Track Our Mystery Sack: The Flotsam General Store Starts Filling Orders
Exciting news! After placing an order for a genuine Flotsam and Jetsam mystery sack last month, at the Flotsam General Store run by Eugene Mirman and H. Jon Benjamin, our order confirmation has arrived, and it only took one month! What will be in our mystery sack? We don’t know! When will it arrive? We don’t know that either! According to the proprietors, Mirman and Benjamin, the items in the mystery sack are selected in a special way. “What you receive depends on what we choose for you in the moment. In this way, a symbiotic chain is created between producer and consumer. Our mission is to always build on that chain, until that chain enwraps all of us and we are thusly bound together, chained.”
Thank you for ordering a limited first-edition Flotsam Mystery Sack. Our curation process has been completed, and your Mystery Sack is currently being hand-forged.
Our confirmation email stated, “Our curation process has been completed, and your Mystery Sack is currently being hand-forged.” Hand-forged? Sounds fancy. “We anticipate that you will receive your completed Sack in December, but promises are like eggs, too easily scrambled (or too easily broken). Our limited edition Sacks are selling out quickly. If you would like to order a Flotsam Mystery Sack for a friend– or enemy- please be sure to place your order by December 12th.”
We can’t wait to share the contents of our shiny new sack.
