Theo Von and Sarah Tiana Defend Southern Honor…Sort Of

theo von no offense

Theo Von and Sarah Tiana are two LA-based comedians who share southern roots. Sarah was born and raised in Georgia before moving to LA to pursue comedy. She founded the well-respected sketch group The Strait Jacket Society and became a regular at all the major clubs. She has contributed to projects on E!, CMT and the Comedy Central Roast series, as well as championing her deep and great love of sports in her web series and as a writer for the ESPYs and NFL on FOX. Sarah’s album Commodity is available on iTunes.

Theo grew up in Louisiana before becoming a reality TV heartthrob on multiple seasons of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Like many a former reality star, Theo turned to stand-up, but unlike most, he truly loves it and is actually very good at it. He is also a regular around LA, landed a Comedy Central Half Hour in 2012 and still sends crank texts to random strangers. His Netflix special Theo Von: No Offense premiers on February 26.

We caught up with Theo and Sarah when they were both in New York recently and asked them to debunk some persistent myths about The South, which they did….kinda.

1. Southerners can’t read

Theo Von: I think that’s a misconception, well, unless it’s the Bible. I was born with that in my brain.

2. They’re incestuous

Sarah Tiana: Some of my cousins are really attractive and I can’t help that. It’s just that we’re all attractive [in my family]

Theo Von: I only knew one kid whose brother slept with his mom and that’s how he got there, his dad was his brother. But I’ll tell you this story, one time we all went to a dance in 7th or 8th grade and afterward we went to a buddy of mine’s house. He had a fire outside, so we were all hanging out by the fire. So, my buddy had this girl who was his date and he ended up touching her, you know, genitals and everything. Then my buddy’s dad comes out of the house and asks, “What are you guys up to?” and we’re just hanging out, you know, and I was like, “Well your son just touched this girl’s genitals” and then his dad just starts smelling his hand! I swear to god.

3. They’re racist

Sarah Tiana: Racist is the biggest thing, everyone just assumes that we’re screaming the N word randomly all day

Theo Von: Yeah, we’re not racist, we just don’t like you-know-who

4. They aren’t over the Civil War

Sarah Tiana: That was a tough loss. It wasn’t about slavery, though, it was about taxes!

Theo Von: I thought it was just about who had the better costumes

Sarah Tiana: I mean, it’s about taxes if you figure nobody wanted to pay for labor and that’s what the tax was on.

Theo Von: If you even believe in slavery….I mean, they never found the boats.

5. That they’re mouth breathers

Theo Von: That’s bullshit, we breathe through our hearts and bleed red, white and blue!

6. They eat roadkill

Sarah Tiana: No, we keep ‘em as pets


Watch  Theo Von: No Offense premiering on February 26 exclusively on Netflix.

 

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Amy E Hawthorne is a New York by way of LA comedy journalist and founder of ComedyGroupie.com. She's also a produced numerous stand-up shows, got a paycheck and a drinking problem from The Comedy Store and is convinced that the Big Avocado lobby are the ones who really pull the strings in this country.
Amy Hawthorne
Amy Hawthorne
Amy E Hawthorne is a New York by way of LA comedy journalist and founder of ComedyGroupie.com. She's also a produced numerous stand-up shows, got a paycheck and a drinking problem from The Comedy Store and is convinced that the Big Avocado lobby are the ones who really pull the strings in this country.