St. Petersburg is the Saddest City in the Country!? How Sad Is It!?


Men’s Health Magazine recently declared the hometown of Fez Marie Whatley to be America’s #1 Frown Town.  The study was based on suicide rates, unemployment rates, number of households using antidepressants, and polls recording number of people feeling down.  The result?

We put America on the therapist’s couch and discovered that not only is St. Petersburg our Saddest City, but Florida in general seems to be a depressing place to live.

Of course, this information shed’s new light on our Fezzy Brown Cartoon.  So we decided to have a whole new caption contest, so you can tell us, why is Fezzie Brown, (and all of St Pete) so sad?

***

CONGRATULATIONS TO Adam Patterson, who won the  caption contest with his submission, “All our dads died!”  Adam wins a copy of Physics of the Future, autographed by the author, Dr. Michio Kaku.

 

241 Comments

  1. Nigel Mitchell

    December 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    St. Petersburg Sucks and Heather Mills has one leg!

  2. Jeff3883

    December 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    I am sad that this drawing is so bad!

  3. ManOSteel

    December 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    I don’t why everyone is so sad doc….there’s SOOOOOO much cock around here to stuff in your ass!

  4. Davec

    December 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    St. Pete is sad, but it’s nothing compared to what happened in Tampa……..Fez

  5. Sean

    December 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    I was turned Down by Earl, can you believe that? Earl!

  6. Queen Elisabeth

    December 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    I hear everyone in St Pete saying “Cookie Cookie” I swear to God…

  7. ManOSteel

    December 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I just don’t understand why everyone is so sad doc, There’s SOOOO much cock around to stuff in your ass!

  8. Bartndr

    December 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    Why am I paying Pepper dressed as Lucy $400 to be my shrink??

  9. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I have to sit down to shower and all our furniture is on cinder blocks!

  10. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    I’m so sad to know theres going to be hundreds of the same comments on here.

  11. Ajdayton

    December 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    There’s not enough football watching twinks who don’t want any sex.

  12. Fghjhkhj

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    How can a man jerk off to Loony Tunes without any palms?!

  13. Davec

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    People in St. Pete shouldn’t be that sad, look on the bright side…..they could have hands like me

  14. Seanmc1712

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Because the throw back jerseys remind me of my dead father, makes me sad.

  15. Sean

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I can’t believe it Doc. Its been 7 days and I still did not get my Pizza. Pepper better Suck my Dick and get fired.

  16. Pigford Stuyvesant

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I cover my apartment with towels, and I cover those towels with my own farts.

  17. Daflashg18

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I live on the cheesy under-ridge of America’s Wang.

  18. ManOSteel

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    why is everyone in Florida so depressed??? I mean after all, it IS a stand alone sate.

  19. Chris R

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    Doc I have fudge pack fever!!!

  20. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    I don’t understand doc, it’s so much harder to have sundowners in St. Pete. Why am I so sad?

  21. Kevom88

    December 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Trent Dilfer is Coming Back!

  22. Guyerson

    December 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    My brother Corky snorts lines of Oxy this long.

  23. Xander6402

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    It’s so sad because Fez isn’t here

  24. Daigimor

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    The hose pressure is so high.

  25. bk_brad

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    At least it’s not Russia!

  26. Jake

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Because it’s named after a giant Peter?

  27. Johnny Post

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    No matter what you’re doing you gotta know Anastasia and her family were killed here.

  28. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    I was there, I was queer and no body wanted me.

  29. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Im so sad, if someone request freebird one more time…

  30. Lady Trucker

    December 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    You get paid in sunshine. That doesn’t pay the mortgage.

  31. Holly

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    All the Buccaneers games are blacked out and I can’t snuggle with my special someone to watch the games.

  32. Kevom88

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    It’s tough to cuddle on a futon !

  33. Brian

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    There’s seven dicks in my ass…..but there is no room for more 🙁

  34. Jake

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Doc, why are these knots on my face?

  35. Kwelt2

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    I like sports and I don’t care who knows

  36. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    That $400 could have gotten me a whole lot of Oxys and young Cuban cock.

  37. Xander6402

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    It’s so sad because when the Bucs aren’t blacked out we get to watch them lose

  38. Ecupirate

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Everyone should be happy, Fez is not punching retards in the stomach and everyone has Oxys

  39. Schrogasm

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Sometimes I feel like I’m the only stand-alone fruit.

  40. Ray

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    The hose pressure is so high

  41. JasonFromCT

    December 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Seriously, I can’t believe I make that much money either.

  42. DevastatingTruth

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    How would you feel if you were named after a fat, black woman.

  43. ShawnAustere

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Saint Pete is sad? more like Zito’s gay.

  44. jloneblackheart

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Driveway prison showers in front of the neighbors

  45. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    It made me Fez

  46. nonputty

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    St. Pete’s awesome. Pelicans and the elderly, what’s not to love?

  47. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    St Pete’s sand causes the most cases of anal corrosion in the United States…

  48. TC

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    St Petersberg? More like St. Pennisberg.

  49. Andrew

    December 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Because Fez is their biggest celebrity

  50. Johnny Post

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    I’ll wait for Ron to suggest whats upsetting me

  51. Lady Trucker

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Speedos on fat old farts. Count those age spots!

  52. ManOSteel

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    I know i still owe you a little more doc, but lemmee look around on the ground because my pop usually helps me out when i’m short a few bucks.

  53. kylwhitlock

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    because what everone thinks happened in Tampa actually happened in St. Pete.

  54. Drunkpostman

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    I’ve been wearing this shirt for 15 days and nobody has noticed

  55. Daly_llama

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Two words: Ass hosings

  56. Marducci

    December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Because it lost the wonderful, beautiful, virginal: Fez Marie Whatley. Pepper likes balls.

  57. Andrew

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    no matter how hard I scratch i can never rip my brain out

  58. JasonFromCT

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Why do I have a black censorship bar for a mouth?

  59. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    GOLF

  60. Manning, Esq.

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I guess it’s because St. Peter denied his friend, lost his friend, then became the namesake of a shitty wrestler, The Rock. Oh yeah, it’s also God’s Waiting Room, so, you know, it smells.

  61. Raw Julius

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Good grief, he dropped his pants and it was “this big”!!!

  62. Gunner

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I can’t find anywhere to tie up my Lego horse. That makes me sad!

  63. Joe Cal.

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    I’m sad knowing that talented East Side Dave is not working for SiriusXM and I steal a check weekly.

  64. Dennis Birch

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    All the psychiatrists are working on one guy………

  65. Jake

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    St. Pete? More like Old Meat!

  66. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    St. Petersburg flag is rainbow! How can I be this sad?!

  67. kylwhitlock

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Everyone who lives there has had their ass hosed out by an abusive father.

  68. Ralph

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    I just want to cuddle with someone and watch the Bucs lose in my parent’s basement. But they dont have a basement and I have only one parent!!

  69. STLBlake

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Its depressing. Peelers everywhere and I’m half a fag…..

  70. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Saint Pete has made my enlarged heart this big! Styling and Profiling! Woooo!

  71. steve

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    St. Pete is the stand alone city

  72. shinemonkey

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    High concentration of old retired Jews

  73. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    How am I supposed to do anything when I have to get over that Skyway?!

  74. Elite1576

    December 8, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    St. Pete is so sad bc we all wanna be the
    stand alone fruit..

  75. Michael R Lukacs

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    You want SAD? Try being a Cleveland Browns fan!!

  76. Kwelt2

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    I went to Sawgrass Lake Park…is it a lake…is it a park…who am I

  77. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    Juicy Lucy and the Bearded Clam….

  78. ROGER LOGAN

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    More strips clubs than anywhere in the world……………what a waste!

  79. Pigford Stuyvesant

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    Well, Lucy, if I worked for the Post, I might say “St. Pete Beat: Replete With Defeat, Can’t Compete…Bearded Queens Retreat.”

  80. CbsFan

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    Two Sad Citys Monday Nights Cbs 8:30pm

  81. Chris-tron

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    “look at the sky doc, there’s no fucking clouds in St. Pete, it’s retarded hot out here”

  82. @DeepSpceMoonRox

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    I’m so depressed because I look like sir Anthony Hopkins from outbreak. And I have monkey aids.

  83. Greg Morrison

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    St. Petersburg? More like My Peter’s Turgid.

  84. shinemonkey

    December 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    Why do I have two sets of ears

  85. Theverm

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    St Pete is so sad because he was replaced by St Ringo.

  86. Geno_86ed

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    I’m telling you Doc, the perpetual rotten crotch is killing me.

  87. Jfmulhern23

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Russian Counterpart said “Nyet” to sister city festival

  88. Homer

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Lots and Lots of Homeless people

  89. Splooge

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Shit you could buy a house in Detroit for $1000 cash ….Columbus, OH $10,000 cash. Go Buckeyes

  90. Fin1fan

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    The Gay community in St Pete is called So Ho Mo

  91. JerkstoreSean

    December 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    Ready for my oven mitts, Doc

  92. Dottie

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Mas Venus more like Fez’s Penis..

  93. Uncle Glenn

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Because Todd changed his name and moved to “Jew York.”

  94. Mojohand41

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    I once caught a fish thissssss big….okay..that’s a liie…sorry…I’m such a loser, Ronnie…sigh…

  95. Peteypete35

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    St. Petersburg sucks and Syracuse swallows!!!………young boy cum

  96. Mike

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Saddest st pete hs football team and the swim team is over rated.

  97. JerkstoreSean

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Zito’s ass hole is THIS deep!

  98. Bigfish1104

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    St. Pete is the saddest city because the didn’t bother polling Detroit.

  99. JerkstoreSean

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    I paid 400 dollars for therapy and all I got was this gay t shirt

  100. Batterd

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    When it Rains it Pours in St Pete

  101. slippy

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Fuck men’s health! Broke dick’s weekly and AARP voted the St. Pete the meatloaf capital of the world!

  102. ROGER LOGAN

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    NO TIM TEBOW!!!!!!!!

  103. Moose

    December 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Hey bitch, you got my $400, This dick isn’t gonna suck itself

  104. S-manvey

    December 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    TThis is all Colin quinns fault

  105. Mjoyce52

    December 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Who has two thumbs and is from the saddest city ever. THIS guy!

  106. James Napier

    December 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Two words- Ocxy shortages.

  107. Geno_86ed

    December 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    St. Petersburg – Pedophile Paradise

  108. Riekd

    December 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    The fish arent biting

  109. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Why can’t Gasparilla be more like Fantasy Fest?!

  110. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    I just wanted to cuddle and this is what I got in the end. Ouch.

  111. Dked

    December 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Brown people cut my grass and clean my pool = white peps problems

  112. Notkevinsmith

    December 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    Realization it’s responsible for unleashing Ska music on the rest of America.

  113. FamousToMyself

    December 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    … and the condo we bought for $160K in Tampa is only worth $45K now! …shit

  114. HarryT

    December 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Sometimes it smells like cum outside.

  115. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Seriously, it’s a town named after the Galilean that not only denied our Risen Lord and Saviour 3 times, he was also crucified upside down.

  116. Bmay185

    December 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    I just can’t take looking like George Carlin any longer

  117. Dennis Birch

    December 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Ron cowboys and aliens doesn’t suck!

  118. Stoney

    December 8, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    If you go to the beach its mandatory you get your ass hosed out at least once in your life in st pete

  119. LizSetsFire

    December 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Frown town? More like brown town.

  120. Jdogg

    December 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    All I want doc is football and cocks…. And maybe a man with 5 fingers

  121. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    I need a St. Pete meet and skeet.

  122. Lowbrow Banana

    December 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    “Hey whore, do we have to be in the exact same pose every session? What’s up with that?”

  123. Geno_86ed

    December 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    St. Pete – where Medicare and Meth keep our economy afloat.

  124. Thelyonhart

    December 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Its depressing to live in the shadow of the cultural and artistic Mecca that IS Orlando!

  125. Beastie333

    December 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Clearwater?… More like sad queerwater..

  126. Shock cock

    December 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    I heard the homeless zombies in detroit and cleveland are boarding busses to St. Pete right now.

  127. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    St Pete Red Lobster serves clam and cock for 4.99

  128. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    St. Pete. More like St. Shit

  129. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Some guy named Corky keeps fondling my corgi

  130. Seanmc1712

    December 8, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    St pete just sucks ass!

  131. Geno_86ed

    December 8, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    Don’t forget St. Pete, NAMBLA still love you!

  132. Mattro53

    December 8, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    It’s the stand alone city.

  133. Eric

    December 8, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    You’d be sad too if you lived on a giant penis.

  134. TFor3

    December 8, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    People continually try to force cake on you.

  135. Cletus from Brooklyn

    December 8, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Of Course St. Pete is depressed. Sexy Fez is here!

  136. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Opie says St Pete is sad because it sucks a mans hairy cock

  137. Hankinsmatt8

    December 8, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Constant fear of cane pole attack

  138. Forrest Jaramillo

    December 8, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    I’d be sad too if I only had 8 fingers.

  139. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    I thought robbery involved a mask?

  140. Sak300zx

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    There’s nowhere to get a quality sandwich around here.

  141. DownFaith

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    St. Pete is the sandiest ass of the united states

  142. Corporate owned

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Heaven’s waiting room.

  143. Spanoman

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Mirror Lake has no coke on it

  144. Roboto

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    Welcome to St. Pete, you’re going to die here.

  145. Drew O'Drew

    December 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    I am a stand alone fruit.

  146. Nilsgrin22

    December 8, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    center pieces and lettuce wraps

  147. ZeroCool

    December 8, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    I got to go on Sprint airlines tomorrow and I’m not sure if its going to explode like this, Kaboom!

  148. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Between MS13, the Bloods and the Cane Poles, the gangs are just out of control

  149. ManOSteel

    December 8, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Who cares why everyone is so depressed! Pecker Lips should be ashamed for making prizes so EASY TO WIN!

  150. Fin1fan

    December 8, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    Petersburgh means town of penis

  151. Djari

    December 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Florida is in the shape of a penis.

  152. JALKINIT

    December 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    The bridges in St. Pete are terrifying!

  153. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Famous St Petersburg motto is COCK COCK COCK COCK SHIT

  154. Rusty

    December 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Shaq retired and Tiger Woods weeps in his compound

  155. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    That’s why they’re burring me in Northern Virginia

  156. BoarsHeadRob

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Tent City? More like, I wish my dick was shitty!

  157. Mark Zito is STILL a Twink!

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    You’ve heard of apples & oranges? I’m a stand alone blueberry in a land of oversized oranges.

  158. Monkeyhouserockz

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Lettuce wrap this up I have a driveway hosing scheduled

  159. Wesley Shears

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    St Pete? More like Tamp 2: Electric Boogaloo

  160. Kyle

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Yes, good doctor. St. Pete. is the saddest city in America because if of a high suicide rate and high antidepressant use. Now, please give me my Zoloft, Paxil, and Effexor so I can go home and sit in my apartment all day long and think about how I sad I am.

  161. KimFromTpa

    December 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    There’s no night life. Everything closes at 9pm except strip clubs & pharmacies.

  162. Qpacc

    December 8, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    Play some Skynard.

  163. Stoney

    December 8, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    St Pete is in the middle of the ocean

  164. Blake Olt

    December 8, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    If your city was named after the Saint that was the “Chief of the Apostles” you would be scared of sex too !

  165. Dan Farley

    December 8, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    It’s the most useless wart on the dick of America, Florida. Makes St. Petersburg, Russia look like Vegas on ecstacy

  166. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Why is it doc that everyone who lives in St. Pete dies sooner ot later?

  167. Theblakeri

    December 8, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    St. Pete is quantumly entangled to its Russian twin

  168. Jbalser

    December 8, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    the cost of living is high, and the people are cruel, the weather is humid, and i am sick of hurricanes. the mentality down here sucks, and there is no beauty. florida is not a pretty place to me as people have said. this is not the type of place for the young to live, plus the women here are backwards and very superficial. there is is no good wages here compared to the north, so northerners, please do not complain about what u get paid there where u are, because here the immigrants get the work, and they work for nothing. the rent is ridiculous from central fl. to the florida keys. and just because u have a degree doesn’t mean very much here. with this big boom in co-op living here, the one who is wanting to rent will be looking for a place for sometime, or at least waiting on one! the hiv/aids rate is staggerring here, and the healthcare sucks. this is truly a retirement state. when u are ready to die, choose another place to do it. i’m outta here, no doubt, and never will return, ….ever! and crime, it’s here like any other place, but it’s all about how u deal with it.

  169. James Napier

    December 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    We have to drive across a giant bridge that was knocked over by a boat once.

  170. Shapopo Joe

    December 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Smokey Mountain Cabin could be a new name for your asshole…nuff said

  171. Shock cock

    December 8, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    The embarassment of having JOE BUCK as your “hometown-famous-guy” is just as unbearable as his sportscasting… somebody kill me if Fox carries the next world series.

  172. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Do I get a finger in my ass with that $400?

  173. Monkeyhouserockz

    December 8, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    I had a homo-queer-cicle this big and washed it down with deadman soup

  174. Jrw789

    December 8, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    I keep saying that st Pete would happier if our oranges were this big
    But nobody listens

  175. Colormekaren

    December 8, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    seriously, who could enjoy tampa when you can visit the smoky mountains!?

  176. Guest

    December 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Is the big ass prize closet where Fez likes to hide???

  177. JerkstoreSean

    December 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    I have been Roofied and mouthfucked, but no one takes the time to cuddle

  178. Brendan

    December 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    St Pete- BIRTHPLACE OF THE GREATEST NUMBER OF MISERABLE MILLIONARES!!!!

  179. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    Albert Pujols and CJ Wilson didn’t sign with the Rays.

  180. SAVAGE

    December 8, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    I need a pill to cure my Virginity

  181. Chip

    December 8, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Why can’t Men’s Health just stick to articles about getting tight abs!

  182. Monkeyhouserockz

    December 8, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    The smoky mountains are what I call my butt cheeks after a good rogering

  183. Monkeyhouserockz

    December 8, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    I only cuddle with guys who’s dicks are this big. When I say cuddle I mean sit on it

  184. Shock cock

    December 8, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    The day Joe Buck was birthed from his mom’s sloppy ass the town of St. Pete died and baseball fans were doomed to horse shit commentary. THE CARDS JUST LOST PUJOLS YOU FUCK! HAAAA HAAAA!

  185. Jake in fl

    December 8, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    Because some asshole decided to film “Then He Farted Cum” in my neighborhood and killed the property values…. Thanks

  186. Monkeyhouserockz

    December 8, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    I’d like to suck cock but my mouth is shaped like a coin slot

  187. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    St Petersburg has no ice cream only homo queercicles

  188. PJA

    December 8, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    St. Petersburg is so sad cause all the sports teams are named Tampa

  189. Mojohand41

    December 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Well, Doc… I got a white beard, I have panic attacks, and I’m a virgin…..why can’t I meet someone to cuddle with at football games?

  190. Mojohand41

    December 8, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    I once ate a lettuce wrap thissssss big….and then they all laughed at me.

    • Bobbyinlasvegas

      December 8, 2011 at 2:56 pm

      Are you that isn’t a giant orange?

  191. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Help!!! I am scared of the big long bridge!

  192. Mojohand41

    December 8, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    ..so there we were, trapped together in a Smokey Mountain Cabin…snowed in until spring…no food…no supplies…I knew what I had to do: Eat my cuddle pal…fortunately I had plenty of BBQ sauces, as he wasn’t a standalone fruit…

  193. gurga

    December 8, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    St. Pete stole’d my damn Foamposits!? Who’s your man here!?

  194. Guest

    December 8, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Fez, “The sucklord is in studio, too bad studio is key word for my asshole”

    • Guest

      December 8, 2011 at 1:52 pm

      Oops, was supposed to be “isn’t”

  195. Shock cock

    December 8, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    St. Pete = Fuck Shit Fart Cunt.

  196. Bmqq316

    December 8, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Rocksiecotton

  197. Herbin' Housewife

    December 8, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    St Petersburg. Translation: St Dick Town

  198. Tom Cassino

    December 8, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Tampa/St pete is the winter home of the circus.. and everyone knows clowns are the saddest people

  199. 75

    December 8, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    St. Petersburg…More Like Taint Peter Mud.

  200. I am no one.

    December 8, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Since when did KathleneBX become a psychiatrist? I thought she had more fingers than that.

  201. Jeff3883

    December 8, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    I am sad in St. Pete because UCB Fred thinks Charlie Brown has only 4 fingers. He obviously has never seen a Paenuts comic!

  202. Eastcoastfinish

    December 8, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    It s so sad because kenny powers never showed up

  203. S-manvey

    December 8, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Thr sucklord is doing all the drugs and corky is having withdrawl induced seizure now

  204. Queen Elisabeth

    December 8, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Doc~I can’t help it…St Pete is know as “Lock up Town”

  205. Guest

    December 8, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Fez, – “I just saw a picture that UCB Fred drew of bonnie mcfarlane. Too bad her tits look like hands”

  206. Holly

    December 8, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Since Terri Schiavo died Pinellas Park just hasn’t been the same

  207. PC

    December 8, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    I am only sad every day.

  208. Bmay185

    December 8, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    And the Cane Pole Gang sodomized me with a stick this big…..and the real trauma was the loss of my Icee

  209. PWS

    December 8, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Oh my god, my left arm is 30% shorter than my right arm, and my fingers look like little tiny baby wombat cocks!

  210. Marcsailor

    December 8, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Why so sad? Why so gay?

  211. Jason From Jersey

    December 8, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    AND THEN RON FARTED SO LOUD THAT IT WOKE UP EVERYONE IN THE ROOM

  212. Cletus from Brooklyn

    December 8, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    …and it had 8 nipples!

  213. Scot Desort

    December 8, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    my favorite part of this is the cartoon of Fezzie 🙂

  214. EdFromJersey

    December 8, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    The sadness trickles down from Pinellas Park

  215. Anonymous

    December 8, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Why is Pigpen’s cloud of filth engulfing my head? Oh wait, thats how UCB Fred draws hair.

  216. 7-iron

    December 8, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    when i was this big uncle sandusky used to take me on trips..i remember my butt used to hurt and my breath smelled like chlorox..can you tell me what that means????

  217. lilshcmuck

    December 8, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    good grief, bad grief…nothing but grief, whaaaaaaa!

  218. Serani

    December 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Having a right thumb like this would make anyone want to kill themselves

  219. shrekkalove

    December 9, 2011 at 12:50 am

    I was feeling good fa la la la la.

  220. Adam Patterson

    December 9, 2011 at 2:38 am

    “All of our dads died!”

  221. Whitey Brown

    December 9, 2011 at 3:14 am

    Is that asking too much!? I just want stay in, nest on couch and watch the Bucs!

  222. Anonymous

    December 9, 2011 at 4:28 am

    My name is “Fez”… why doesn’t the drawing include me wearing a fez!?

  223. JP

    December 9, 2011 at 7:37 am

    Lucy, you’re just like all my other shrinks – so happy to take my money. I can’t understand why I’m not getting better.

  224. Jare215th

    December 9, 2011 at 10:28 am

    My dad hosed my ass out at the Florida Holocaust Museum

  225. Jare215th

    December 9, 2011 at 10:46 am

    But that doesn’t leave me enough for oven mitts for my trip to Derby Lane!!

  226. shrekkalove

    December 9, 2011 at 10:50 am

    It’s too late for me, but I really want to try to save Holly.

  227. PJA

    December 9, 2011 at 10:55 am

    St. Pete is so sad because Ron Bennington left.

  228. shrekkalove

    December 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

    I should have gone to Japan.

  229. ShowerBench

    December 9, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    The only time I feel normal is at the Dali Museum

  230. ShowerBench

    December 9, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    I don’t know why I can’t get out of bed now..My childhood was enchanted – weekly visits to the Webb’s City cafeteria, vacations at the North Shore dime beach and Sunken Gardens….

  231. Eric Begue

    December 9, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    “It really is a…stand…alone…fruit!?!?!?”

  232. j.peters

    December 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    ZITOOOOO!!!!

  233. Lowendmadness

    December 9, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    “You’d be sad too if you looked like a gay George Lucas!”

  234. Bushdpm

    December 9, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    none of the girls who like to snuggle up watching football have dicks

  235. clever nick name

    December 9, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Fresh cut grass and semen smell the same, I don’t know which one I’m always smelling when I go to St Pete

  236. Snickersdad40

    December 10, 2011 at 12:57 am

    I would ask you to be my cuddle buddy doc, but you keep yanking the damn ball away before I can kick it.

  237. Anonymous

    December 10, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    The people in St. Pete just need to learn that Oxy is not an antidepressant!

  238. Bob

    December 11, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    i love ron and i cant tell him

  239. Earthdog

    December 14, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    I miss the Biffles!!