Presidents in Pop Culture: What We Saw and What We Didn’t
Last week, President Obama made headlines when he appeared on “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis,” the Internet comedy series on “Funny or Die.” Public reaction was predictably divided. The Huffington Post reported that the president’s “Ferns” appearance “upset older Americans (and) Republicans)” who felt it was a “waste of time” and beneath of the office of president. Younger Americans and Democrats were generally in favor of the appearance.
Obama’s plunge into a so-called low-brow pop culture forum to pander for votes isn’t unprecedented (or “unpresidented”). Several sitting presidents have sought unconventional ways to reach out to the masses and show their human side, in an effort to convince Americans that they aren’t ruled by a string of soulless sock puppet whores, beholden to massive corporations.
We found four presidents uncomfortably pandering for votes in the pop culture sphere, and four tragic missed opportunities that might have changed American history, had only a clever strategist come up with the idea.
THE PANDERING WE SAW
Bill Clinton Live Sax Show, 1992.
Bill Clinton could never become the first Black president without winning the endorsement of 1990’s African-American kingmaker Arsenio Hall. When Clinton appeared on “The Arsenio Hall Show” in 1992, he brought the heat, laying out a smooth jazz saxophone performance that left a hot-and-bothered America wondering whether or not Little Rock’s favorite son was sporting boxers or briefs. Bill proved to be all too willing to answer that question, one sexy lady constituent at a time.
Nixon’s “Sock it To Me”, 1968
During the moments when a barely clothed Goldie Hawn wasn’t wiggling provocatively,“Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In” sketch comedy show featured its popular “Sock It To Me” routine, where an assortment of people with strange accents would get bashed in the head and women would have their dresses pulled off revealing their slips; imagine “Hee-Haw” with less panache and wit. A bug-eyed Nixon appeared in a cut-away, delivering the signature “sock it to me” line with the same questioning tone your grandpa would use when asking how to use the TV remote.
This Month’s Centerfold: Jimmy Carter, 1976
These days, too few presidential hopefuls take the time to shoot the breeze with editors of wank mags. But Jimmy Carter knew the importance of reaching out to the nation’s masturbators. Carter softened America’s collective hard-on in 1976 when he appeared in Playboy magazine in a sit-down interview with Hugh Hefner himself. In the uncomfortably candid interview, Carter admitted to “look(ing) on a lot of women with lust” and “committing adultery in (his) heart.” Such admissions are enough to sink a presidential campaign, right? Nope. Carter beat out Gerald Ford to win the presidency. What can we say? It was the 1970s. Hell, your folks were doing coke and swinging at key parties, and untamed pubic hair was the largest growing domestic product.
George W. Bush Had His Heart Set On Double Dare, 2008
In 2008, a decorated Army captain was competing on “Deal or No Deal.” Host Howie Mandel told the contestant that someone had a special message for him, then threw it to a pre-recorded message from President George W. Bush, whose visage appeared on the big screen, like a cross between Max Headroom and an Orwellian Big Brother. Bush, whose approval rating was hovering around 30 percent, cracked that he was “thrilled to be anywhere with high ratings these days.” Wait a minute … those were Halliburton briefcases the models were holding, weren’t they?! It all makes sense now.
THE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES THAT COULD HAVE CHANGED HISTORY
John Tyler: Hit Me Up On My Telly(graf), 1844
On May 24, 1844, Samuel Morse transmitted the first message by telegraph, “What hath God wrought,” which was transmitted from Washington to Baltimore. As far as first messages go, we admit “What hath God wrought” is pretty strong, right up there with “One small step for man.” But had the beleaguered Tyler – still smarting in the court of public opinion after marrying a 24-year-old woman at the ripe old age of 54 – thought to throw a few bucks towards Morse, the very first telegraphed message could very well have been “Vote Tyler.” “Honest John” could have invented political junk mail.
Buffalo Bill and Randy Rutherford, 1878
One of the rallying cries for the 1876 presidential election was “Choose the Least of the Two Evils” – seriously. Rutherford B. Hayes beat out Democrat Samuel Tilden, ostensibly establishing himself as “less evil.” The teetotaling, wealthy Hayes never truly connected with the American public. But what if he had made a guest appearance on one of the popular “Wild West shows” of the era? Rutherford could have done some sharpshooting, appeared on horseback, or done some lasso tricks to win over the good ol’ boys and try to make them forget he was a filthy rich aristocrat whose wife had banned liquor from the White House. Get’r’done, Rutherford.
Benjamin Harrison, Man’s Man, 1889
On July 8, 1889, bare-knuckle pugilist John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain in a 75-round contest, lasting two hours and 16 minutes. The epic bout captured America’s attention. Harrison was not only America’s shortest president (listed at a generous 5-foot, sic-inches; he was the Doug Flutie of presidents), but was also the president who was afraid to turn off the electric lights in the White House for fear of being electrocuted. In other words, he wasn’t the manliest POTUS we’ve ever had. But had Harrison aligned himself with Sullivan as a corner man, hype man – hell, even if he wore hot pants and pranced around the ring holding up cards between rounds – he would have been seen as more manly and more electable. Maybe then he wouldn’t have depleted the Treasury’s surplus with the McKinley Tariff Act; you know, classic Little Man compensatory over-spending .
Warren G. Harding Sings “My Mammy,” 1922
America’s 29th president just wanted a return to “normalcy.” He was a small-town guy who cherished small-town values. Unfortunately, he didn’t hire well. Several of Harding’s political appointees, including Attorney General Harry Daughtry and Secretary of the Interior Albert B. Fall, were embroiled in scandals. With America questioning his leadership abilities, what better way to win over the “folks on Main Street” than by doing a little blackface number with America’s top minstrel act, Al Jolson? If he’d have slathered on the shoe polish and sang out a few verses of “My Mammy,” perhaps he wouldn’t have dropped dead of heart failure in the midst of his term. Nothing dispels the stress like a minstrel show. Just ask Ted Danson.
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