Thirty-two comics were showcased on the two-hour season premier, and fourteen of those comics are advancing to the semi finals. Here is your list of it all. Who made it, who didn’t and where to find them on twitter. Come back next week as the invitational round continues. Congratulations to Tracy Ashley, Mark Normand, Dave Landau, Aida Rodriguez, Joe Machi, Rod Man, Dana Eagle, Nick Guerra, Erin Jackson, Mike Vecchione, Jasper Redd, Lachlan Patterson, Tyree Elaine, Jimmy Shubert
1. Vinnie Brand @Vinnie_Brand showed up in a quick pre-opener clip. Not moving on.
2. Dave Landau. @landaudave “I was standing there playing skeeball trying to win enough tickets to get a vasectomy.” (on Chuck E. Cheese) SEMI-FINALIST!
3. Tracy Ashley @Tashley305 Tracy got a background video about traveling with her own air mattress and will be remembered as the woman who puts the hotel remote control in a bag. “Could you imagine Oprah Winfrey in the underground railroad? (Oprah Impression) “If you look under your Chaaa-airssss. Freeeedom! YOU get a map! YOU get a map!” SEMI-FINALIST!
4. Guy Branum @guybranum Not moving on, but he did grow up on an almond farm, so there’s that.
5. David Waite @davidwaitecomedy David got a short clip on, where he talked about day drinking. Not moving on.
6. Phoebe Robinson @probinsoncomedy Phoebe had a quick clip where she talked about interracial dating, but didn’t get the nod to move forward.
7. Rob Christensen @RobLovesBagels Rob also got a short set but didn’t make the cut.
8. Mark Normand @marknorm “i used to work as a janitor during the day so this is a nice step up. Mopping floors, cleaning toilets. I remember one day I was mopping the floor and a businessman slipped. He was like **** man, if the floor is wet you gotta put a sign down. I’m like, I’m mopping in front of you. I am the sign. You know that little guy on the sign doing this? [mop gesture] That’s me but in 3D.” SEMI-FINALIST!
9. Rod Man @rodmancomedy “They trick you into being an employee.” (about self check out counters) SEMI-FINALIST!
10. Lynne Koplitz @funnylynne Lynne go to talk with her mentor, Joan Rivers and did a little crowd work but she didn’t get picked to move forward.
11. Dave Stone @davestonecomedy Dave lives in a van and made the judges laugh asking if “Anyone ever call in sick to work because you ate too much for breakfast?” But he didn’t make it out of the invitational round.
12. Erik Rivera @erikrivera Erik got a quick clip on, but did not make it to the next round.
13. Andi Smith had a quick set and wondered why girls get boob jobs for graduation gifts, when they really should get boobs if they don’t graduate. But she won’t be moving forward.
14. Tim Northern @timnorthern Tim recently found out he is rat poison intolerant. He also did not advance.
15. Aida Rodriguez @funnyaida Aida taught her daughter about bullies. “One day your bully’s name is going to be taxes and supervisor.” And she’s a SEMI-FINALIST.
16. Joe Machi @joemachi Joe trended on twitter and had a new take on race. “Have you guys ever noticed that black people……” “…..and white people are the same. Cause if you haven’t, you are a racist.” Don’t ask him his bank card password. SEMI-FINALIST!
17. Erin Jackson @EJtheComic Erin has bad luck in dating, is good luck in Last Comic Standing! SEMI FINALIST!
18. Jimmy Shubert @jimmyshubert Jimmy explained why a chicken omelet is just barbaric. “An egg omelet with chunks of chicken in it. Which is wrong. You don’t take the eggs out of the chicken, then cook the chicken, and put it in the eggs.” “Thats’ not breakfast, thats a vendetta. Whose ordering breakfast Tony Soprano?” Jimmy is going on as a SEMI-FINALIST
19. Lachlan Patterson @lachjaw Lachlan said the best part of the buffet is there’s no waiter to bother him. “What can I get for you? The hell out of my way.” And he’s a SEMI-FINALIST.
20. Gloria Bigelow @gloriabigelow Gloria only had as short clip up, and she explained that crudite is not ghetto. Not a finalist.
21. Patrick Susmilch @patricksusi Talked about how women can use home catheters now. “Glass ceiling, shattered.” Patrick didn’t make it to the semi finals.
22. Shakir Standley @shaknotshaq Shakir has a love for churros but it wasn’t enough to get him to the finals.
23. Mike Vecchione @comicmikev “Thats what i don’t like about cops. They never compliment you, they always tell you what you did wrong.” Roseanne said he delivered the mail, and Mive is moving on as a SEMI-FINALIST.
24. Jasper Redd @jasperredd Jasper says, “I don’t drink 1800 tequila. 1800 wasn’t a good year for black folk. You got some 1992 tequila, then I’ll partake.” He also doesn’t understand why black people like movies about slavery. And he’s moving on. SEMI-FINALIST.
25. Ben Kronberg. @benkronberg Ben didn’t quite get along with the judges. Roseanne told him to go fuck himself, and Russell told him he took a lot of time to tell an old joke. He did not make it out of the invitationals but he did get to fight with the judges, and we’re expecting his clip will become a YouTube hit.
26. Dana Eagle @DanaEagleTweets “Finding a mate is like finding parking at the mall. Sometimes you have to just pull in and say this is as close as we’re gonna get.” Bad luck in love once again = SEMI FINALIST
27. Pat Regan @pattyregan Pat performed with a guitar, but isn’t going to see the semis.
28. Bob kubota @bobkubota Bob only got a short clip on air, but didn’t make it to the next round.
29. Chase bernstein @chase_chase Chase had a great joke about discounts to the holocaust museum, but didn’t make the cut.
30. Michael Somerville @m_somerville Doesn’t like to change tires, and isn’t moving ahead in LCS.
31. Tyree Elaine @tyreeelaine Tyree explained that “white people are so positive that they give you bad noise like it hurts. they clench their teeth like (whispers) your cards been declined.” And she’s moving to the next round- SEMI-FINALIST!
32 Nick Guerra @nickguerra Was the last to perform but the judges loved him. SEMI-FINALIST!
Next Thursday, the invitationals continue. See you on Thursday for more Last Comic Standing. Don’t forget to go to our special Last Comic Standing page all season long to follow along.