The Only People Worse than Prison Inmates are Prison Guards

Inmates in a North Carolina prison are alleging that guards made them rub habanero hot sauce on their genitals, and the correctional officers are being investigated. Six inmates wrote a letter detailing humiliating acts they say guards forced them to perform including pretending to have sex with one another. They also allege they were forced to throw rabbits into traffic and kiss snakes when on work details. Inmates who complied were rewarded with beer and cigarettes.

Some of the accused guards are currently on leave as the investigation happens. How bored could these guards of been that they needed inmates to rub hot sauce on their dicks?



  1. brushmonkey

    December 3, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    God Bless America, the shining city on the hill

  2. SpiralOut

    December 3, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    says the show that god davey mac to rub hot sauce on his asshole…

  3. filler

    December 3, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    why would you make someone rub hot sauce on their dick?

    • Shaggyballz74

      December 4, 2012 at 6:32 am

      @filler repressed gays

  4. neechah

    December 4, 2012 at 3:12 am

    That’s a spicy a meat a ball a

  5. Beer

    December 4, 2012 at 5:01 am

    I miss Dave….

  6. galactictraveler

    December 4, 2012 at 6:58 am

    Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time! Don’t do it, don’t do it !

  7. Cletus from Brooklyn

    December 4, 2012 at 7:23 am

    Either to tired or dumb to realize that, how bored could these guards of been, should be, how bored could these guards have been…

    • Dash Riprock

      December 4, 2012 at 8:51 am

      I’m too tired to tell Cletus that it’s too tired, not to tired.

  8. ediblegenius

    December 4, 2012 at 7:36 am

    my schizophrenic  cousin wrote me a letter from prison once, it was a drawing of a hundred people in a crowd with one guy standing above them all talking, in the corner of the paper he wrote ‘this is what its like in my head’…good ole cousin nathan

  9. Docintoxicated

    December 4, 2012 at 9:06 am

    So what other nuthut stories isn’t Fez telling us?

    • DeathProof

      December 4, 2012 at 9:19 am

      @Docintoxicated Yeah, like he actually went to the nut hut!

      • Docintoxicated

        December 4, 2012 at 11:11 am

        @DeathProof Well “donut” does sound like a made up name…..

  10. Punk0

    December 4, 2012 at 9:09 am

    I heard this story about a year ago. Only it was about Terry Richardson and models/actresses, and the beer and cigarettes were actually meth and heroin.

  11. Pool Keepers Son

    December 4, 2012 at 9:27 am

    No wonder McAvey is on the run

  12. BadNewsJeff

    December 4, 2012 at 9:27 am

    My cousin Percy is a guard there.  I hope he’s not involved in any shenanigans.

    • SpeedKills

      December 4, 2012 at 11:00 am

      @BadNewsJeff I thought he ended up getting locked up in the nut hut. Fez, did you happen to see him?

  13. FanBoy1

    December 4, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Maybe it was in the tranny population and they were trying to burn the gay off?

  14. jerkstoresean

    December 4, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Using Franks Red Hot to make Red Hot Franks

    • drikulus

      December 4, 2012 at 3:29 pm

      @jerkstoresean I didn’t want to like it but it made me laugh as I scrolled by… I LOL’d

  15. Aria Taint

    December 4, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Awful lot of gay shit happen. Fez you mad or turned on by this story?

    • Delcomark

      December 4, 2012 at 10:36 am

      @Aria Taint I doubt it, this didnt happen in Russia…

  16. SpeedKills

    December 4, 2012 at 10:58 am

    “Sex for Sam Quentin”

  17. John in va

    December 4, 2012 at 11:09 am

    I actually worked at powahton correctional prison for 2 years.. in central Virginia from 2007 to 2009. I didnt care what they did as long as they stood for count.. so i could go home.

  18. Stanley Kubrick MacDonald

    December 4, 2012 at 11:10 am

    What happens at Abu Ghraib, stays at Abu Ghraib.

    • Recyclerz

      December 4, 2012 at 12:21 pm

      @Stanley Kubrick MacDonald
       Yeah, not so much as it turned out.

  19. Scott_Chandwater

    December 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    my my, how “correctional”

  20. drikulus

    December 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Part of me kinda thinks shit like this should happen to some of the fucking animals we have locked up. Problem is; lots of people locked up who are locked up aren’t necessarily animals.

  21. Tbone1120

    December 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Gay is always funny

  22. declinometer

    December 4, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Stay out of prison and you won’t have to worry. Easy spleezy.

  23. sodaman

    December 4, 2012 at 8:12 pm

    sounds like a saturday night at my sisters house

  24. Chris from Detroit

    December 4, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    What’s the problem? They got some beer n smokes out of the deal. What a bunch of whiney bitches!