Attending Joan Rivers Funeral Service
Jeffrey Gurian loves to Jump Around. In his weekly column, Jeffrey brings you the latest news and gossip about who he ran into this week in and around New York, and the latest comedy news and gossip. Earlier this week, Jeffrey reported on some surprise appearances by Jerry Seinfeld and Dave Attel. In a special addition to his regular report, here Jeffrey talks about attending the funeral of the legendary Joan Rivers.
I was honored to be approved to be in attendance at the Joan Rivers funeral service on Sunday, and honored to be able to share with you, some of what took place, so today I’m bringing you a special edition of my column to talk about the service.
I got there a little late because I couldn’t find a parking spot. It was impossible, the streets were just packed with cars of people attending the event, and it was an event, just as Joan wanted it to be. The security was amazing, there were police all over. 65th street was closed from Madison Avenue to Fifth Avenue with metal stanchions and police in place and young women dressed in black with clipboards and you had to be approved in order to go in.
There was no way you could sneak in. Once you were walking down 65th street, past the metal stanchions, they still checked you out visually but they knew you belonged. And after you got past security, all the guests were treated like royalty. There were PR people everywhere, and more press waiting across the street from the synagogue. There were tons of cameras, every network was there, and hundreds and hundreds of people lined Fifth Avenue. And when you went into the synagogue, they gave you a printed beautiful program with the order of the service, as well as Joan Rivers wishes for the funeral from her book “I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me.”
I understand Howard Stern was the opener, but I got there just after, in time to hear Deborah Norville give the tribute. Deborah Norville told very funny stories. For instance she said that she went with Joan to Buckingham Palace, and Joan took a friend Tommy Corcoran‘s ashes in her purse and sprinkled them somewhere in Buckingham palace. She wanted to do that for her friend. She also had a reputation for giving away jewelry and the rumor was that if you compliment Joan on her jewelry that she would give it to you. Deborah, who was a very close friend of hers, complimented her on a beautiful Faberge necklace once, but said Joan didn’t move a muscle. Instead, Joan advised her, “sleep with the right people and you can get one too!”
Everything was very funny and lighthearted. The only sadness was the realization that Joan was no longer with us. Cindy Adams also spoke. She said that Joan had a local hairdresser that came every day at 9am to do her hair, even in Colonial Williamsburg where nobody ever got dressed up. She said the last person they saw dressed up there was Thomas Jefferson. Joan came out all bejeweled and bedecked. She had gone with Cindy Adams and Judge Judy. They were both in jeans, and Joan looked like she was going to a ball. And there was cursing in the temple. They told the rabbi not to listen. One day Joan showed up with a big black eye patch over her eye and Cindy asked her what happened. She said, that’s what happens when you spend the night pleasuring Al Roker.
Her business manager was a speaker, as was Joan’s best friend in the world, Margie Stern. Melissa Rivers, of course spoke about her mom, and she opened up by saying she was treating it like it was a tv show. She read a letter to her mom that was supposed to be in a book on moms and their daughters. Hugh Jackman also sang, and it was very moving. He had the entire congregation up on their feet clapping along. And what really touched people was the Pipe and Drum Corp of the Emerald Society of the NY Police Department. They finished the service by playing New York New York on bagpipes, through the synagogue and out into the street, with such a pomp and circumstance that’s the only way I can describe it and it brought tears to a lot of peoples eyes.
What was interesting was that usually at a funeral, people don’t applaud, but people applauded every speaker that got up.
Of course there were so many celebrities there, and I also ran into a few old friends. I saw Don and Melania Trump. Don Junior and Vanessa were there and he’s a friend that came over to say hi. I also saw Geraldo Rivera and his wife Erika. And Jeffrey Ross came over to thank me for calling him to be on the Ron and Fez Tribute that we did the other day on SiriusXM. Jeffrey said that he really needed to talk and he appreciated it. Also, he shaved his head because he’s hosting the Oddball Festival this summer. Jeffrey was never really comfortable with his hair anyway, he never knew how to wear it and he always had a crazy style (like I should talk, right?), so now he’s completely bald, with just a beard. But he was very touched and said thank you very much for letting him participate in the tribute.
And Judy Gold was there, she came in from Hawaii. Kathy Griffin, Rosie O’Donnell were there, and I was talking to Billy Bush. And then I got to talk to Mehmet Oz which was cool because I got to reminisce with him. He did heart surgery on my mom, and in her hospital room we had a whole talk about healing and energy and the kind of stuff that I do, and that’s what he did. Before he was really famous on television, he was known for holding a human heart in his hand while doing surgery and speaking to the heart before he would finish the surgery. A very powerful technique. So he said to me, you’re not the kind of person that someone would forget meeting. He also told me that Joan was supposed to be on his show the day she passed away. He also told me that Joan had told him that her greatest fear was always the anesthesia. She was more afraid of anesthesia than she was afraid of surgery.
And the other person I ran into was Larry Amaros, a very old friend of mind who was like family to Joan. He wrote her most recent book with her, Diary of a Mad Diva. He apologized for not being a part of the Ron and Fez SiriusXM tribute to Joan but he explained to me that he was so close to Melissa that he wanted to get clearance with her before he did anything.
That’s it for my Joan coverage. I’ll be back with my regular column next week letting you know what’s happening in the New York Clubs.
Jeffrey Gurian is a writer and comedian in New York. Visit his website at comedymatterstv.com.
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