12 Signs You Could Be Alone on Valentine’s Day

Does it feel like everyone has a Valentine’s day plan but you? Do you hate being alone while everyone else crams into overstuffed restaurants with hiked up prices and standardized specials? Are you afraid you’ll miss out on romantic strolls and movie dates and other “fun”?

Here are 12 Signs you could very well be alone on Valentines Day…

…you’ve full filled all your conjugal visits
…the FBI may have traced your cell phone
…Bill Cosby cancelled as your ‘wing man’
…turns out women are actually skeptical about trunks
…spent too much time balancing a goat on a stick
…was totally counting on the Ted Cruz Dance Social
…have yet to finish digging the well in the basement
…in your world ‘no’ means…not enough chloroform
…threw your back out ‘moving mother to the attic’
…have yet to make the distinction between a ‘date’ and a ‘hostage’
…gets harder to find bags of lime this time of the season
…a restraining order…is a restraining order

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