The 5: Failed Attempts At Comedy

 

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Acting isn’t easy, as even the most gifted performers don’t even get nominated for an Academy Award let alone win one. But just because there aren’t any comedic Oscar’s given out each year doesn’t mean it’s a walk-in-the park. Here are five actors who decided to try their hand at comedy only to find themselves stepping in shit in the process.

  • Sylvester Stallone ‘Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot’ (1992): During Roger Ebert’s long and storied career, he saw and reviewed thousands of films, so it’s saying something when he called ‘Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot’ as one of the worst movies he’s ever seen. The Stallone, Estelle Getty vehicle tells the story of an elderly mother visiting her tough detective son as she begins to meddle in his career. Odd humor and a confused Getty make this movie ride the line between horror and comedy as Stallone as stated his regret for making this movie. Hey Sly, you’ve got to pay for those summer homes somehow.  Watch a particularly uncomfortable scene from the movie on YouTube.
  • Bruce Willis ‘Breakfast of Champions’ (1999): Bruce Willis has turned out several memorable roles during his long career which include some great straight man performances in ‘Cop Out’ and ‘Moonrise Kingdom’. It’s when he goes out on his own that the problems start. An film version of a Kurt Vonnegut novel would be a challenge for most comedic actors, but Willis’ over-the-top performance coupled with overblown visual effects make this film almost unrecognizable from it’s source material. Vonnegut later called the film “painful to watch” in the 2004 audiobook of the same name, which makes you wonder if a Tracy Morgan appearance could have even saved this movie.  Watch a clip from Breakfast of Champions on YouTube.
  • Vin Diesel ‘The Pacifier’ (2005): It’s important for an actor to spread his wings and test the waters of different genres, as acclaimed thespian Vin Diesel decided to do with ‘The Pacifier’. Diesel plays a Navy SEAL assigned to protect five children whose recently deceased father developed a top-secret government experiment. The film is a lighthearted Disney comedy but nobody told that to Diesel, who approaches his role with the same intensity as he did in ‘Saving Private Ryan’. Comedies aren’t for everyone Vin, just stick with the ‘Fast and the Furious’ franchise.  Watch a clip from The Pacifier on YouTube.
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger ‘Junior’ (1995): Arnold Schwarzenegger get’s pregnant with the help of his colleague Danny DeVito. What else really needs to be said? Schwarzenegger is one of the greatest action stars to ever grace the silver screen, but in the medium of comedy, the spoken word is the main focus, something that isn’t always easy for Arnie. When the pregnant man jokes grow thin you’ve always got some good material in Schwarzenegger being big and DeVito being small plus the Governator working as a gynecologist could be enough to place this in the horror genre.  Watch a clip of Junior here.
  • Ben Affleck ‘Surviving Christmas’ (2004): Ben Affleck has shown that he has some comedic chops when placed in a good ensemble cast, as he has proven with his work with director Kevin Smith. But when left to his own devices in the holiday comedy ‘Surviving Christmas’ Affleck just can’t keep it together. A millionaire who pays a family to spend Christmas with him doesn’t sound like an awful idea, and James Gandolfini in a supporting role sounds promising, but Affleck’s desperate attempts to seem lovable will make you wish you were watching ‘Gigli’ instead.  Watch a clip on YouTube.

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