Not Enough Room in the Lifeboat: Celebrity Chefs


The Celebrity Chef Ship is Sinking, and Uh Oh, There’s Only Room For 3…

Just imagine. four Rock Star Chefs, all on one ship. But oh shit, the ship is sinking. Gordon Ramsay,  Emeril Lagasse, Mario Batali and Bobby Flay are about to go down with the ship. There’s a lifeboat, but there’s only room for three of them. Which culinary super star doesn’t get a seat?

 

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68 comments
JonnyKozicz
JonnyKozicz

on recipes alone i have to kick emeril off.

G_SPOT_TORNADO
G_SPOT_TORNADO

emeril out, bourdain in. maybe he'll have some acid.

TheMeebs
TheMeebs

How bout we toss all these fuckers off and just bring Anthony Bourdain?

Rich G
Rich G

toss them all. much too pretentious for my liking

JayGrymyr
JayGrymyr

I voted off Flay. All four have restaurants here in Vegas, and they're all good, it's just that I don't think Flay is as good as the other three. Also, from what I hear, he's also the biggest jerk in real life (Ramsay's character is played up for TV, but he has his soft side).

mascan42
mascan42

Toss Emeril overboard.  Bam? More like Splash!

Nice Guy Eddie
Nice Guy Eddie

The UK version of Kitchen Nightmares is my favorite cooking related show ever, he's a great chef. The Chew guy gets my vote.

Basket_full_of_lotion
Basket_full_of_lotion

Emeril is off. The other 3 chefs know how to actually fucking cook. Emeril is excellent at running an infomercial. I can't believe 40 percent of you are kicking off a 3 Michelin star chef.

caseypickles
caseypickles

This is bullshit! Ramsay is getting a raw deal. I got bumped up to business class on Singapore Airlines and had Gordon Ramsay shortribs. They were terrific. Anyone who can make terrific airline food deserves a spot in the lifeboat.

YotaruVegeta
YotaruVegeta

I'm shocked that Ramsay got kicked. He definitely belongs on there more than Emeril. I love a fucking foulmouthed chef, and he whips horrific restaurants into at least some sort of shape.

Absurdist
Absurdist

I'd keep all 4 of these guys and strap the ever arrogant Alton Brown under the boat to add some buoyancy.

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

But can any of these guys make a forever cassarole with twinkies, spam, and spaghetti o's?

don d.
don d.

as a former chef...fuck that lady chef if your food sucks in the kitchen or if your slow, messy, disorganised etc... you are a shoemaker and should get the fuck off the line and you will get yelled at...fuck that chick go make your shitty mac an cheese an hotdishes for your yokel tourists...bye bobby only on experience....every chef ive met...massive respect for ramsey

harlequincy
harlequincy

Who wins in a tag match Ramsay & Legasse vs Batali & Flay?

DeathProof
DeathProof

I'm surprised they all haven't overdosed on coke yet!

DeathProof
DeathProof

Hey I can post again! I couldn't for three days!

c_ocobean
c_ocobean

wow! this was a good one. they can all cook their balls off. sorry Legasse

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

Hands down Emeril is out, he's by far the worst person on the list. Just look at his recipes and his lack of culinary no how. His pairings suck as well.

 

Bring me a real chef like Jacques Pepin and all these fuckers are off the boat.

 

Marco Pierre White would destroy all these guys (in fact ramsay and mario worked in his restaurants)

 

Of course you have to bring in Bourdain just for kicks, personality and taste in music wise he rules. 

MosquitoFarmer
MosquitoFarmer

Mario is a Whale and should not have a problem swimming.

Aria Taint
Aria Taint

How about Iron Chefs (Japanese version not US)

ElectricDave
ElectricDave

Marco Pierre White and Wolfgang Puck should be on this list

ElectricDave
ElectricDave

I think Rick Bayless did high end southwest food before Bobby

Aria Taint
Aria Taint

Fez was actually voting on who would less likely give him a hand job under a blanket.

 

J Bradley
J Bradley

Bobby Flay had that show where he showed up and tried to out cook other chefs for no reason other than to be a dick.

Bye Dick.

OP4
OP4

Someday when I'm rich, I could make this choice. 

ecupirate
ecupirate

Are the votes against Gordon because he is a cunt? well plays a cunt in his reality shows

p_eric
p_eric

Those horrendous shoes and befriending Gweneth are enough for me - see ya, Mario!

edrooney
edrooney

I ate at Eataly in August and it was terrific.  Cheerio Gordie Ramrod.

Aria Taint
Aria Taint

Those chefs on the Olive Garden commercials always look happy..

Bane1198
Bane1198

Ramsay is out. His head is too wrinkly. I wouldn't be able to eat.

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

I'd toss Joe Bastianich in a second.

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

Who has time to worry about the quality of the food when you're on a lifeboat?

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

I remember years ago when I was still a chef my friends (also chefs) and I had a game where we'd put on Emeril and drink every time he mispronounced the name of something. Tough game.

 

"ah got these lioness potatoes here and we're gonna soutay them"

John in va
John in va

@harlequincy wth did crazy jen disappear to. Last time i heard and talked to her was 2008 before my troubles started

DeathProof
DeathProof

 @Narc Zito There was some weird Java update that messed everything up here. Damn it Sun Micro Systems!

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

 @K Dubya  @harlequincy what about the ep where Emeril tells you the best flavors of pedialite and juicy juice to covert up the "gross medicine taste" of roofies?

OllieInChicago
OllieInChicago

 @ElectricDave  @Docintoxicated If you're talking about Grant, he is alive.  He did have some major health issues (carcinoma in his mouth), but has been cancer free for a few years now.  He has two great restaurants in Chicago: Alinea, Next and Aviary (bar).  If you're in Chicago and don't mind spending a ton of cash on dinner, check them out.