Jim Florentine Talks About the Cringe-Worthy Time He Met Andrew Dice Clay for the First Time

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Comedian was a guest on the show this week, and told some great stories about working with Andrew “Dice” Clay. Florentine went on the road with Dice for about 5 or 6 years as his opening act. According to Florentine, Dice would take ball busting to an extreme—even by comedian standards. He pissed people off, all the time, just being a dick.  “If he can make one person laugh, he doesn’t care. He’ll alienate everybody.” Florentine said. Florentine has a ton of stories of Dice fucking with people,  and he told a few of them on The Ron and Fez Show.  Like the time they were an hour late for a gig, and Dice pretended to be stumbling drunk to freak out the promoter, and kept it going for over an hour. Or the time he decided that instead of being introduced, he would just walk on and interrupt Florentine’s opening act in the middle of a bit — for no reason– and start the show.

Florentine had asked him to help prank the guests at his wedding a few years back but Dice didn’t want to take the attention away from the ceremony. But if Florentine was looking for a  “Dice” moment, Clay didn’t disappoint. “He just came up to me, he goes, ‘Look. I see some of your friends that are here. And they’re a bunch of fucking creeps and lowlifes. And I’m not leaving a card, cause I know they’re gonna steal it.” And Dice handed him a wad of cash. No card, nothing.

jim and jimBut the funniest story Florentine told, was about the time he and fellow comedian met for the first time. It was about 15 years ago at the world famous Comedy Store in Los Angeles, and it was a meeting that would change their lives. They were both already huge fans of Dice, who at that time was playing some of the biggest arenas in the country.

“We flew to LA and we’re staying at the Bel Age behind the Viper room, and we heard that Dice was at the comedy store,” Florentine said. Comedian had tipped them off, so they went over to try and meet their comedy idol. When they got to the Comedy Store, Vos was talking with Dice, so they decided to try to get a picture.

I go “Andrew can I get a picture with you?” He goes “No.” And I go, “I just wanna get a qui—.“ He goes “no, nobody tells me what to do.” And then he just keeps looking at Vos and talking to him. Me and Norton are just standing there, like “oh my G–is this alright? Or what a Dick!” And I’m like, “Norton, hold on, I’m going to ask one more time.” I go “Look Dice, I’m a comic from New York. We’re comics. We just want to get a quick picture, we’re fans.” He’s like, “so what? So what do you want me to do? Seriously, what do you want me to do?” I go, “I just wanna get a picture.” And he’s like an inch away from my face and I’m like, this guy is gonna punch me in the face. And Norton’s like, “dude what are you doing? Let’s just get out of here.” And he goes “Really? You guys are comics from New York?” I go yeah, he goes “Yeah we can take a picture.”

The crowd was just staring at us for ten minutes. I’ve never bombed like that before in my life and Dice and his buddies were in the back cracking up

Norton and Florentine started talking to Dice about how much they loved some of his old albums. “The Day the Laughter Died” was a double album recorded live, with Dice improving– and bombing — but intentionally. “They’re the greatest albums in comedy history,” Florentine said. “He just goes into Dangerfield’s with no material and just starts screaming at people walking out. He does no jokes, he’s just babbling up there.”  He had lines like “Bette Midler shits yodels” on the album, and Florentine and Norton were telling Dice some of the great lines they remembered from the album. Dice loved it so much he arranged for the two of them to get on stage next and then told them  he wanted them to perform some of those jokes– jokes that were designed to bomb– in front of the Comedy Store audience. And they did.  “The crowd was just staring at us for ten minutes. I’ve never bombed like that before in my life and Dice and his buddies were in the back cracking up.” Dice loved it. He couldn’t believe they had the balls to go up and “take the bullet” the first time on stage at a world famous club.  They hung out that night, Dice told them he wanted to take them shopping the next day.  And he did, but not before humiliating one of their buddies by telling him he wasn’t allowed to go with them.

We tried to bring this other comic, Lenny Marcus with us in the car.  “Hey can our friend Lenny come with us?”  He goes “no.”   And Lenny’s standing right there.  I go “He’s a friend of ours.”  “I don’t care.”  I go, “He’s a comic from New York.”  He goes, “You’re not funny, I’m sorry.  You might be a comic, there’s no…what funny could you say?  No you’re not coming.”

That night eventually led to Florentine and Norton becoming two of Dice’s opening acts, which changed their careers and lives.

“He just loves busting balls” Florentine said. “That’s his whole life.”

 

Jim FlorentineJim Florentine is a standup comic and co-host of VH1’s “That Metal Show” and host of “Metal Midgets” on SiriusXM satellite radio. Metal Midgets airs on Ozzy’s Boneyard at Channel 38. You can visit his website JimFlorentine.com, or follow him on twitter @MrJimFlorentine. You can also download his podcast “Comedy Metal Midgets” on itunes.com

Read Jim Florentine’s “The Comedian Who Changed My Life.

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