Not Enough Room in the Lifeboat: WWE Headliners


 

The WWE Ship is Sinking and Uh Oh, There’s Only Room For 3…

Just imagine. Four WWE Headliners, all on one ship. But oh shit, the ship is sinking. Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock  are about to go down with the ship. There’s a lifeboat, but there’s only room for three of them. Which headliner doesn’t get a seat?

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89 Comments

  1. FezLineOfTheDay

    November 8, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Stone cold E. T.

  2. LizSetsFire

    November 8, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Can you smeeeeeeeelll the salty water? Beat it rock.

  3. DeeDef

    November 8, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    you can’t have hulk on this boat he’s the babe ruth of wrestling.

  4. filler

    November 8, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    whaaaaaat!

  5. Cletus from Brooklyn

    November 8, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Never was a fan of the hulkster…

  6. shrekkalove

    November 8, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Drown Dwayne.

  7. LizSetsFire

    November 8, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Can I kick all of them out and pick up Jeff hardy?

  8. Pool Keepers Son

    November 8, 2012 at 2:06 pm

    I never could understand what the giant was sayin

  9. queenelisabeth

    November 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    fuck the Hulkster with an iron stick

  10. SpongeSteve

    November 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Where is stone cold ET?

  11. Marty in Toronto

    November 8, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Seriously we don’t need no needledick Hulkster in my boat.

  12. Xacjed

    November 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Kick me all out and make way for some adult material.

  13. C H

    November 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    The Rock is a tool.

  14. SpongeSteve

    November 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    “This is really hard” – fez, definitely not talking about his dick.

  15. HoneydewWilkins

    November 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Easy, Andre. Unintelligible, immobile, incontinent.

  16. Xacjed

    November 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    I wish we didn’t have o talk bout wrestling for the next 4 minutes.

  17. c_ocobean

    November 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Andre the giant was one cool french dude-Do you smell what the sea water is cooking? off with the Rock

  18. georgiadawgsie

    November 8, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    if you throw andre off, there will be more room

    • Narc Zito

      November 8, 2012 at 2:19 pm

      @georgiadawgsie If you throw ANYONE off, there will be more room.

  19. C H

    November 8, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Koko B. Ware was better than all four.

  20. memeseeker

    November 8, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Andre, great for the freak factor but you could never understand wtf he was saying in interviews.

  21. archg2

    November 8, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Stone Cold takes a cold shower in the ocean.

  22. AaronInDunedin

    November 8, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Steve Austin can only stay if he is wearing an E.T. mask

  23. justForRon0Fez

    November 8, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    who could actually give a FUCK about this!?

  24. madtowntom

    November 8, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    toss them all to Rosies rainbow cruise

  25. Nicholad

    November 8, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Sorry, Andre. You need Austin, Rock and Hulk. Even though Andre was a major player like the other three,  if he never came along, I don’t think it would of hurt the business that much.

  26. c_ocobean

    November 8, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    I’m pretty sure Andre the Giant was one of those Japanese brothers who can drink the whole sea, then follow it up with a 7 bottles of burgundy and 30 cases of PBR

  27. WolfNJ

    November 8, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Based solely on film roles, Hulk goes.  I at least like one film by each of the other 3.

  28. AnthonyLoman

    November 8, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Andre is a mush mouth monster that can’t work a mic. See you in hell you leotard wearing ape.

  29. harlequincy

    November 8, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    no Shawn Michaels?

  30. jerkstoresean

    November 8, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Bye Andre. I don’t need you drinking all my beer

  31. LizSetsFire

    November 8, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Chris Benoit threw everyone out of the life boat.

    • Narc Zito

      November 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

      @LizSetsFire He’s keeping them in tow with a phone cord, though.

    • jerkstoresean

      November 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

      @LizSetsFire Can’t leave him in charge of the lifeboat. Tosses everyone out then jumps out himself

    • TheEuropean

      November 8, 2012 at 2:33 pm

      @LizSetsFire Shot them first though.

  32. tfor3

    November 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Andre goes.   Great force but no mic skills no wrestling skills.  Until the Hogan push he was midcard at best

  33. ElectricDave

    November 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Can we kick Fez out of the life boat? He is ruining the show. He has to be the only radio show host in history that 80% of his audience is against him

    • AnthonyLoman

      November 8, 2012 at 2:18 pm

      @ElectricDave  Sam Roberts is pushing 100 percent on the after show.

    • jerkaruso

      November 8, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      @ElectricDave Boo hoo.

  34. Narc Zito

    November 8, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Stone Cold is safe, because without him, we never get Stone Cold ET.

  35. HoneydewWilkins

    November 8, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Don’t forget, the lifeboat is actually the Thunder in Paradise boat so it can’t be Hogan

  36. DeathProof

    November 8, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    These pricks wouldn’t last 5 minutes at a Madball show!

    • LizSetsFire

      November 8, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      @DeathProof they’re too bulky for spin kicks.

      • DeathProof

        November 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

        @LizSetsFire  @DeathProof It’s all about insane cart wheeling now. Fuckers straight up do tumbling now!

  37. Steve_in_Tampa

    November 8, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    Legitimate film star?  No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, all masterpieces of modern film.

  38. ecupirate

    November 8, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Bye Big Cock HOgan

  39. Brobocop

    November 8, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Gotta be The Rock. Hogan and Andre put WWE on the map at Wrestlemania III. Without Stone Cold there would be no Rock. Rock only really carried the WWE for a few years when Austin left. The Rock never really defined a generation of wrestling.

    • HarvesterOfSorrow

      November 8, 2012 at 3:51 pm

      The Rock carried the WWE just as long as Austin did. 2000-mid 2002, he was the guy. Austin was late 97-99. And you don’t need Andre for Wrestlemania III. That Mania was about Hogan’s star, and you could’ve built an angle with someone else and it would’ve been huge, too. Andre didn’t define any era, either. And he’s easily the least talented of the 4. He’s got to go. The Rock stays.

  40. DeathProof

    November 8, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    What adult watches wrestling? I never had even a slight desire to watch it as a child.

  41. Necks

    November 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Because Andre is dead!

  42. declinometer

    November 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    This topic again! So sad!

  43. jerkstoresean

    November 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    I’d tell The Rock to skip on outta there!! Lololololol

  44. Gunner

    November 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    I think we should torpedo the life boat.

  45. Ray in Pittsburgh

    November 8, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    I’d jump so I wouldn’t have to put up with the other assholes.

  46. Narc Zito

    November 8, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    I blame Sam Roberts for the demise of the AFRO Show.

    • DeathProof

      November 8, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      @Narc Zito Let me just say there have been plenty or ARO shows….just saying.

  47. bioinsegnante

    November 8, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    Why do I seem to be the only one who wants to throw Stone Cold out?  Andre and Hogan are legends and the Rock is the only true star that has maintained a career outside of wrestling.  What has Stone Cold done aside from shotgun beers inside the ring?  He’s a loser and he’s ejected!

  48. Xacjed

    November 8, 2012 at 2:31 pm

    I liked the Rock in Be Cool. Never saw him wrestle though. I was an adult by then.

  49. DeathProof

    November 8, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    If all of the lifeboat bits were on a life boat this one would be thrown out first.

    • John in va

      November 8, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      @DeathProof ammem.and sams voice fuckkin sucks and is awefulll

    • turfgrass64

      November 8, 2012 at 6:16 pm

      @DeathProof that right there is line of the day!

  50. jloneblackheart

    November 8, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Hulk goes. I bet the others have the common sense to not eat like a pig before fucking their friends wife.

  51. Blind Trucker

    November 8, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    What if there were 4 seats, but Rick Flair was also there?

    • ecupirate

      November 8, 2012 at 2:34 pm

      @Blind Trucker throw all these fucks off and Flair gets the boat to himself

  52. BadNewsJeff

    November 8, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Looking at Hulk makes me want to eat hot dogs.  Does that make me gay or a canibal?

  53. FLprodivider66

    November 8, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Let them just have a Gay-Off!

  54. The RandF Workhorse

    November 8, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Gotta be Andre, no charisma and no mike skills.

  55. SeanAXP

    November 8, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    here it is, if you’re saving people, you gotta save those that would make an impact today. Andre has no real talent, just huge. The “sport” is far more athletic, and Andre couldn’t handle it

  56. John in va

    November 8, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Sam shut the hell upp cant standd ya

    • notbubba

      November 8, 2012 at 2:39 pm

      @John in va
       jealous ma’fuckas be hatin

      • John in va

        November 8, 2012 at 2:40 pm

        @notbubba not jealous hes a waist of time on the air….

      • notbubba

        November 8, 2012 at 2:40 pm

        @John in va  you shoulda been a fart

      • John in va

        November 8, 2012 at 2:41 pm

        @notbubba wth does that even mean.lmfaoo

      • notbubba

        November 8, 2012 at 2:41 pm

        @John in va
         get your own fuckin then stupid

      • notbubba

        November 8, 2012 at 2:43 pm

        @John in va  your dad shoulda pulled out and came on your mom’s tits and then farted…that’s what that means

      • John in va

        November 8, 2012 at 2:44 pm

        @notbubba how old are you and what year is this lmfao lmfaoo….

      • notbubba

        November 8, 2012 at 2:46 pm

        @John in va  you want my dna too ya creepy ma’fucka… fuck off. Sam’s the future of the channel. get used to it stupid

  57. Tonyboy3

    November 8, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    Andre isnt a headliner who made this list? It sucks! Should have been Hulk Austin Rock & Savage

    • HarvesterOfSorrow

      November 8, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      @Tonyboy3 I bet Andre was the guy Fez told Pepper to put in.

  58. BigMike2012

    November 8, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Andre your big ass is swimming. Can’t have no giant tard sinking the ship.

  59. HarvesterOfSorrow

    November 8, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Fez and Sam’s reasons for keeping Andre instead of Rock are asinine. Andre wasn’t the first major attraction in wrestling. Gorgeous George was before him. Sammartino was before him. The only major impact Andre made was Wrestlemania 3, but you don’t need Andre the Giant to make Wrestlemania 3 possible. That was all about Hogan. The 3 biggest names in wrestling history are Rock, Austin, and Hogan. There’s no debating that. Andre has to go. Besides, like someone else said, you put Andre into any era after the one he was in and he’s not a major draw. Rock, Flair, and Austin are the 3 greatest because they could fit into any era. Hogan adapts better than Andre, but not as well as the others. He was hype. He’s not a great talent, but he still gets to stay because he’s better than Andre.

  60. SarahMcSmokeyPants

    November 8, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    I’ve never watched wrestling so I’m gonna need to see tape of the other 3 banging Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife before I can make a decision.

  61. K Dubya

    November 8, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Andre goes.
     
    He was big, that was about it. The others had charisma and mic skills.

    • Foggy_Otis

      November 9, 2012 at 9:34 pm

      @K Dubya I’d keep Andre just for being in The Princess Bride!

  62. fitzyMFNcent

    November 8, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    did Fez do his Andre the Giant impression?

  63. galactictraveler

    November 9, 2012 at 1:36 am

    Can we send the entire WWE on a cruise and torpedo the ship !

  64. Derwood OMalley

    November 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Get a life – LifeBoat is a thoughtful analysis of talent.  Wrestling is just stupid, mindless Bull Shit.

    • SkilledDayLabor

      November 9, 2012 at 10:35 pm

      @Derwood OMalley HEY MOTHERFUCKER WRESTLING IS… oh wait, you’re right

  65. JonnyKozicz

    July 19, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    Why would anyone vote of Andre?! He was always business first like Austin and the Rock and hogan was always more worried about him being top guy. Hogan took his ball and left when he was supposed to put over Bret Hart after WM9 for the title and never did before he left. He is in business for himself and the others knew that the business is first.