No, this isn’t the Onion reporting. We checked, read the story again, and rechecked to see if this was just a joke. But it’s not a joke– there is a nationwide Tide Crime Spree taking place all over the country. And nobody is exactly sure why, but there have been reports of thieves loading up carts with the liquid detergent and dashing out the door. Okay, we’ll admit, we still think this story is fake, but here’s what’s being reported:
It's a tidal wave of crime! Who will clean up this mess? Who will blot this stain on the country? How can we stem the tide of criminality? Is money laundering involved? Is somebody being taken to the cleaners? I gotta million of them, just like these ones, here...
The irony here is that OWS has found a way to put soap into their bodies without getting any ON their bodies. Hipster douchebags are going to make my cleaning products illegal. They took my bath salts from me!!! My bath salts for Fluke's sake!!!
its actually being called "Liquid Gold" by law enforcement agencies and dealers who accept it as payment for drugs.
It's only going to be a matter of time before they figure out that the only thing you really need is the container. Then fill it with any cheap brand.
Maybe a high school kid needs them to store beer in because he promised Emma Stone he'd get it for her party.
My job has been paying me in tide for months! My buddy traded a hooker a bottle of Tide cut with Wisk for a BJ in AC last weekend.