For months, a battle has been raging between comedians Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. The two friends have been engaged in one of the comedy industry’s most legendary fat-offs for about two months, with both comics making some serious changes to their daily routines in order to see who will forever be known as the fattest of the two. Well, Segura and Kreischer’s contest officially came to an end this week on a special two-part Joe Rogan Experience episode, and we can now definitively say that yes, Bert Kreischer is fat.
What was at stake? Their beards and a trip of their choosing. The deal was that whoever won got to keep their beard and would get a paid trip to wherever they wanted, courtesy of the loser. The loser had to shave their beard off, which is a point of pride for both of these guys. Here’s the kicker: If both comics managed to get their BMI out of the “obese” category, then comedian Ari Shaffir (who originally proposed the two have a contest) would have to pay for trips for the both of them.
As it turns out, Segura and Kreischer both weighed in a few pounds under their goals, so Shaffir will have to pay up to send both to their preferred location, which is looking to either be Paris or Houston, Texas for the Super Bowl. Ultimately, however, Segura ended up losing a total of six pounds more than Kreischer, earning himself the honor of shaving off his friend’s beard. That video is below (the shaving begins at 2:41:30).
Here is the aftermath: A new and improved Bert Kreischer, assuming you interpret looking like a child molester who works at the local grocery store to be an improvement.
Hey guys- it's Bert Kreischer!!! pic.twitter.com/d6AdusZAcP
— bert kreischer (@bertkreischer) January 4, 2017
The two comics joined Rogan on his show to have their official weigh-in conducted by a neutral party, and to give a little backstory on how the competition kicked off. Fans of Segura’s podcast, Your Mom’s House (which he does with his wife/fellow comic Christina Pazsitzky), may remember that the whole thing kicked off when the comedy couple first saw the film Welcome to New York starring French actor Gérard Depardieu, who the couple agreed looked like Kreischer due to his “totally bloated, distended, big booze-body.” This led to the couple encouraging their fans to ask Kreischer on Twitter “Why are you so fat?”
Who knew a simple question could blow up into so much more?
The Your Mom’s House fans took the request a little too much to heart, and what the hosts thought would be a few harmless tweets turned into hundreds of people on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and just on the street trying to get down to the bottom of why, exactly, Bert was so fat. The meme lasted for months, with Segura and Kreischer constantly insisting that the other was fatter. Shirts were made, hashtags were started, Kreischer was called fat multiple times on daytime television; it was all-out war.
That months-long rivalry finally boiled over into a full-blown competition in early November when Ari Shaffir proposed that the two compete to see who could lose the most weight. The rest, as they say, is history.
Day one and two of the weigh-ins are both great episodes; the three are all close friends who have a great rapport with one another, and the conversation goes everywhere from weight loss and the UFC to pellet grills and crazy fans on Twitter. Head on over to Rogan’s YouTube channel to watch both episodes (all six and a half hours worth!) in all their high-def glory.