Ari Shaffir’s 5 Favorite Stories From This Is Not Happening

Ari Shaffir - Color 1

’s This Is Not Happening enters the second season of its third incarnation Tuesday on Comedy Central.

It began as a live show in Los Angeles, where Shaffir invited a group of comedians to come flex their storytelling muscles while sticking to a specific theme each night. After becoming phenomenally popular in LA and across the country on the festival circuit, it got picked up by Comedy Central Digital as a streaming-only series. After two seasons online, TINH became the showpiece of Comedy Central’s strategy to use Digital as an incubator when it made the leap to broadcast. With all those crazy stories about drugs, fights, love and pooping your pants, we asked Ari to name his favorites from on air and online, along with the live stories he regrets have never made it onto film.

: Prison Riot

Ali Siddiq was one of my favorite ones from last year, or overall, really. His story was great about getting stabbed in a prison riot. A lot of times you get stories about things that didn’t happen or stuff that almost happened, but a lot of my favorites were stuff that definitely, really did happen.


Ms. Pat: Life Saving Titties

Ms. Pat getting her nipple shot off. That’s definitely real, she’s like “I’ll show you, I got no nipple!”


Big : Luis & The Dog

I love that Big Jay story about watching his friend have sex through the window. I asked him to do it a long time ago, but he said he wanted to keep it for his special, but then nobody was giving him a special so I was like, “All right, just come do it already.”


Gets Gay Bashed

Sean Patton getting gay bashed, I loved that first one and he’s back again this year.


Joey Diaz Does Heroin

Joey Diaz’s first one, and he’s just going to come back every single year.

The White Whales

“I definitely want to get and in,” Ari said. “Those are two of my white whales. Jefferies did it live once and it was greeaaaaaat and Burr’s done it a bunch of times and he’s been great too. Like, every time. I don’t know why I can’t get them on! And we were trying to get Dave Grohl for a while, and Blake Griffin. I think it would be good to have an athlete on. We try to do a couple non-comics a year and I think Griffin would be cool, he seems like he has a sense of humor. Or Charles Barkley, but Blake Griffin is still playing now.”

Watch the Season Two premiere of Ari Shaffir’s This is Not Happening on Tuesday, February 23 at 12:30 am (technically the 24th for you clockwatchers).


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Amy E Hawthorne is a New York by way of LA comedy journalist and founder of She's also a produced numerous stand-up shows, got a paycheck and a drinking problem from The Comedy Store and is convinced that the Big Avocado lobby are the ones who really pull the strings in this country.