Break Out the Matzoh! Spiderman is a Jew!


'The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise Of Electro' Berlin PremiereAndrew Garfield, who plays Spider Man in the rebooted film franchise, told Time Out Magazine that Spiderman is probably Jewish.

“Spiderman is neurotic…Peter Parker is not a simple dude. He can’t just switch off,” Garfield told Time Out. “He ums and ahs about his future because he’s neurotic. He’s Jewish. It’s a defining feature.”

“He’s an over-thinker,” Garfield said. “He never feels like he’s doing enough. And Peter suffers from self-doubt.”
“I hope Jewish people won’t mind the cliché because my father’s Jewish. I have that in me for sure,” Garfield said.

This changes everything. The Green Goblin comes off as a huge racist now.  Here’s the new theme song, sung by fan, Andy in Cleveland.

Here’s the shortlink for sharing: http://tinyurl.com/m373jvd


 

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19 comments
tost
tost

Fuck Andy in Cleveland.

Stilltryingregardless
Stilltryingregardless

Hey, somebody check where Andrew Garfield was when Bryan Singer was supposedly manfingering that 17 year old boy.  Revert everything back to its source ASAP!

Badger1225
Badger1225

Maybe he's just projecting who he is into the character.   

loandinasor
loandinasor

Talk amongst yourselves.  I'm verklempt.

BadNewsJeff
BadNewsJeff

"He's an over thinker"..."Peter Parker is not a simple dude"...  "He's Jewish". 


I'm not Jewish.  Does that make me stupid?

AndyInCleveland
AndyInCleveland

(Sung)

Spiderman, Spiderman,

Ehhh does whateveh YOU think he can.

Spins a web, keeps us safe.

But he neveh touches treif!

Lecheim! Nice boy that Spiderman.

Is he strong? What's he bench?

Spider sense makes him a mensch!

All the bad guys he annoys,

Even loves shiksas and goys.

Oy vey! Here comes the Spiderman.

Through Manhattan's streets,

He will passover you! (Get it?)

Such a kosher treat,

He's a real super jew!

Spiderman, Spiderman

You should be more like Spiderman.

Stops the villain in his tracks,

Always calls his mother back!

Lecheim! Whenever someone's not nice!

He'll put the bad guys on ice!

He always gets the right price!

Here comes the Spiderman!!!

Busy1
Busy1

His web shooters are dreidel driven.......

AnthonyLoman
AnthonyLoman

I don't buy it, he grew up in Queens, not  Midwood or Borough Park, plus he went to some shitty public school not Yesheiva. 

CigarsAndscotch1
CigarsAndscotch1

His parents were disappointed that he didn't grow up to be a "Doctor" Octopus.

CigarsAndscotch1
CigarsAndscotch1

Is he strong? Listen Bub, he drinks Palestinian baby's blood.

CigarsAndscotch1
CigarsAndscotch1

His "spidey" senses tingle every time he hears a stock tip.

Vickroy
Vickroy

Dafuq outta here! Mary Jane Parker was a shicksa (sp?) and I don't remember any sort of discussion about either one converting.

Rerand
Rerand

Does this mean Hitler was really just intensely arachnophobic?