Never Ending Stories: The Worst Sequels From Classic Movies

Classic Sequels

It hurts when a great classic film gets a bad remake. We’d like to all pretend it never happened, but we can’t just erase them from existence. That sequel is out there now, forever. But if there’s one thing these unhappy sequels gave us, its the gift of appreciating the genius of their predecessors, and how difficult it is to create magic.  Sometimes just taking out one element, whether its an actor, a writer, a director, or a cinematographer, can change everything.  Even with the same artists on board for a second round, you might not be able to recreate that perfect collaboration.  Here are eight terrible sequels to eight truly great classic films.

terms

 

The Evening Star

Terms of Endearment is a kind of a special movie. If you read the synopsis, it would sound unbearably schmaltzy. But, in the hands of James L. Brooks and tart performances, the movie works despite all its melodrama. The Evening Star had no James L. Brooks and the movie was put in the hands of first time director Robert Harling, and lets his love of soap operas go wild (having written Steel Magnolias and Soapdish) but lacks the warmth a humor. Sure they were able to bring back Shirley MacLaine (and Jack Nicholson in what is essentially a cameo) but all that sassy has been replace with a grumpy old lady. The kids grew up to be a drug addict, young father and bohemian actress with apparently no relationship with their father who goes unmentioned. The new focus on MacLaine’s maid and her daughter’s best friend leads to lots of women bickering, while Bill Paxton beds MacLaine and Ben Johnson hangs around, in his last role.


 

last picture

Texasville

When Peter Bogdonavich directed The Last Picture Show, he cemented his place as one of the key figure in the New Hollywood revolution. The film is stark, moody, and ultimately a sad story about a dying town where the young need to escape. Then Bogdonavich made the comedy sequel…Texasville. Despite its attempts to make a more uplifting story about the town and people of The Last Picture Show, Texasville is a bummer to watch. Jeff Bridges, one of the genius actors of his generation, and Cybill Shepherd are that into their roles as former high school sweethearts (did anyone really have affection for that relationship). And supporting characters from the original are forced into the new film, including the bizarre appearance by Randy Quaid as wealthy Dwayne’s accountant (they had no relationship in the first film). Choosing to tell 50s set black and white slice of life as a 90s, TV quality production does Bogdonavich no favors in recalling the greatness and affection for the first film. But the biggest mistake made was arguably shifting focus from Sonny to Dwayne, relegating Sonny’s story to a sad descent into what appears to be early onset Alzheimer.


 

caddyshack

Caddyshack 2

Apparently, someone needs to keep Randy Quaid away from business offices. As if his accountant role in Texasville weren’t strange enough, his manic business manager in Caddyshack 2 is just terrible. But is there a decent moment when this lame rehash of the comedy classic without much of the humor about snobs vs slobs? May the Kenny Logan’s theme song? James Mason’s take on the new money rich man is one of his most annoying roles, Dan Aykroyd is doing a bizarre version of Rambo meets Carl the greens-keeper, and then they turned the golf course into a lifesize “mini-golf” course because…no one knows. But hey, at least that gopher is still adorable.


grease2 grease

Grease 2

Like Caddyshack, the original is a really entertaining film (with a bizarre ending) that might not stand up as a cinematic masterpiece. But Grease is certainly a modern classic and totally charming musical. The 80s sequel is neither. Despite a couple of catchy musical numbers, the movie is void of all the original’s charm, especially with the incredibly unlikable T-birds (Zmed?) and a really boring leading man. Essentially, this is nothing more than a gender swap of the original film set a decade late. At least it introduced audiences to the amazing Pamela Adlon…and a weird moment of Michelle Pfiefer straddling a ladder which foreshadows that scene in the Fabulous Baker Boys between her and a piano.


fever alive

Staying Alive

Musical sequels just never work (Funny Woman, Bring Back Birdie), but the sequel to the iconic disco musical Saturday Night Fever is on another level of bad. Nothing in this movie works and John Travolta essentially destroys his lovable loser character from the first film. Saturday Night Fever was about an aimless, working class 20 something living in Brooklyn. But apparently going over the Brooklyn Bridge to the big city of Manhattan made him into a douche bag who treats women like garbage. Add the over the top direction by Sylvester Stallone, a terrible 80s soundtrack, and overly long modern dance number created just to showcase the now muscular body of Tony Manero, and you have a 90 minute fever dream.


the freshman

Sin of Harold Diddlebock

This might be the biggest disappointment in the group. If you don’t know the silent film, The Freshman, you are missing one of the all-time silent comedies starring the comic who’s only rival was Charlie Chaplin. The living embodiment of the roaring 20s, his underdog make good character was beloved. And one of his biggest fans was Preston Sturges, who wanted to give the actor a comeback vehicle. But what he created was a bummer that hurt the nostalgic image people had of Harold. His sequel to the Freshman surmises that the underdog (a Rudy type) immediately fell into a dead-end job, never married, and then gets pushed out of his job. But the reason The Sin of Harold Diddlebock was such a disappointment was the fact that Harold Lloyd couldn’t keep up with Sturges’s fast dialogue, and Sturges wasn’t capable of directing Lloyd’s physical comedy. Ultimately Harold Diddlebock was not a comeback for Lloyd but his last on screen appearance and the film’s failure marked the downfall of Sturges’s career.


an american warewolf

American Werewolf in Paris

An American Werewolf in London was a visually impressive, clever, and profoundly sad horror comedy…this movie has none of that. Sure, Julie Delpy is in it, but even she doesn’t stand out as an asset in this unwanted sequel. Instead of good writing and make-up effects, this 90s teen horror film feels cheap, despite using early CGI effects, and remarkably overwritten and confusing story. The movie is a chore to get through, but if you do, it still makes no sense.


Carrie 2 and Carrie

The Rage: Carrie 2

Remember the trauma Sue experienced at the end of Carrie in that dream. Well, that didn’t have any lasting effects except she’s become deeply concerned about school bullying (personally, I would stay away from high schools after the massacre). But then she finds another Carrie in Rachel, Carrie’s half-sister who apparently get their power from their father (good to know). Like American Werewolf in Paris, this movie turns a classic horror movie into an uninspired 90s teen film. And while Carrie had an interesting take on feminism, school politics, and parental abuse, The Rage is just about teen revenge and early sexting (so many videotapes). And while Carrie was a sympathetic protagonist turned antagonist, Rachel is a pretty unlikable lead.

 

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Lesley Coffin is a feature editor for FF2media and has also written the books Lew Ayres: Hollywood Conscientious Objector (2012) and Hitchcock's Stars (2014), and currently writing a third book. Follow on twitter @filmbiographer for thoughts on movies and cat pictures.
Lesley Coffin
Lesley Coffin
Lesley Coffin is a feature editor for FF2media and has also written the books Lew Ayres: Hollywood Conscientious Objector (2012) and Hitchcock's Stars (2014), and currently writing a third book. Follow on twitter @filmbiographer for thoughts on movies and cat pictures.