. And all you have to is mention the name Steubenville to bring back memories of what that town did.
But you didn’t really hear about those stories, and you barely heard about Daisy’s. Keith Olbermann did not dedicate an entire week to Daisy’s story, nor did he have a sexual assault expert talk about the unfair questioning of the Navy football victim. Outside The Lines never discussed it, and only discussed the Navy case with a re-aired segment about service academy athletes. Satellite trucks were not parked outside Maryville’s school or the Naval Academy for 24-hour reporting, nor did Pro Football Talk dedicate 70% of their posts to developments in their case. And you better believe Bob Costas will have his say Sunday night, although he never did for Daisy or Navy. It’s no different than last December, as you had to hunt for any Lizzy Seeberg coverage while Notre Dame waited for the BCS title game with the accused certainly starting,
But for some sick reason, we will feel sympathy for the football player. If players can be sympathetic people, it is the world they’re brought up in. The educator-coach who loved his players and wanted to make them better people is a bygone concept, a myth perpetuated by often-false Norman Rockwell nostalgia. Today’s coaches only care about creating all-star recruits and draft picks while winning championships, backed by boosters and an obsessed community who want the same thing. With only three or four years with their talent, the main goal is keep them eligible and out of jail, at least for the big game. Then add the conditioning that they’re soldiers in battle, suffering hardships like the thousands we’ve sent to Iraq and Afghanistan. And the ironic side to that is they are similar to the genetically-built warriors often used in sci-fi: built and conditioned for war, but unable to function in regular society. As much as you have to hold an adult responsible for his actions, you do have to admit he’s a broken individual, often raised by people more concerned for his success than his well-being.
But those subjects aren’t easy villains, and no one knows them well enough to care. It’s easier to make someone famous a bad guy than it is to search the seedy underbelly of real life evil. And they’ll never admit how many times they cross the lines of hypocrisy in a day. Never mind the fact that the previous week all the same analysts, hosts, and pundits criticized numerous players for their mental toughness. Forget the fact that Keith Olbermann dedicated an entire week to bullying a few months after naming a high school team who bungled a play “The Worst Persons In The Sports World.” On Monday, they’ll pick right up where they left off, continuing on the Incognito bandwagon and declaring Martin a hero, completely forgetting that it’s Veteran’s Day.
And the sad part is, with as little as his agent has been willing to leak, the most we know about Martin is he’s struggling right now with the ability to play football.
Daisy Coleman is struggling with the ability to live life. Elizabeth Seeberg unfortunately couldn’t.
(Image courtesy of Jezebel)
Latest posts by Unfiltered Submission (see all)
- Need A Laugh? Decasp! (Gesundheit) - June 12, 2016
- The Awkward High Five Podcast - December 9, 2015
- You like comedy? Own a piece of it! - December 3, 2015
