What Should Americans Be Thankful For!?

Published by The Editor at November 24, 2011

Each year at Thanksgiving we think of the things we have to be thankful for. Usually, our families, our friends and loved ones, our health, sometimes even our jobs. But what about all the things in our life that we forget to be thankful for? Here is our list, of just a few of those things.

1. Be Thankful for Our National Parks.

If you want to fall in love with this place, visit our National Parks. Gorgeous and awe-inspiring nature. If you never leave the highway, the scenery can sometimes all look the same, but it ain’t! From sea to shining sea there are now 58 National Parks, which preserve our natural resources, natural wildlife and natural beauty. To kinda quote the title Ken Burn’s Documentary The National Parks: America’s Best Idea. (visit our 5: America’s National Parks Here)

2. Be Thankful for Regional Barbecue.

There was BBQ in the USA before there even was a USA! The origins of barbecue in this country can be traced way back to colonial times and just like everything, developed into what it is today based on the region of the country, the landscape, the lifestyle of the immigrants there. I’m thankful for good barbecue from everywhere. Whether you favor Memphis style ribs, Texas pit, pulled pork from the Carolinas, or the sweet-sauced BBQ of Kansas City, there are plenty of slow-cooked, smoky meats to enjoy in the USofA.

3. Be Thankful for The Daily Show & The Colbert Report

We’re thankful for the most excellent comedic relief from the real news and politics of our times. Thankful for the funniness and satirical insight! Thankful for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert!!!

4. Be Thankful for the All American Diner

Who is there for you in the late late hours when everyone else would turn you away? Who will offer you the comfort of pancakes and eggs and bacon when the clock says it’s time for dinner? And who will put all this in your reach in an overlit environment with chrome walls, paintings of dolphins, and often a full bar? Only your mother, and your local diner. And your diner won’t yell at you for forgetting to take out the garbage.

5. Be Thankful for Minor League Baseball.

Real baseball that’s played at prices a family can afford. These teams actually love the fans, and the players are glad to sign autographs. They have contests for the kids, fireworks and local car dealers throwing out the first pitch. It may be the last bastion of small town America we have left. With names like the Vermont Sea Monsters Chattanooga Look Outs and Joliet Jackhammers they don’t take themselves too seriously and yet it is serious baseball. You may see a future MLB hero. Take in a game pick a player and root for him to make the bigs.

6. Be Thankful for Girl Scout Cookies

Thin mints, trefoils, chocolate chunk cookies, samoas, and the heavenly peanut butter chocolate tagalongs! You can only get them once a year, thank god because a single cookie has the fat of a full meal in some countries. But they’re delicious and it’s for a good cause, right?

7. Be Thankful for Nyquil

The only thing that makes a cold bearable is the sweet, warm, licoricey, mucous-free coma brought on by a shot of Nyquil. That’s right, so you can rest medicine.

8. Be Thankful for Starbucks…

…Bathrooms. Wait! Wait! Seriously. Hear me out. If you have a small child with a tiny, more or less useless bladder, you know that a bathroom emergency can happen anywhere. Luckily, Starbucks are everywhere, and the bathrooms are relatively clean, you don’t have to retrieve the key from a surly counter worker, and they don’t make you buy anything first. A godsend in an emergency. You can also substitute Barnes and Noble here.

9. Be Thankful for the Simple, Perfect, Cheeseburger.

We all take it for granted, but everyone should take a moment out of their lives and really appreciate how good a burger is. And you can get one almost anywhere, from the local diner (see above) to the golden arches to our super chic restaurants nowadays.

10. Be Thankful for Overnight Delivery

We’ve all come to take this modern luxury for granted. You can go on the internet, open a catalog or call someone and tell them you want something…by tomorrow morning…and you can get it! And it’s even affordable! Who would have ever imagined you could demand that something from across the country be in your hands by tomorrow morning, and get it without paying thousands of dollars. Amazing!

11. Be Thankful for the Big Screen Movie Theater Experience

Everyone loves to hate the big theater experience but seriously, we are lucky to have it. The opportunity to sit in front of a screen the size of your house, (sometimes larger) is beyond belief. Think about it! If we didn’t have movie theaters– had never heard of them– and someone described this magical place to us where you could be surrounded by sound and see giant moving images, we’d offer to pay anything for the experience. AND you can eat snacks there too! Now if only they could figure out how to make popcorn good again, we’d be set.

12. Be Thankful for the Opportunity to Get to Know Every American…

…one reality show at a time. With hundreds of reality shows on the air we are able to watch each other at work or at play around the clock. Never be jealous of anyone else’s tv success because it will be of course short lived. And remember your own show can’t be too far away. Andy Warhol may have only be right about one thing but he was right as rain about it.

13. Be Thankful for Unlimited Syndicated Sitcoms

Yes, it’s true, with the exception of a few good shows, television is largely a wasteland. But luckily, there is a magical land where yesteryear lives on forever and it’s called syndicationland. This is a place where shows that used to blow have somehow become not only tolerable, but something you look forward to. And shows that used to be great are forever preserved for your endless enjoyment. So be thankful for unending reruns of Seinfeld, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond and the King of Queens. Without them, you’d probably be forced to watch The Tonight Show.

14. Be Thankful for Social Media

With Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Yelp, Four Square, Google Plus and more you can have all of those annual socially awkward moments with relatives without actually having to make eye contact. When things get ugly, just click off!

15. And finally…Be Thankful for the Great American Pendulum

No matter where you stand on any issue…no matter how grim things may seem for your particular point of view, fear not. Because the Great American Pendulum is in effect and guarantees you that if you wait just a little while, that pendulum is going to come a-swinging back in your direction. Of course, it will then go whizzing right past you into absurdity..but don’t worry, it will be back again. So if you’re disheartened, humiliated, unpopular, ‘out’, unloved, or incorrect, you will soon find yourself on the other side of that coin and be cool, popular, loved, ‘in’ and correct.

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What are you thankful for?

The Editor