Why Are Stores Across the Country Locking Down their Stock of Tide Detergent!?


No, this isn’t the Onion reporting.  We checked, read the story again, and rechecked to see if this was just a joke.  But it’s not a joke–  there is a nationwide Tide Crime Spree taking place all over the country.  And nobody is exactly sure why, but there have been reports of thieves loading up carts with the liquid detergent and dashing out the door.  Okay, we’ll admit, we still think this story is fake, but here’s what’s being reported:

  • In Minnesota a man has been accused of stealing $25,000 worth of Tide over a few months.
  • It is reportedly being traded for drugs according to investigators in Maryland.
  • “There’s no serial numbers and it’s impossible to track,” said Detective Larry Patterson of the Somerset, Ky., Police Department, where authorities have seen a huge spike in Tide theft. “It’s the item to steal.”
  • “These are criminals coming into the store to steal thousands of dollars of merchandise,” said Detective Harrison Sprague of the Prince George’s County, Md., Police Department, where Tide is known as “liquid gold” among officers.
  • “They’ll do it right in front of a cop car — buying heroin or methamphetamine with Tide,” said Detective Rick Blake of the Gresham Police Department. “We would see people walking down the road with six, seven bottles of Tide. They were so blatant about it.”

You can read more at the33tv.com or abclocal.com or nj.com or citybeat.com and so on.

53 Comments

  1. OptichrisPrime

    March 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    My job has been paying me in tide for months! My buddy traded a hooker a bottle of Tide cut with Wisk for a BJ in AC last weekend.

  2. CamfromToronto

    March 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    I can’t imagine this is accepted currency in the Hicks household…

    • dirk_lance

      March 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

       @CamfromToronto i gotta think that hicks would trade any laundry/hygiene products for a pack of cigarettes…

  3. pipeloader

    March 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    ts, maybe these guys need to clean up their act, or somethin, ts, ts

  4. Riverguy

    March 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    Ever since Billy Mays died and Oxyclean with him the world has gone to hell!

  5. Riverguy

    March 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Check out that woman from ‘Unusual Addictions’.  she probably spawned a cult following.

  6. bmqq316

    March 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Maybe a high school kid needs them to store beer in because he promised Emma Stone he’d get it for her party.

    • pipeloader

      March 13, 2012 at 2:04 pm

      everytime he drinks out of that jug, i get skeeved out.  you know that beer is soapy

      • bmqq316

        March 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

        Bet that beer has one hell of a head on it.

  7. Cletus from Brooklyn

    March 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    It’s only going to be a matter of time before they figure out that the only thing you really need is the container. Then fill it with any cheap brand.

  8. Katmandu mis-spelled

    March 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    I’d take a whole bottle of Viagra to hear Karen orgasm

  9. Shinemonkey

    March 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    I blame NASCAR

  10. ShoutOutDesign

    March 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Damnit. I invested all my money in Snuggle and now I’m finished.

  11. Fufurfmly

    March 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Brilliant marketing campaign!

  12. ElectricDave

    March 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    There all Bama fans

  13. Katmandu mis-spelled

    March 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Maybe it’s more like Superbad tide

  14. cigarsNscotch

    March 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Drug dealers are using it to launder their money.

  15. Shinemonkey

    March 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Ancient Chinese Secret

  16. OptichrisPrime

    March 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    its actually being called “Liquid Gold” by law enforcement agencies and dealers who accept it as payment for drugs.

  17. Katmandu mis-spelled

    March 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    I believe that you can buy this with food stamps and buy drugs

  18. maxxcorbin

    March 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    Blow up the moon….that will get rid of tide.

  19. cigarsNscotch

    March 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    The Tide is high but I’m holding on.

    • OptichrisPrime

      March 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

       @cigarsNscotch Beat ya to it 😛

      • OptichrisPrime

        March 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

         @cigarsNscotch Damn! I didn’t 😛

  20. OptichrisPrime

    March 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    “The tide is high…i’m holding on!”

  21. Norwalk Ralph

    March 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    They call that shit blue gold in the hood

    • OptichrisPrime

      March 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

      There are friggin videos online of people stealing & selling it!

  22. PorkRoll

    March 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    Ever do a line of Tide?

  23. SH4RKYx

    March 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Yeah just sounds like bullshit

  24. Katmandu mis-spelled

    March 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    A bottle goes for $30

  25. SH4RKYx

    March 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Or maybe some dealers are breaking it down some how and using some mix of ingredients from it. ???

  26. SH4RKYx

    March 13, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    nm

  27. Norwalk Ralph

    March 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

     the cops said the crooks were caught blue handed… or somthin..tss.tss

  28. b_cham

    March 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    ROLL TIDE!

  29. SH4RKYx

    March 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Vote Jimmy Tide 08!

  30. Dee_Dee_Ramone

    March 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    They’ve all made clean getaways

  31. Dee_Dee_Ramone

    March 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    They’re WISKing it right out the door

  32. Dee_Dee_Ramone

    March 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Crimering around the collar

  33. Gripper

    March 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Well, the green capped bottle does say ‘free’ on it.

  34. schadenfreudian

    March 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    This is clearly part of a money laundering scheme.

    • MikekWackbag

      March 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

       @schadenfreudian 
       
      Boo!

  35. tattedup80

    March 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Stole Tide Stole

  36. MikekWackbag

    March 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

  37. shrekkalove

    March 13, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    I didn’t know poor people washed their clothes.

  38. jerkstoresean

    March 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    I suspect Nascar is behind this

  39. TyWanon

    March 13, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I heard they are cutting it with Cough Syrup…..a Real Clean Meth High

  40. Johnny Dickshot

    March 13, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    The irony here is that OWS has found a way to put soap into their bodies without getting any ON their bodies. Hipster douchebags are going to make my cleaning products illegal. They took my bath salts from me!!! My bath salts for Fluke’s sake!!!

  41. TyWanon

    March 13, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    I heard they are cutting it with Cough Syrup for a real High Tide

  42. The Real Big Ed

    March 13, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    It’s a tidal wave of crime! Who will clean up this mess?  Who will blot this stain on the country? How can we stem the tide of criminality?  Is money laundering involved? Is somebody being taken to the cleaners?  I gotta million of them, just like these ones, here…

  43. TyWanon

    March 13, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    For Fuck Sake, thanks for stealing my handle–they all want to “Tide One On”

  44. Yuuuck

    March 14, 2012 at 12:33 am

    Shenanigans.  

  45. Purpleguy

    March 14, 2012 at 1:57 am

     What is money LOIN-DER-ING