The 10 Most Presidential Things Donald Trump Said in His Announcement That He’s Running


Trump

Donald Trump also known as Donald T. Rump has officially announced that he is running for President. It’s an exciting day and it was an exciting and inspiring speech. Here are the 10 Most Presidential Things he said.

“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”

“Saudi Arabia without us is gone. They’re gone.”

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people who have lots of problems (which include) drugs and being rapists.”

“I’m using my own money. I’m not using lobbyists. I’m not using donors. I don’t care. I’m really rich.”

“I like China. I just sold an apartment for $15 million to someone from China. Am I supposed to dislike them?”

“I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and I will make Mexico pay for that wall.”

“Obama’s going to be out playing golf. He might even be on one of my courses.”

“I beat China all the time. All the time.”

“Nobody will be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump.”

China “has bridges that make the George Washington bridge look like small potatoes.”

“People say, Mr. Trump, you’re not a nice person. But actually I am.”

 

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Dan Perlman is a stand-up comedian and writer from New York City. Dan performs regularly at Stand Up NY, New York Comedy Club, Comic Strip Live, and alternative rooms across the city. He has performed in comedy festivals in Brooklyn, Memphis, and Dallas. In 2013, Dan was named Comedy Contributor for Neil deGrasse Tyson’s popular StarTalk Radio show. He co-founded, writes, and stars in the web series, Moderately Funny. Dan also works as a Sketch Company Writer for the Off-Broadway theater group, On The Rocks. Currently, Dan hosts and produces a monthly storytelling show, Hindsight, at Stand Up NY Labs. He also appears regularly on SiriusXM’s Ron and Fez Show. Visit danperlmancomedy.com for more.

6 Comments

  1. laterday jk

    June 16, 2015 at 1:56 pm

  2. Captain Geech

    June 16, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    And if he fucks up, he will just file bankruptcy and have us taxpayers bail him out one more time.

  3. CakehornJr

    June 16, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    Captain Geech Bankruptcy, I do not think it means what you think it means.

  4. Captain Geech

    June 16, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    CakehornJr Captain Geech it was a poorly executed dig at his ease of using bankruptcy as a bailout while running on the Replubican ticket which, historically, fucking hates welfare/bailouts. All completely fueled by little sleep and a massive headache after celebrating the Cup last night.

  5. FreddytheGreek

    June 16, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    laterday jk  Maybe they should have linked to this one.  It’s better.

  6. FLpro

    June 17, 2015 at 1:12 am

    “We want the Trump…Gotta have that Trump”