Kristen Schaal Tells Jon Stewarts Balls: Spread Your Legs, Spread Your Freedom
Last night at The Daily Show, Jon Stewart wanted to talk about a problem in the New York Subway system: leg spreaders. Men are spreading out on the subway, taking up two seats. Jon Stewart is against manspreading, and claims that there’s plenty of room for your balls in one subway seat. But special correspondent Kristen Schaal thinks Jon is in denial. She explained why men deserve 30 percent more space on the subway — after all they earn 30 percent more. Schaal wanted to let Jon know that he deserves that extra room, so she spoke directly to his balls, in a nearly poetic way.
“You poor caged balls, your ancestors used to roam free. The wind blowing through your soft fuzzy hair, the sun soaking up into your wrinkled skin. Knowing that this whole god damned land was yours!”
So spread it out men. This is the only place you have left.
