Straight Men, Gay Looks


Our biggest movie stars have never had a problem attracting women.  They are rugged, strong and ready to swoop in and save the lady in distress.  But even our most hetero-heroes sometimes come off looking a little bit– well– what we used to call light in the loafers. You know, a friend of Dorothy. We’re talking gay.  These leading men prove that even our most masculine movie stars can show off  a little flair.  Here are some of Hollywood’s favorites caught with their hetero guard down.

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#1.  John Wayne with a handbag and camel toe.

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#2. Marlon Brando gives us the wet twink off-the-shoulder look.

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#3. Clint Eastwood demonstrates the short shorts workout.

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#4. Liam Neeson: A little denim and a bare ass on the rocks.

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#5. Steve McQueen, working out and teasing the V.

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#6. Gary Cooper is a gay dream and a PETA nightmare.

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#7.  Don Cheadle’s finger sucking cowboy look.

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#8.  Harrison Ford. It’s Indiana Jones and the Bikini of Doom.

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#9. Mark Wahlberg. This is the guy who turned down “Brokeback Mountain”!?

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#10.  It’s Bear on Bear with Burt Reynolds

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#11. Hey Burt Lancaster, nice bush!

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#12.  What makes Arnold look gayer!? The seductive tighty whitey pose or Franco Columbu in his bed!?

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#13.  Jean-Claude Van Damme Strikes a Pretty Pose

 

102 comments
SAUCE BOSS
SAUCE BOSS

Van Damme is French so that doesn't count

bobneedsmoney
bobneedsmoney

Short shorts on Clint? Has it been so long that people forget thats what shorts used to look like on men? This is just Fezs wet dream because they all remind him of his father except they were really men.

Christene Mcculloch
Christene Mcculloch

Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that.

SLEEPYDOG
SLEEPYDOG

You mean just gay guys right

cal5000
cal5000

Its fitting that Fez can discuss Gay Theory instead of actual gayness. 

Goonerfan
Goonerfan

Thank goodness this isn't gay, I'd have a hard time explaining my erection if it was.

FLpro
FLpro

Dammit Fez, you know you're wrong for this! I feel like I'm getting "gayness" pushed upon me and I don't own any Banana Butt Lube!!?

Oprahs moose knuckle
Oprahs moose knuckle

The duke doesn't have a camel toe, he has a moose knuckle. I've been waiting a year to mention a moose knuckle in a post.

bmqq316
bmqq316

Is the Duke sporting camel toe?

The RandF Workhorse
The RandF Workhorse

This would be the mother load of JO material for Fez, unfortunately they are all over the age of 18.

BadNewsJeff
BadNewsJeff

How about a NSFW for christ's sake?!  A co-worker just walked by and I'm nose-deep in Burt Lancaster's bush!

lunatic_fringe
lunatic_fringe

The FBI could probably arrest you just for clicking on this gay ass thread. 

CozmikKen
CozmikKen

Brando straight? Two words. Wally Cox

CozmikKen
CozmikKen

I heard this homophobic guy on with Ronnie B do a bit where he accused straight Hollywood movie stars of looking gay.

RichKoski
RichKoski

I didn't know naked was gay.

jerkaruso
jerkaruso

I'm certain Van Damme is gay

LizSetsFire
LizSetsFire

If fez wants to bring the 3:00 snack back why didn't he just say so?

SkoobaDoo
SkoobaDoo

Count so far... 7 "basically's" and 3 "what we have's"

Bane1198
Bane1198

Jebes Christ..................

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

The only reason he left off Jack Palance is because he saw the jack jokes in advance.

DeathProof
DeathProof

Red rose tea! Red rose! Red rose!

Recyclerz
Recyclerz

I feel a little uncomfortable looking at Fez's jack material.  Does that mean I'm a homophobe?

filler
filler

the 2:00 yeeeeuuch!

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

I know Fez put a lot of work into this list, but I don't think it's going to hit home with a lot of listeners.

Rich from Buffalo
Rich from Buffalo

geez, fez...isn't pointing out that someone looks gay stereotyping homosexuals?!

edrooney
edrooney

None of these F-words are F words?

LizSetsFire
LizSetsFire

This should have been named Fez's wishlist.

queenelisabeth
queenelisabeth

I'm sorry but McQueen doesn't look gay..ever ever ever

SkoobaDoo
SkoobaDoo

Fez isn't doing very well with this live read.