Not Enough Room in the Lifeboat: WWE Headliners


 

The WWE Ship is Sinking and Uh Oh, There’s Only Room For 3…

Just imagine. Four WWE Headliners, all on one ship. But oh shit, the ship is sinking. Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock  are about to go down with the ship. There’s a lifeboat, but there’s only room for three of them. Which headliner doesn’t get a seat?

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84 comments
JonnyKozicz
JonnyKozicz

Why would anyone vote of Andre?! He was always business first like Austin and the Rock and hogan was always more worried about him being top guy. Hogan took his ball and left when he was supposed to put over Bret Hart after WM9 for the title and never did before he left. He is in business for himself and the others knew that the business is first.

Derwood OMalley
Derwood OMalley

Get a life - LifeBoat is a thoughtful analysis of talent.  Wrestling is just stupid, mindless Bull Shit. 

galactictraveler
galactictraveler

Can we send the entire WWE on a cruise and torpedo the ship !

fitzyMFNcent
fitzyMFNcent

did Fez do his Andre the Giant impression?

SarahMcPants
SarahMcPants

I've never watched wrestling so I'm gonna need to see tape of the other 3 banging Bubba the Love Sponge's wife before I can make a decision.

HarvesterOfSorrow
HarvesterOfSorrow

Fez and Sam's reasons for keeping Andre instead of Rock are asinine. Andre wasn't the first major attraction in wrestling. Gorgeous George was before him. Sammartino was before him. The only major impact Andre made was Wrestlemania 3, but you don't need Andre the Giant to make Wrestlemania 3 possible. That was all about Hogan. The 3 biggest names in wrestling history are Rock, Austin, and Hogan. There's no debating that. Andre has to go. Besides, like someone else said, you put Andre into any era after the one he was in and he's not a major draw. Rock, Flair, and Austin are the 3 greatest because they could fit into any era. Hogan adapts better than Andre, but not as well as the others. He was hype. He's not a great talent, but he still gets to stay because he's better than Andre. 

Bane1198
Bane1198

Andre your big ass is swimming. Can't have no giant tard sinking the ship.

Tonyboy3
Tonyboy3

Andre isnt a headliner who made this list? It sucks! Should have been Hulk Austin Rock & Savage

John in va
John in va

Sam shut the hell upp cant standd ya

SeanAXP
SeanAXP

here it is, if you're saving people, you gotta save those that would make an impact today. Andre has no real talent, just huge. The "sport" is far more athletic, and Andre couldn't handle it

 

FLpro
FLpro

Let them just have a Gay-Off!

BadNewsJeff
BadNewsJeff

Looking at Hulk makes me want to eat hot dogs.  Does that make me gay or a canibal?

jloneblackheart
jloneblackheart

Hulk goes. I bet the others have the common sense to not eat like a pig before fucking their friends wife.

DeathProof
DeathProof

If all of the lifeboat bits were on a life boat this one would be thrown out first.

Xacjed
Xacjed

I liked the Rock in Be Cool. Never saw him wrestle though. I was an adult by then.

bioinsegnante
bioinsegnante

Why do I seem to be the only one who wants to throw Stone Cold out?  Andre and Hogan are legends and the Rock is the only true star that has maintained a career outside of wrestling.  What has Stone Cold done aside from shotgun beers inside the ring?  He's a loser and he's ejected!

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

I blame Sam Roberts for the demise of the AFRO Show.

Ray in Pittsburgh
Ray in Pittsburgh

I'd jump so I wouldn't have to put up with the other assholes.

Goonerfan
Goonerfan

I think we should torpedo the life boat.

jerkstoresean
jerkstoresean

I'd tell The Rock to skip on outta there!! Lololololol

Necks
Necks

Because Andre is dead!

DeathProof
DeathProof

What adult watches wrestling? I never had even a slight desire to watch it as a child.

Brobocop
Brobocop

Gotta be The Rock. Hogan and Andre put WWE on the map at Wrestlemania III. Without Stone Cold there would be no Rock. Rock only really carried the WWE for a few years when Austin left. The Rock never really defined a generation of wrestling.

Steve in Tampa
Steve in Tampa

Legitimate film star?  No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, all masterpieces of modern film.

DeathProof
DeathProof

These pricks wouldn't last 5 minutes at a Madball show!

HoneydewWilkins
HoneydewWilkins

Don't forget, the lifeboat is actually the Thunder in Paradise boat so it can't be Hogan

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

Stone Cold is safe, because without him, we never get Stone Cold ET.

ElectricDave
ElectricDave

Can we kick Fez out of the life boat? He is ruining the show. He has to be the only radio show host in history that 80% of his audience is against him

tfor3
tfor3

Andre goes.   Great force but no mic skills no wrestling skills.  Until the Hogan push he was midcard at best

 

LizSetsFire
LizSetsFire

Chris Benoit threw everyone out of the life boat.

jerkstoresean
jerkstoresean

Bye Andre. I don't need you drinking all my beer

AnthonyLoman
AnthonyLoman

Andre is a mush mouth monster that can't work a mic. See you in hell you leotard wearing ape.

WolfNJ
WolfNJ

Based solely on film roles, Hulk goes.  I at least like one film by each of the other 3.

c_ocobean
c_ocobean

I'm pretty sure Andre the Giant was one of those Japanese brothers who can drink the whole sea, then follow it up with a 7 bottles of burgundy and 30 cases of PBR

Nicholad
Nicholad

Sorry, Andre. You need Austin, Rock and Hulk. Even though Andre was a major player like the other three,  if he never came along, I don't think it would of hurt the business that much.

madtowntom
madtowntom

toss them all to Rosies rainbow cruise

AaronInDunedin
AaronInDunedin

Steve Austin can only stay if he is wearing an E.T. mask

archg2
archg2

Stone Cold takes a cold shower in the ocean.

memeseeker
memeseeker

Andre, great for the freak factor but you could never understand wtf he was saying in interviews.

C H
C H

Koko B. Ware was better than all four.

c_ocobean
c_ocobean

Andre the giant was one cool french dude-Do you smell what the sea water is cooking? off with the Rock

Xacjed
Xacjed

I wish we didn't have o talk bout wrestling for the next 4 minutes.

SpongeSteve
SpongeSteve

"This is really hard" - fez, definitely not talking about his dick.