Man Joins Mile High Club….With Himself

An 18 year-old girl has enlisted the help of Gloria Allred to sue United Airlines after they did nothing to stop a man from masturbating next to her. Well I’m sorry Madam, but some of us have our own ways of staying calm while flying in this post 9/11 world.



  1. Willie Nillie

    June 4, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    In other news , thousands of guys rubbed one out to the news girl in this clip .

  2. FLprodivider66

    June 4, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    This man clearly had a fetish for large farm animals!?

    • Willie Nillie

      June 4, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      Why was that girl not stowed in the cargo hold with the other animals

    • Willie Nillie

      June 4, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      They could move her because there were no more seats in her class. Is that jumbo class seating ?

  3. Mikfin

    June 4, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    Gloria Allred is a dumb cunt.

    • UptownDrain

      June 4, 2013 at 7:06 pm

      Mikfin I don’t know.  She seems like she’s really a lot of fun to hang out with.

  4. FSUfanboy

    June 4, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    What he said was “We don’t have a seat that fits you ass!”

    • Willie Nillie

      June 4, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      She’s a 20th century Ox

  5. Smoky Mountain Cabin

    June 4, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    Another frivolous lawsuit.  Couldn’t she just have taken this one on the chin?

  6. ecupirate

    June 4, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    Was this guy Redheaded and referred to everyone around him as Dogsy?

  7. Willie Nillie

    June 4, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    Come on now people,. Don’t blame the victim. That poor guy could have had an eight hour flight ahead of him or something . Cut the dude some slack .

  8. HIMcDunnough

    June 4, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    He worked off for the entire 6 hour flight? you gotta admire this guys stamina.  bravo, good sir.

  9. FinkM3

    June 4, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    if it was a girl masturbating then this wouldn’t be news, fuck off cunt

    • FinkM3

      June 4, 2013 at 7:00 pm

      what a fat cunt

  10. elephant_droid

    June 4, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    She was 17 at the time….story just got hotter.

  11. The Real Big Ed

    June 4, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    And here I’d always figured Davey Mac for an AirTran guy…

  12. Ronjon

    June 4, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Jack Hoffman strikes again. This leaves a stain on the airlines.

  13. Moe Green

    June 4, 2013 at 9:46 pm

    Just jacked to Mary Beth

  14. Docintoxicated

    June 4, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    To prevent future such incidents United will play audio of Gloria Allred’s shrill voice demanding to stay relevant as a media vampire sucking the life out of society.

  15. XTall

    June 4, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    She should have hit the man with her seat belt extension.

  16. Anthony From California

    June 4, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    She should consider herself lucky she found a man willing to take out his duck anywhere near her.

  17. Binary Daoist

    June 5, 2013 at 2:44 am

    Where’s the pic?

  18. galactictraveler

    June 5, 2013 at 6:42 am

    Why wasn’t she crated ?

  19. Aria Taint

    June 5, 2013 at 9:08 am

    If there’s anything we can learn from this is don’t use the airline blankets or pillows, there full of JIZZZZ

  20. GSE970

    June 5, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Thanks Bin Laden