Puppy Love is Now a Sex Crime in KneeJerk, America

Crazy things happen every day in the United States, but some really take the cake.  Apparently police were summoned to an elementary school in Florida last week.  Why?  Was it an intruder?  A threat to safety?  Drugs?  A fight?

Nope.  The reason for police involvement was….ready for this?

A girl kissed a boy during physical education class.

THANK GOODNESS for quick action by school officials!  Forget the police, call in the cavalry!  And lucky for us, the school officials had the brilliant foresight to actually reported it as a sex crime!  I mean…who knows where this ‘stolen kiss’ could lead!?  What’s next?  Dating!?

Here’s the cold hard facts, thanks to the folks at thesmokinggun.com:  The assistant principal of Orange River Elementary School called in the cops after a teacher spotted the smooch Wednesday at the Fort Myers school. In fact, Margaret Ann Haring, 56, initially called child welfare officials, who directed her to contact the sheriff, according to a report.

Turns out, they were only 12 YEARS OLD!  And…the kiss apparently occurred after two girls debated over whom the boy liked more.   That’s when one of the girls “went over and kissed” the boy.  I think we can all see where this is leading.  We can’t allow our girls to be so brazen, can we!?

I know, you’re waiting for the surprise ending to this story.  The part where Yakov Smirnov pops in with a cameo saying, ‘Only in America!’  But no, its true.  Here’s some video we found over at mediaite.com to prove it.
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