Knives Kill People. Get Rid of Knives, Get Rid of Problem


The authors of an editorial in the latest issue of the British Medical Journal have called for knife reform. The editorial, “Reducing knife crime: We need to ban the sale of long, pointed kitchen knives,” notes that the knives are being used to stab people as well as roasts and the odd tin of Spam. Yet there are some people in Britain who believe if knives are outlawed only outlaws will have knives.

Read more at nytimes.com.

145 Comments

  1. SkoobaDoo

    July 27, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Invest in sporks NOW!!!! 

  2. blumanta

    July 27, 2012 at 10:07 am

    People are fucking retarded.I might cut off my hands because I have the ability to choke someone to death.

    • galactictraveler

      July 27, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      @blumanta we should be mute to. Remember words hurt !

  3. CooterNail

    July 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

    I hate using chopsticks
     

  4. DeathProof

    July 27, 2012 at 10:11 am

    “Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband ’cause they rapin’ e’rybody out here!”

  5. Beer

    July 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

    I’m throwing away all my baby snoots comic books right now

  6. IM NOT FEZ YET

    July 27, 2012 at 10:14 am

    shhhh dont tell the n.r.a.. they have enough issues to worry about.

  7. queenelisabeth

    July 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I guess we’ll be slicing our roast beef with chinese stars from now on

  8. Boogie_in_VA

    July 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

    I just finished taking apart my swiss army knife. All i have now is a corkscrew, bottle opener, screwdriver and baby scissors. Wait, they are all dangerous too. Shit, i’m just going to throw the whole thing away. DAMN YOU POINTY SHARP OBJECTS!!

  9. Franklin97

    July 27, 2012 at 10:24 am

    I am so sick of having these discussions. For all of you people in the world that are scared and frightened by everything and want any Government to make laws to protect you from your fears please die, go away, get on medicine, do the opposite of everything you think, and number one of all keep your fucking opinion to yourself.

  10. notbrennan

    July 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

    are gordon ramsey, nigella lawson, and jamie oliver that much of a threat

    • Scrotum Phillips

      July 27, 2012 at 11:15 am

      A threat to my waistline maybe!

    • Narc Zito

      July 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

       @notbrennan YES!!!  THEY ARE!!!

  11. seamus98

    July 27, 2012 at 10:32 am

    how am i supposed  to feed my baby   hippo? he got no tooths.

    • jerkstoresean

      July 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

      @seamus98 Marbles

  12. Oprahs moose knuckle

    July 27, 2012 at 10:35 am

    Paper now comes in circles only, to prevent paper cuts.

  13. jerkstoresean

    July 27, 2012 at 10:37 am

    It’s only a matter of time before this whole country looks like an epilectic’s bedroom. Padding on every corner of furniture, plastic scissors etc

    • jerkstoresean

      July 27, 2012 at 11:08 am

      Correction : “this whole world”

  14. Fez Whatley

    July 27, 2012 at 10:45 am

    If that country is having a knife problem then they should look at knives.  How can we stop all the stabbings is not an outrageous question

    • blumanta

      July 27, 2012 at 10:54 am

      @Fez Whatley as someone who cooks I love a good knife.I cringe at the thought of stabbing someones flesh with one.But I used it properly and everything is fine

    • blumanta

      July 27, 2012 at 10:55 am

      @Fez Whatley as someone who cooks I love a good knife.I cringe at the thought of stabbing someones flesh with one.But I use it properly and everything is fine

    • Ray in Pittsburgh

      July 27, 2012 at 11:14 am

      They’re not having a knife problem, they’re having a stabbing problem. we should outlaw thin skin.

      • Narc Zito

        July 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

         @Ray in Pittsburgh Are you busting on Fez here?

    • BigBill

      July 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm

      @Fez Whatley They looked at that here in Edmonton Alberta. They are trying to outlaw longer blades sold in knife shops. Like guns if you want one you will find it

    • JohnnyHardcock

      July 27, 2012 at 12:42 pm

       @Fez Whatley I’d like to stab you in your butt… with my dick!

  15. galactictraveler

    July 27, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Look on the bright side, we’re not the only dumb fucks on the planet!

  16. AssWhack!

    July 27, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Honey, I bought a tin of spam, can you get me the long pointed knife?

  17. TemporalGrid

    July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Does Harvey Weinstein make cooking shows? He should call a summit.

  18. Binary Daoist

    July 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Emotion should be outlawed

    • harlequincy

      July 27, 2012 at 11:06 am

       @Binary Daoist Equilibrium society

    • jerkstoresean

      July 27, 2012 at 11:09 am

      @Binary Daoist Oh thank god. I thought that said “emoticons”.

  19. FLprodivider66

    July 27, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Adding “stabbing” to the mix is going to make the Olympics that much more exciting! Hehe

  20. harlequincy

    July 27, 2012 at 11:09 am

    Fuck Edward Scissorhands

  21. OP4

    July 27, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Why not outlaw murder and stabbing?

  22. beerbuzzard

    July 27, 2012 at 11:13 am

    The world is so fucked

  23. Scrotum Phillips

    July 27, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Truth is, we will never be safe until Tom Cruise can use shiny balls to foresee all our crimes. 

  24. Cletus from Brooklyn

    July 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Missed a lot these past 2 weeks…

  25. jare215th

    July 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Yeah slippery slope. Get rid of scissors heavy cutting boards and fuck it cut
    Of my hands bcuZ I could choke someone. Sounds like soccer announcer fez is on the loose again

  26. James

    July 27, 2012 at 11:39 am

    They need more guns.

  27. bmqq316

    July 27, 2012 at 11:52 am

    How are we going to have “Night of the Long Knives” if we get rid of all the knives?

  28. ryan

    July 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    If only they had laws banning the murder and violence of others, then the bad guys would stop because it’s against the law.

  29. ryan

    July 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    I watched the Untouchables, we should outlaw baseball bats.

  30. SkoobaDoo

    July 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    Everything should be made from Nerf (Non-Expanding Recreational Foam). I guess you could still choke on it, but we may be a little safer. 

  31. OllieInChicago

    July 27, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Try to take Bill The Butcher’s knives away from him.  Whoopsey Daisy!

  32. Ken Atkins

    July 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Monkeys killed each other with bones in 2001 A Space Odyssey. We should get rid of bones.

  33. Steve_in_Tampa

    July 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    Yeah Fez, of course.  Then we’ll outlaw cars because one person runs down another on purpose.

  34. beerbuzzard

    July 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Fez is talking fucking stupid

  35. Steve_in_Tampa

    July 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Then wrenches, because someone will be beaten with a wrench.

  36. ajerry3666

    July 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    Fezes stupidity never ceases to amaze me

  37. OP4

    July 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Fez is in full work / heel mode.  Todd can’t be that crazy.

    • Sam

      July 27, 2012 at 12:49 pm

      Absolutely – that is his thing. Well, that, gay rage and crying.

  38. ecupirate

    July 27, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Lol Troll Fez Rules!!!!!

  39. JasonFromCT

    July 27, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    This is literally a non-story.

  40. HicksLoverBoyToy

    July 27, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Fez is just playing a part. We all know that no one could be this retarded.

  41. Dave McLean

    July 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    British headline in 2014: “Family of three found sporked to death in their home.”

  42. SarahMcSassyPants

    July 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    How will I chop up my husband’s spotted dick?

  43. ChemoSabe

    July 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Once Aunt Fezzie gets a meat spear to stab his fart box, he might calm down.

  44. LizSetsFire

    July 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Fez is going to get rid of all his comics, all his knives.. Soon he’ll just be in a white rubber room. Wait, maybe that’s where he should be.

    • Narc Zito

      July 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm

       @LizSetsFire Just don’t mention that one gay has given AIDS to another.  What are we going to do with them?

    • archg2

      July 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

       @LizSetsFire Arkham Asylum… oh  yeah, he’s no longer a believer in that.

  45. James

    July 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    I saw the movie Halloween. Knives are scary!

    • HollzinSeattle

      July 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

      And ice picks

  46. SpongeSteve

    July 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    big sticks are the real problem

  47. Christopher Brooklyn

    July 27, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    I say just let everyone stab everyone..get rid of the people then problem solved….I am all for that

  48. ajerry3666

    July 27, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    .Fezes stupidity never ceases to amaze me, maybe in fezland we should ban water,cause someone could drown

  49. Captain Floppy

    July 27, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    We should all live in cells so we can’t touch see or smell other living human beings or interact with other people and the world will be safe and we can finally all live in fez’s stand alone fruit world.

  50. Hank

    July 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    I bet a cleaver would do the job. It is not long or pointed.

  51. jerkstoresean

    July 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Im not afraid to say it…….I think cancer should be outlawed

  52. Eee

    July 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Do we ban hammers?

  53. HollzinSeattle

    July 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    What about Fireplace pokers, you can stab & beat someone with it

  54. TemporalGrid

    July 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    “He’s taking the knife out of the cheese…….do you think he wants some cheese?”

    (well, Arthur was British)

  55. Steve_in_Tampa

    July 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    The long knives won’t be a problem until after you ban guns.

  56. harlequincy

    July 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Well, I’m convinced…thanks Fez

  57. OllieInChicago

    July 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Humans should be banned.  I’m incredibly lethal. 

  58. Stabby McStaberson Jr

    July 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    I like knives.

    • Christopher Brooklyn

      July 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

      I like turtles

      • AaronInDunedin

        July 27, 2012 at 1:12 pm

        put them together and get teenage mutant ninja turtles @Christopher Brooklyn

  59. ajerry3666

    July 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Playgrounds hurt kids, ban them

  60. JfromHuntington

    July 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    What if dudes starting filing their weiners into a sharp object and started stabbing women’s throats during oral? Do we have to start lopping off cocks?

  61. harlequincy

    July 27, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I guess hardware stores are next, cuz just about everything in their is a potential deadly weapon.

  62. harlequincy

    July 27, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I guess hardware stores are next, cuz just about everything in there is a potential deadly weapon.

  63. Christopher Brooklyn

    July 27, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Maybe it is in our nature to be this violent ..maybe we are just animals and we are all faking..we are just animals…maybe..but WTF do I know

  64. Dave McLean

    July 27, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I say we ban precariously balanced flower pots on window sills.

  65. JfromHuntington

    July 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    People are the problem. Anything is a weapon.

  66. Ziggy Stardust

    July 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    I say get rid of people, get rid of problem. 

  67. Eee

    July 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    To the gun point, it’s not guns that are the problem.  Hundreds upon hundreds of years ago people we killing each other in the most imaginative ways possible.  And there were no guns.

  68. David Blowfish Heinz

    July 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    We should ban limbs!

  69. Jackie

    July 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Pinto only had a problem with being rear ended… Oh maybe that is Fez’s point.

  70. Fuqwon

    July 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    legalize swords

  71. SpongeSteve

    July 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    The real problem is the mentally unstable. All of those that are borderline with mental health should be rounded up and locked away. Fez, get on the train.

  72. David Blowfish Heinz

    July 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Ban pencils!

  73. harlequincy

    July 27, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    Throw the baby out with the bathwater.

  74. OP4

    July 27, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    Hong Kong hat a big spat of meat cleaver attacks.
     

  75. Hank

    July 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    The commonality is people. Get rid of people.

  76. OllieInChicago

    July 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Exploding knife bomb would be a great weapon.

    • harlequincy

      July 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

       @OllieInChicago it was good in Zelda

  77. ryan

    July 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Rope, a Spatula, knives, Bowling balls, Hammers, and bare hands have all been used to murder people… we should take them all away.

  78. Christopher Brooklyn

    July 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    HEY..Im from Brooklyn..yes I am bat shit

  79. chroma

    July 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    In a related story, France has announced that they’re going to start amputating thumbs, so that on one can hold any kind of weapon. Vive la France!

  80. jerkstoresean

    July 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    My fucking keys always jab me in the leg.

    • Kevin in SC

      July 27, 2012 at 8:13 pm

       @jerkstoresean
       Ban legs

  81. Steve_in_Tampa

    July 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Sharks with laser beams strapped to their heads are dangerous, should we ban those Fez?

  82. latenightrabbit

    July 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Patrice Oneal once said his version of hell is speaking with an unreasonable person.

    • Kevin in SC

      July 27, 2012 at 8:13 pm

       @latenightrabbit
       I miss that fat man

  83. JfromHuntington

    July 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Fez wants to ban a inanimate objects so no one can kill him during or after sex. But chances are that guy will have hands. There’s no end to this.

  84. Dave McLean

    July 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    I can think of a few guys in 1934 Germany who would be cool with banning long knives.

  85. ryan

    July 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    I stubbed my toe on the side walk, can we ban sidewalk?

    • Kevin in SC

      July 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      No
       
       Ban walking

  86. SkoobaDoo

    July 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    I really admire Ron for not putting Fez out of his misery…YET

    • Narc Zito

      July 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm

       @SkoobaDoo Why do you think Fez is trying to get weapons banned?

  87. jerkstoresean

    July 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    I saw the Killer Joe commercial last night and he bludgeoned someone with a can of pumpkin pie filling. No more Thanksgiving

  88. OllieInChicago

    July 27, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Mother fucking Colonel Mustard off-ed Ms Scarlett with a candlestick.  A Tiffany candlestick at that!

    • SkoobaDoo

      July 27, 2012 at 1:05 pm

       @OllieInChicago Spanner is also dangerous as in Mrs. White and Professor Plumb in the lounge!

      • OllieInChicago

        July 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

         @SkoobaDoo I took Professor Plumb’s class at the University.  All he kept talking about was this dinner party he was attending.  Then he asked if anybody had or knew someone who had lead pipe. 

      • Kevin in SC

        July 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm

         @OllieInChicago
         Eve Plumb stole every scene she was in

    • Villim

      July 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm

       @OllieInChicago Mrs. Peacock framed him

  89. harlequincy

    July 27, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    Just wear Knight’s armor…problem solved

  90. ChemoSabe

    July 27, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    In 2011, 564 people were murdered in all of the U.K. (220 were knife or sharp instruments).

    In 2011, 515 people were murdered in NYC alone.

    In 2011, Fez Marie Whatley was still a virgin.

    Outlaw virginity.

  91. unfknrl

    July 27, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    silly f a g g o t

  92. OP4

    July 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Holy Crap – it has already started!  Luckily we have guns.
     
    http://www.abc4.com/content/about_4/bios/story/conceal-and-carry-stabbing-salt-lake-city-smiths/NDNrL1gxeE2rsRhrWCM9dQ.cspx
     
    “Gun carrying man ends stabbing spree at Salt Lake grocery store.”

  93. unfknrl

    July 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    silly f a gg o t 

  94. JeromeHughes

    July 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    The only option we have is to use as many resourses we can to prevent weapons of mass destruction (from fully automatic rifles to bombs, and nukes) from falling into the hands of anyone that we know or belive will use them on living beings. As far as why people are drawn to violence because it is in our D.N.A. and our early brain areas like the “reptilian”. Male violence is hardwired to survival and ran social groups until the advent of religon. So now we all are plauged (some more than others) with the predisposal for violence conflicting with advanced social conduct and behavior.

  95. steeler0038

    July 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    I choked on some water while swimming in my pool today, can we please ban swimming pools?

  96. JeromeHughes

    July 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    The only option we have is to use as many resourses as we can to prevent weapons of mass destruction (from fully automatic rifles to bombs, and nukes) from falling into the hands of anyone that we know or belive will use them on living beings. As far as why people are drawn to violence is because it’s in our D.N.A. and our early brain areas like the “reptilian”. Male violence is hardwired to survival and ruled social groups until the advent of religon. So now we all are plauged (some more than others) with the predisposion for violence conflicting with advanced social conduct and expected behavior.

  97. JeromeHughes

    July 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    My opinion is that the only option we have is to use as many resourses as we can to prevent weapons of mass destruction (from fully automatic rifles to bombs, and nukes) from falling into the hands of anyone that we know or belive will use them on living beings. As far as why people are drawn to violence is because it’s in our D.N.A. and our early brain areas like the “reptilian”. Male violence is hardwired to survival and ruled social groups until the advent of religon. So now we all are plauged (some more than others) with the predisposion for violence conflicting with advanced social conduct and expected behavior.

  98. John in va

    July 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    com on now… its not knifes that kill people its the fucking dirt bags.. the bad ones. that kill with knifess and guns.. how many times.. its not the knife or the gun or the fucking car should i go on…

  99. scott

    July 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    A hammer can cave in a skull, ban hammers. A tow cable can strangle someone, ban tow trucks… and so on. Worst of all, you could kill someone with your bare hands. Cut off everybody’s hands?

  100. ShowerBench

    July 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    Everyone in the Aurora theater wishes the killer had a long knife instead of highly efficient guns that enable someone to kill large numbers in seconds before they can be subdued.

    • sm0k3ydaband1t

      July 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

       @ShowerBench and if the guy had a knife he would start from the back of the dark theatre and slit throats on his way to the front, just as deadly if not moreso, except silent, and more easily concealed, arguably a better way to have tried a mass homicide…bottom line, if someone wants to kill they will

    • Ares

      July 27, 2012 at 3:08 pm

      @ShowerBench Everyone needs to understand that the reason we have the right to have guns is not to hunt or pertuct ourselves from our neighbors but from government ( others and our own). You can not do that with a single shoot riffle these days

      • ShowerBench

        July 27, 2012 at 10:40 pm

         @Ares  @ShowerBench True but you really can’t do it with high powered guns – you’d need tanks, bombs, etc. to fight our own government.  Self defense at a personal level is another story and you might need these weapons for that purpose now, but only because years have passed permitting proliferation to such an extent that a gun grab to reverse the damage would be too aesthetically offensive for most people to accept.  I don’t think it can be said we’re “more free” as a result of the (likely permanent) success of the gun lobby.

      • Ares

        July 28, 2012 at 9:59 am

        @ShowerBench Sure you can any right we have makes us more free, we

      • Ares

        July 28, 2012 at 10:02 am

        @ShowerBench Sure you can any right we have makes us more free, if you have not noticed we are loosing rights everyday ( try to light up somewhere, or build something on your land). I for one want nothing from the gov. Them telling me what I can and can’t do the least

      • ShowerBench

        July 28, 2012 at 2:13 pm

         @Ares  @ShowerBench I would agree government is overreaching in most areas (as far as “lighting up” is concerned – those regulations are a trade off for socialized medicine, right or wrong).  But not sure regulation that still permits ownership for protection but prevented proliferation would not have given us greater freedom. Although I think it’s too late for that.

    • Kevin in SC

      July 27, 2012 at 8:06 pm

       @ShowerBench
       It took the authorities days before the dared allow his neighbors back in  the their apartments because they were afraid of hidden booby traps and explosives in shit heads apartment. He probably could have levelled that theater if he had no guns.  Dont even think for a moment that he wasnt capable of mass casualties without a gun.   Shit, he could have waited til a line formed at the ticket booth and drove his car over a few dozen people.   Locks only keep honest people honest and gun laws only keep guns out of honest peoples hands

    • Kevin in SC

      July 27, 2012 at 8:10 pm

      @ShowerBench
       
      It was several  days before the police dared allow his neighbors back in  the their apartments because they were afraid of hidden booby traps and explosives in shit heads apartment. Say what you will about the guy but theres no denying he is a brilliant young man   He  would have figured how to kill just as many in that that theater even  if he had no guns.  Dont even think for a moment that he wasnt capable of mass casualties without a gun.   Shit, he could have waited til a line formed at the ticket booth and drove his car over a few dozen people.   Locks only keep honest people honest and gun laws only keep guns out of honest peoples hands
       

      • ShowerBench

        July 27, 2012 at 10:41 pm

         @Kevin in SC Probably true about this particular lunatic.  But those Columbine mopes and other mass-killing ham n eggers would probably have had less “success” with more strict gun regulation, and with no actual consequence in terms of freedom for the rest of us

  101. ShowerBench

    July 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    The perfect is the enemy of the good.  Saying it’s absurd to ban kitchen knives is not a credible argument against banning guns beyond certain capacities.

  102. JeromeHughes

    July 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    people will kill people no matter what sociaty does until violence or all emotion is bread out of the human race

    • Trelogan

      July 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm

      @JeromeHughes I Love Bread…

      • Turbo_Squirbo

        July 27, 2012 at 6:37 pm

        @Trelogan If it’s stale enough, you can beat someone to death with a loaf of French bread.

      • K Dubya

        July 28, 2012 at 7:26 am

         @Turbo_Squirbo  @Trelogan like in that Cheech and Chong movie

  103. cal5000

    July 27, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    And Swords are ok?

  104. bjslineoftheday

    July 28, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Then rope will be banned , then fire , then rocks when does it stop

  105. kutepi4791

    December 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    I think they should get rid of people’s hands because they’re what’s doing all the killing.