Comedians React to Election Night, Nothing Funny Here
We follow 2100 comedians on Twitter which means every day we have the funniest feed no matter what’s happening in the world. Every day except for November 8th and 9th 2016. There was no laughing, almost nobody making jokes, and not very many happy voters tweeting. Although many comedians had joked throughout the election that having Donald Trump in the White House would be great for comedy, nobody was celebrating.
As we followed along throughout election night, we slowly watched the mood turn from excited, to hopeful, to nervous, to frightened, to angry and depressed. We’ve picked a cross section of the tweets from our feed throughout the night to show you how our comedian friends reacted throughout the coverage of Election 2016, and Donald Trump’s surprising win. Starting with earlier in the night…ending at well…the end.
If you've voted for candy, you've confused the election with Halloween. #ElectionDay #Vote2016
— Mike Vecchione (@ComicMikeV) November 8, 2016
I wish the election ballot had a comments section.
— pete lee (@peteleetweets) November 9, 2016
Polls closed. Here we go. Watch the coverage on CNN because heir graphics package makes it feel like the Super Bowl. pic.twitter.com/OAhNrY3RWO
— Iliza Shlesinger (@iliza) November 9, 2016
over/under on trump angrily exposing his penis on live tv tonight
— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) November 9, 2016
If the election is tied at midnight, I predict Brian Williams will declare himself President. #ElectionNight #Election2016
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) November 9, 2016
Someone should do an exit poll on Giuliani's humanity.
— Andy Kindler (@AndyKindler) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/amateuradam/status/796159585254076418
Fuck Trump pic.twitter.com/eCsCWzBVQP
— Tommy Chong (@tommychong) November 9, 2016
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS CLOSE I HATE EVERYTHING COME SEE ME DO COMEDY AT 8 AT @HollywoodImprov
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) November 9, 2016
Cool job on not learning from history, 3rd party patriots!
— mindy tucker (@withreservation) November 9, 2016
What I've learned so far tonight: America is WAAAAAAAAY more sexist than it is racist. And it's pretty fucking racist. #ElectionNight
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 9, 2016
You are disgusting. Grow up. https://t.co/uDAd04SmFq
— Judy Gold ?? (@JewdyGold) November 9, 2016
"It's ok. Everything will be fine. Not gonna worry." – me about this race right now and me leaving my first season at SNL.
— Brooks Wheelan (@brookswheelan) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/fortunefunny/status/796179145063428096
WAIT A MINUTE TRUMP WON ALABAMA?!? WHAT IS THIS BLACK MIRROR?!?!
— Chris D'Elia (@chrisdelia) November 9, 2016
This country is filled with hate.
— Annie Lederman (@annielederman) November 9, 2016
I hate this and don't understand.
— Step Toilet ? (@StephTolev) November 9, 2016
11/9 could possibly be worse than 9/11.
— chris laker (@ChrisLaker) November 9, 2016
C'mon Florida! VOTE HARDER!!!
This can't be on your dime again.
Make a fucking decision for once.
Just dominate one way or the other. Goofy.— Jon Ferguson Mohr (@jaymohr37) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/jimtews/status/796181381080612867
Nail biter? This is a finger chomper. I'll have no hands in 2 hrs.
Which is how women & minorities will feel for the next 4 years.— Sean Patton (@mrseanpatton) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/PhilanthropyGal/status/796183192029933568
This label reminds me of the country we live in. #Decision2016 pic.twitter.com/8PEj8js3r0
— Doug Benson, co-host of Dining w/D and K (@DougBenson) November 9, 2016
If anyone is surprised that the race is close, or if trump wins, you have been in a bubble. #ElectionNight
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) November 9, 2016
Just called Montana a cunt.
— Ben Kronberg (@benkronberg) November 9, 2016
Guys we are losing get to the polls we can not lose GUYS. WOMEN!!!!!!!
— t.j. miller (@nottjmiller) November 9, 2016
Happy to report I'll be watching the rest of the results from a bunker in an undisclosed location. #Election2016
— Jono Zalay (@JonoZalay) November 9, 2016
I really don't know how people can make jokes right now. If you need me, I'll be screaming and running into the woods forever
— DeAnne Smith (@DeAnne_Smith) November 9, 2016
Election update: I am shitting things I didn't eat into pants I'm not wearing. #ElectionNight
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/carlyaquilino/status/796190549602660352
https://twitter.com/emmawillmann/status/796192863344357376
Donald Trump is running the table and is going to easily win. The people have sent a clear message that we're dumb as fuck.
— yannispappas (@yannispappas) November 9, 2016
You know how Twitter asks "What's happening?" when you go to type a new tweet? My sentiments exactly! #ElectionNight
— Ed Helms (@edhelms) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/joederosacomedy/status/796196565983621120
Btw you are entirely allowed to freak out if you want to. Please, let it out–this is not an easy thing. #ElectionNight
— Margaret Cho (@margaretcho) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/JenKirkman/status/796198113400655872
So, do we know who's playing Emperor Palpatine for the next four years? #ElectionNight
— Rebecca A. Trent (@rebelcave) November 9, 2016
Whomever wins I'm still going to Pizzeria Uno tmrw. I love their breadsticks #size38waist #Decision2016 #Vote2016
— Chris Distefano (@chrisdcomedy) November 9, 2016
WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!
— kurt braunohler (@kurtbraunohler) November 9, 2016
If Trump wins I'm moving into a Russian nesting doll.
— It's Greggers (@gregorybehrendt) November 9, 2016
Who has heroin, crack, meth or any other drug I've ever been curious about right now?
— Dave Hill (@mrdavehill) November 9, 2016
We are on the verge of electing a man who often wears a suit and a baseball hat at the same time.
— Joe List (@JoeListComedy) November 9, 2016
Looks like I may have to revise some of my favorite conspiracy theories…
— His Divine Grace Dr. Duncan Trussell PHD (@duncantrussell) November 9, 2016
Bob Dylan. 1964. pic.twitter.com/KbyhoUF08z
— Kevin Allison (@TheKevinAllison) November 9, 2016
I've never felt the desire to pray until now.
— Krystyna Hutchinson (@KrystynaHutch) November 9, 2016
I'm freaking the fuck out right now.
— Bobby Lee (@bobbyleelive) November 9, 2016
"Hello, is this the suicide hotline?"
"Yes, thank god you called, I was about to end it all."— "Ian" Abramson (@ianabramson) November 9, 2016
Aside from all the civil liberties I care deeply about, the damage to this planet under a trump administration hurts my fucking heart most.
— Bridget Everett (@bridgeteverett) November 9, 2016
Feel so sad.
— Maria Bamford (@mariabamfoo) November 9, 2016
Don't forget to set your clocks back 60 years tonight. #ElectionNight
— Amanda Nuanes (@amandanuanes) November 9, 2016
5 steps forward. 10 steps back.
— Trevor Noah (@Trevornoah) November 9, 2016
This is an example of what a rich, white man can do if he puts America's mind to it #ElectionNight
— Yamaneika Saunders (@yamaneika) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/SusieEssman/status/796225149423026177
Some didn't like Bush. Some didn't like Obama. But this is different. Forget dislike. Many are genuinely fearful now. This is new.
— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/RickyVelez/status/796240926288949248
https://twitter.com/DSGermain/status/796243356644884480
https://twitter.com/michelleisawolf/status/796255157113786368
https://twitter.com/sammorril/status/796256858835132416
I'd throw up but now I know it could grow up to be the president of the United States.
— "Ian" Abramson (@ianabramson) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/michelleisawolf/status/796257521480691712
https://twitter.com/therealroseanne/status/796257688795561984
WHAT A GOLDEN AGE OF WILLFUL IGNORANCE
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) November 9, 2016
Riot.
— Jenny Zigrino (@jennyzigrino) November 9, 2016
Trump Pence #Election2016 pic.twitter.com/16lwHC5fgO
— Matteo Lane (@MatteoLane) November 9, 2016
AND WHO THE FUCK IS JOFFREY BARATHEON ON HIS RIGHT??
— Mehran Khaghani (@MehranX) November 9, 2016
Never underestimate crazy.
— Paul Provenza (@PaulProvenza) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/796260988798406658
https://twitter.com/JenaFriedman/status/796263500373000192
Wow
— Jeff Ross (@realjeffreyross) November 9, 2016
This proved one thing, entertainers, writers, & bloggers have absolutely no influence on politics in any way. Stick with cock and fart jokes
— Junior Stopka (@Juniorstopka) November 9, 2016
RIP rights ?
— Krystyna Hutchinson (@KrystynaHutch) November 9, 2016
I don't know if I can sleep tonight or ever.
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) November 9, 2016
https://twitter.com/RonFunches/status/796275030610972673
Dear @HillaryClinton:
I know you probably won't see this, but thank you. I love you. I'm sorry.
— rhea butcher (@RheaButcher) November 9, 2016
I can't believe this is real…. THIS is about to become our reality! #Wtf #DuhMerica https://t.co/TV0UnqQAQn
— Russell Peters (@therealrussellp) November 9, 2016