In Fourteen Hundred Ninety Two, Columbus Really Was a Jew!?


A new theory on Christopher Columbus has come along and he may have been an in-the-closet Jew.  Jews became the target of fanatical religious persecution during Columbus’s lifetime, so he would have had to keep his beliefs on the down low. Hopefully the next Columbus parade will be led by Jackie Mason.

Read more at cnn.com.

34 Comments

  1. LizSetsFire

    May 21, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    better than an in the oven jew.

    • treekiller

      May 21, 2012 at 8:45 pm

       @LizSetsFire
       WOW this broad is quick.

      • TyWanon

        May 22, 2012 at 12:06 am

        @treekiller @LizSetsFire quickedy lickedy split

  2. TyWanon

    May 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    He did travel to Africa, maybe he was a Black Jew

  3. treekiller

    May 21, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    Leave it to a Jew to have someone else pay for their international travel. 
     

  4. Kevin Dubya

    May 21, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Jew…

  5. The Real Big Ed

    May 21, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    This explains all the kvetching about the service on the Santa Maria.

  6. TyWanon

    May 21, 2012 at 9:08 pm

    Famous Poem: in 1492 christopher columbus sailed the ocean jew

  7. LizSetsFire

    May 21, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    he actually came over on the ema, the yente and the shikse.
     
    (i dont know much hebrew)

    • TyWanon

      May 21, 2012 at 10:00 pm

      @LizSetsFire ….cost a whole lotta Matzah Balls

      • LizSetsFire

        May 21, 2012 at 10:40 pm

         @TyWanon  @LizSetsFire but i bet they had plenty of gefilte fish.

      • TyWanon

        May 21, 2012 at 10:43 pm

        @LizSetsFire reasonably priced?

      • LizSetsFire

        May 21, 2012 at 10:55 pm

         @TyWanon  @LizSetsFire they catch them themselves off the side of the boats with their yarmulkes.

      • TyWanon

        May 21, 2012 at 10:57 pm

        @LizSetsFire …i don’t know…are they Kosher?

      • LizSetsFire

        May 21, 2012 at 10:58 pm

         @TyWanon  @LizSetsFire i dont know how jew stuff works. dont you just have a rabbi kill it and like say a payer or something?

      • TyWanon

        May 21, 2012 at 11:02 pm

        @LizSetsFire …I don’t Know either..I was just riffing off stereotypes and language…BUT Nice Chip reference, or something

      • LizSetsFire

        May 21, 2012 at 11:03 pm

         @TyWanon  my ambien has kicked in so ive lost my focus. :/
         

      • TyWanon

        May 21, 2012 at 11:05 pm

        @LizSetsFire My Alcholism kicked in so i wont remember anything i was typing

    • ecupirate

      May 22, 2012 at 7:35 am

       @LizSetsFire  not its not hebrew its hejew

  8. archg2

    May 21, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I demand proof of this blasphemy!

  9. Cletus from Brooklyn

    May 21, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Theories are like assholes, everyone has one…

  10. LizSetsFire

    May 21, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    “be careful on your journey columbus. weve heard the world is as flat as matzah!”

    • TyWanon

      May 21, 2012 at 11:27 pm

      @LizSetsFire Matzah Balls are flat?

      • LizSetsFire

        May 22, 2012 at 7:55 am

        @TyWanon The balls are round, regular matzah is flat. Like a flat bread.

      • AssWhack!

        May 22, 2012 at 11:01 am

        Those arn’t matzah balls!

  11. jerkstoresean

    May 22, 2012 at 12:26 am

    This is schmearly a theory

  12. Beer

    May 22, 2012 at 5:07 am

    He killed Jesus

  13. Toin Coss

    May 22, 2012 at 7:21 am

    The crew became suspicious when they heard Columbus say…Oy Vey instead of Ahoy !?/?!

  14. mistawag

    May 22, 2012 at 7:37 am

    He would have paid for the trip himself but he left his wallet in his other pants.

  15. FanBoy1

    May 22, 2012 at 10:40 am

    I read he converted just for the jokes.

    • AssWhack!

      May 22, 2012 at 11:02 am

       @FanBoy1 Those arn’t matzah balls!!!!

  16. DeathProof

    May 22, 2012 at 11:20 am

    That’s nothing I heard Jesus was black! 🙂

  17. MuteFez

    May 22, 2012 at 11:43 am

    great piece, thanks for bringing attention to it

  18. HollyGothic

    May 22, 2012 at 11:51 am

    He knew this wasn’t really India, but he wanted to save money on the trip.