John Waters Tells Colbert Why He’s The Favorite Creepy Uncle at Thanksgiving

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Showing up on the Late Show admittedly looking like a “Jackson Pollock painting” and full of holiday spirit, John Waters, despite being the “Pope of Trash”, has a fairly traditional Thanksgiving. Well, traditional in the fact that like a lot of Americans, he visits family. But that’s where the similarities between the director of classic cult films like “Hairspray”, “Pink Flamingos” and “Cry-Baby” and everyone else ends. On Thanksgiving, he heads to his sister’s home and brings gifts for all his little nieces and nephews, becoming the Santa of Swag. John Waters collects all the freebies that fans and free-thinking companies send him over the past year and hands out the tchotchkes to all the kids. He admits that some of the gifts are in questionable taste, but says it’s fun to see “a five year old in a ‘Bossy Bottom’ t-shirt”.

John Waters wouldn’t be John Waters if he didn’t make his opinion known about the Presidential election. Even though he’s a master of shocking people, the outcome of the election certainly shocked him. His response to Trump winning included a message and a warning. First, his message was that the country has lived through the Nixon and Reagan administrations, so we can live through Trump’s presidency. And as for anyone who claimed they would leave the country if Donald Trump was elected President, Waters said, “No one cares. Go ahead”. Next, his warning was for incoming Vice-President Mike Pence who John Waters says he fears more than the new President. After the cast of “Hamilton” called out the new Veep, he warned Pence not to mix it up with Broadway because there are “chorus boys who will give him a new kind of….”. And that’s where an elongated bleep from the CBS censors came in, so use your imagination to figure out what John Waters said.

As for Christmas, John Waters says he loves the holiday so much because it’s so “extreme” and he’s celebrating again this year with his touring Christmas comedy show. His favorite part of the holiday is each year’s list of the most dangerous toys on the market released by “W.A.T.C.H.”, “World Against Toys (that) Cause Harm”. Once he sees the list, he likes to collect those dangerous play things. You can watch the clip below to see which item on the list he thinks is perfect for baby lesbians. John Waters also has an idea for a brand new sex club that he’s hoping to get backers for. It’s called “Flip-Flop”. Again, either watch the clip or let your imagination fill in the rest.

The holiday comedy spectacular “A John Waters Christmas” is touring 18 cities now until December 22nd. For a list of cities and ticket information, go to Ticketmaster.

Watch more late night tv comedy clips.

Ernie Tripper
Ernie Tripper