Impossible Movie Sequels You Won’t See Anytime Soon


impossible movie sequels

People love sequels. A movie only becomes good once they make four to ten carbon-copy, big-budget follow-ups to the first flick. Otherwise, we know that the movie is a piece of garbage and a waste of all of our times. Imagine a world where Sly Stallone had made Rocky, but hadn’t made Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, Rocky V, Rocky Balboa, and the upcoming Creed. That world would be pretty close to the world we have today, but people would probably be smiling a lot less!

Hollywood has figured out this great formula. Yet there are some movies where a sequel would be dang-near impossible to make, because the filmmakers were just plain dumb. Damn! To help Hollywood, we’ve brainstormed potential sequels of films that you might think were destined to stand on their own. Not so fast.

[WARNING: This list contains major spoilers to decades-old movies.]

GONE WITH THE WIND, Clark Gable, Vivien Leigh, 1939

Gone With The Wind (1939)

Okay, this one’s a toughie. Rhett Butler takes all kindsa shit from Scarlett O’Hara for around four hours. Finally, at the end, he walks away after telling Scarlett: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” A fitting end to a film that won ten Academy Awards and earned a place in cinema history… but we gotta make Part 2…

Back From The Wind

Rhett comes back and says, “Babe, I know I said I didn’t give a damn, but you know I didn’t mean that. I was just hungry.” With this opening line, we’re off and running. Love, strife, hijinks, and questions as to why it took Rhett more than 75 years to return makes this sequel a can’t-miss.

casablanca 2 rick and louie hang out

Casablanca (1942)

Hoooooboy, a Casablanca sequel would get the blogs talkin’. But how are we gonna do it? Rick (Humphrey Bogart) told Ilsa (Ingrid Birgman) to get on the plane with her husband, Victor Laszlo (Some Actor Who’s Name I Don’t Know). There’s no circumstance where Rick would run into Ilsa again. Safe to say that they ain’t bumping into each other at a grocery store. So what’s the sequel? Well, it’s planted at the end of the first film. Rick walks away with Louis Renault, saying, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” This line perfectly sets the stage for an instant classic…

Rick & Louie Hang Out!

A buddy-cop movie, without the cops. Really just two buddies, dodging Nazis, having some beers, and loving life. Fun for the family and no meddling women from Bogart’s past ruining his good time. In this sequel, he fully realizes the truth: Bros truly do come before hoes.

Big Indian's a Runnin

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

I’ll be honest, I don’t know where to go with this one. So, in the first one, McMurphy challenges Nurse Ratched until she has him lobotomized. Chief Bromden smothers McMurphy, then throws a water fountain out of the window and escapes the mental institution. Great film adapted from a great book — but whaddya say we stop adapting and start sequel-ing? Ladies and gentlemen…

Big Indian’s A-Runnin’

We covered all the ground we could in the mental hospital in the first one. Nurse Ratched is evil, Nicholson’s character is dead, the other patients are nuts — we get it. Let’s watch Chief Bromden keep running. Seeing him run, stop for a slice, slow down and walk for a few, before finding himself in New York City. The Big Indian in the Big Apple is a classic fish-out-of-water tale and a follow-up flick we deserve.

12 angrier men

12 Angry Men (1957)

In this classic, Henry Fonda convinces the eleven other members of the jury ready to convict a man of murder that the defendant is, in fact, not guilty. One of the great films of all-time, referenced often in pop culture, and yet no sequel. The film ends with the case closing and all the cast going home. There’s no chance Hollywood can rekindle this magic. Unless…

Jury Duty Again?!

The same twelve jurors get called for jury duty again. This time, they find themselves on a minor medical malpractice case, but they still bicker and argue — as these 12 men always seem to do. Also, this time the judge is mad also, so our “Angry Men” count is up to 13.

hindenberg

Titanic (1997)

The ship sank. We gotta change settings. DiCaprio drowns, but we still have that old woman who survived. She lived a long life between getting on that stupid boat and where she is when she’s remembering the whole iceberg thing. I’m guessing she lived a life in between that’s worth telling. I’m gonna say that she was on…

The Hindenburg

Let’s put her on the Hindenburg also. That flight caught fire 25 years after the Titanic sunk. Was Kate Winslet on it? Sure, why the hell not? This woman has bad luck wherever she goes. Tell a similarly long story, with a nice soundtrack, some handsome actor, and disaster looming — with Winslet emerging as unscathed as ever. You know what that sequel would bring? Some goddamn Oscars.

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Dan Perlman is a stand-up comedian and writer from New York City. Dan performs regularly at Stand Up NY, New York Comedy Club, Comic Strip Live, and alternative rooms across the city. He has performed in comedy festivals in Brooklyn, Memphis, and Dallas. In 2013, Dan was named Comedy Contributor for Neil deGrasse Tyson’s popular StarTalk Radio show. He co-founded, writes, and stars in the web series, Moderately Funny. Dan also works as a Sketch Company Writer for the Off-Broadway theater group, On The Rocks. Currently, Dan hosts and produces a monthly storytelling show, Hindsight, at Stand Up NY Labs. He also appears regularly on SiriusXM’s Ron and Fez Show. Visit danperlmancomedy.com for more.

113 Comments

  1. Rerand

    June 30, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    Dan, I think you’ve found your perfect milieu… written humor has the advantage of not being saddled with that mortician voice.

  2. BillLehecka

    June 30, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Fried Green Okra: Pretty much follows the premise for Evan Almightly, especially since they couldn’t resign Tomatoes for the sequel.

  3. Kuech

    June 30, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    Jurassic Bark. After the park closed because of law suits Mike Vick buys the island and starts an isolated doc fighting ring where he can never be prosecuted. Spoiler alert, the dogs turn on Vick a la island of doctor Meraue and eat that sick fuck.

  4. IAmJayShea

    June 30, 2015 at 1:46 pm

    The Goddaughter – gender-updated “reboot-quel” to the classic franchise.

  5. Tha_Randy_Man_

    June 30, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    FERRIS BUELLER 2: ANOTHER DAY OFF:
    Ferris now works in a company for a mean boss & plays hooky with his new friends..

  6. OLDIRTYHAWG

    June 30, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    BREAKING 3….PEPPER’S KNEE. The story of a drunken former break dancer with bad knees who teaches at risk kids to dance.

  7. freddiethegreek

    June 30, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    When Sally Left Harry:  Sally finally figures out that Harry is a wishy washy loser, and she moves on to someone better.

  8. CandyButts

    June 30, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Showgirls 2: Saved by the Pole – Jesse, Kelly and Lisa open a strip club to save the world!

  9. LowKeyMike

    June 30, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    Gap 2 – Something interesting finally happens

  10. PhorosGod

    June 30, 2015 at 1:50 pm

    High school of rock: jack black is back to substitute his old class who are now in high school

  11. detroitjack

    June 30, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Slut Girl. The prequel to Pretty Woman where we just get to see Julia Roberts sleeping with awful men.

  12. Tha_Randy_Man_

    June 30, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    USII: Finding Keyser Soze
    The Suspects reunite to search the world for the one thing they ALL have in common – KEYSER SOZE

  13. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Shawshank Revolution – Andy and Red decide to get themselves caught so they go pack to prison where they lead a revolution to free all the prisoners.

  14. tfor3

    June 30, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    “Nothing Changes but the Seasons” A beautiful girls sequel. Natalie Portman, now of age, returns as a 30 year old Marty hoping to see what Willie has become.   Tommy and the boys still hang at the bar now owned by Willie. Paul still lusts for the models on his wall and Kevy drinks at 5am

  15. PhorosGod

    June 30, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Kill bill: bill never took 5 steps and is in a wheelchair.

  16. Kuech

    June 30, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Back To The Future (reboot)- Marty and Doc come to the future and there are no flying cars, just everyone staring at the stupid phones.

  17. GregRobinette

    June 30, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Sling Blade 2: The Early Years. It’s all about Carl as a kid and how he was mistreated. The movie ends where the first movie starts out.

  18. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    Found Boys – Michael and Star open a home for wayward vampires boys.

  19. Pennsyltucky_Suck_N_Fuck

    June 30, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    Frognolia …kid’s version remake of Magnolia staring CGI frogs…

    Really cute until near the end when thousands of human bodies rain from the sky.

  20. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    I am on delay. I was not trying to trip off Ron’s back to prison idea.

  21. Kuech

    June 30, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    Lake Flacid- A retirement community is formed around the fabled lake where none of the men can get it up, an underground viagra ring is started when Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson square off as viagra kingpins and bang a ton of old broads.

  22. Rob_fr0m_Charleston

    June 30, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    Rocky II Reboot: Rocky Dies in the Ambulance. Its 5 Minutes long. Franchise Saved!

  23. TWenz

    June 30, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    A FEW HOOD MEN- Colonel Jessup goes to jail and organizes an army of hoods in need of redemption.

  24. KyleBelyea

    June 30, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    Pretty woman????
    Julia Roberts is really a tranny that is why she doesn’t kiss because of the five o clock shadow and their journey of the decision to fully transform

  25. Roefmli

    June 30, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    Ferris Bueller’s living His Way
    Ferris becomes a motivational speaker. Coaching people on getting everything they want.
    His sister Jeanie is institutionalize. Deemed a pathological liar and a threat to brother Ferris.

  26. Vickroy

    June 30, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    Knives Out! Follow up to Scott Pilgrim. Knives must rescue Young Neil & Scott from evil Canadian Mounties.

  27. PaulHuddleston

    June 30, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    Yesterday the Earth Stood Still
    Elephant Man 2 – The Revenge
    Ghandi Resurrection
    Raging Bull Generations

  28. Matt Picarelli

    June 30, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    POINT BREAK 2: We find out Bodhi is actually alive, and gets washed up ashore on an desolate island…..happy to be alive and finally able to start a brand new life. He thinks he is living the dream on this island (living that hippy lifestyle, and surfing all time) buttttttttttttttt when night time falls the island turns into a cult cannabilistic world and BODHI is now on the run/hunt from the indigenous cannibal creatures that are looking to get him.

  29. OLDIRTYHAWG

    June 30, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Gladiator 2 “Revenge of the black guy.” This time Maximus’ friend goes on a gladiator tour to find the dudes that captured him and he destroys them all.

  30. Vickroy

    June 30, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    Animal White House. Follows the Senator Blutarsky’s bid to be the president of the U.S. of A.

  31. Boogie_in_VA

    June 30, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    A Christmas Story – the Next Year.

    Ralphie wants an actual 12 gauge shot gun this time. 
    Is told; “You’ll blow your head off.” The whole time.
    Gets the gun and goes on a shooting spree. Killing everyone who told him that he would shoot himself.

  32. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Wall•E2 – after humans return to Earth it makes 2 months to screw up the enviornment again and they need to build a new ship with the help of Wall•E and Eve’s robot kid Wall•E2 to go find another planet to live on.

  33. Kuech

    June 30, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    The Island of Doctor MaBro: The life story Puca Dude.

  34. JohnnyMcJames

    June 30, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    How about Aging Bull? A decrepit ex boxer comes into various radio shows and tells the exact same Sugar Ray Robinson joke for an hour and a half.

  35. KyBailey

    June 30, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    The Goonies 2: Sloth and Chunk Get Laid!

  36. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    SugarTime – Bob Sugar plots his revenge to give that smug Jerry Maguire his comeuppance. The tag lines are “Show me the vengeance!” and “You ruin me”

  37. Jow

    June 30, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    Waterworld 2 – Landworld  we all know they arrive on dry land at end of film.  But then lets see what crazy adventures happen from there especially now that Costner’s gills are useless.

  38. DannySaint33

    June 30, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Foxcatcher 2: We’re actually catching foxes in this one.

  39. TimKnight1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Seabiscuit 2:  Centaur of Attention

  40. Vickroy

    June 30, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Polter-Heist Carol Anne is all grown up and wants to make it back to the spirit world to steal treasures she saw there as a little girl.

  41. ArchStanton66

    June 30, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Life After Delta House……..We follow the guys from Animal House….D Day wins Americas Got Talent playing his throat. Flounder ends up in Porn. Pinto can not keep stalking underage girls. Niedemier becomes a huge gay activist. Bluto, goes back and well, keeps being Bluto.

  42. HollzinSeattle

    June 30, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Valley Girl 2 – Nick Cage returns married to his Valley Girl and they now have a teenage daughter of their own that is dating.  Their slug line is “Now I know why your/my parents smoked so much weed.”

  43. ArchStanton66

    June 30, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Back in 59 Seconds……car is faster

  44. ArchitectWes

    June 30, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    There was a sequel to Gone With the Wind.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlett_(TV_miniseries)

  45. guest

    June 30, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Valkyrie 2. Hitler comes back as the president of the united states (obama) and the protagonists try to blow up the president (hitler). and fail.

  46. Smokey Hoof

    June 30, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    Ex Machina: Trapped.

  47. Smokey Hoof

    June 30, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    The Dude: Revenge of Lebowski.

  48. clayfromnm

    June 30, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Thelma and Louise 2: Surviving the Canyon. Through a miracle the lovable duo survives the plunge into the Grand Canyon. They must survive flash floods, wildlife and starvation to make it out of the canyon and into old Mexico.

  49. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:11 pm

    Another Hard Days Night – the movie bounce back and forth between showing Paul search for delicious vegan recipes and Ringo returning correspondence to fans.

  50. Vickroy

    June 30, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    As long as The Payolas “Eyes of A Stranger” is in it again, I’m in!

  51. CurtisKnoll

    June 30, 2015 at 2:12 pm

    Florist Gump: When the retard cus the flowers

  52. Kuech

    June 30, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Jawls- The story of Jaws’ cousin from Philly who only eats hoagies and drinks wuter.

  53. Smokey Hoof

    June 30, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Midnight Cowgirl:  Less Gay.  Starring Angelina.

  54. JacqueTober

    June 30, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    The Notebook Part Deux- The decrepit old couple faked their death in order to escape the old age home for one last vacation in Las Vegas where hijinks, hilarity and homosexual hookups ensue.

  55. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Reservoir Cats – another jewel heist, but this time instead of career criminals, they are all real smooth jazz musicians.

  56. CurtisKnoll

    June 30, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Top Gun 2: Mile High Club

  57. Lady_Trucker1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Piggies. Triplets conceived at the end of Porkies.

  58. theblakeri

    June 30, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Wish you were accepting prequals cause I got one. A man who is assisting Nikola Tesla moves away after teslas death. He begins to conduct experiments with a woman later to be grandma death. They cause a plane from the future to transport back in time minus the engine. Can he save his future grandson Donnie? Come see Jonnie Darko. Maybe it could be a sequal?

  59. CourtneyLangford

    June 30, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    Dogma …. Dogma 2 ‘for christ sakes” two angels trying to get out of heaven to get high

  60. Vickroy

    June 30, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    KAREN!!! Just 90 minutes of Henry Hill in witness protection suburbia yelling at his wife over every little thing.

  61. sybaritictrance

    June 30, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    The Goonies 2: Electric Boogaloo.
    The kids spend the pirate money trying to become a famous dance team, unsuccessfully. They split and get older, when they see an email saying the old neighborhood is in danger of being demolished by the city.
    They get back together and enter competitions to earn the money to save it, but find out after winning the championship that the arena they’re in was actually built on top of the now paved over neighborhood.

  62. Smokey Hoof

    June 30, 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Electric Apricot: Quest for Fester2!  Starring Trey Anastasio.

  63. WolfKnifeLaser

    June 30, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Glitter 2: The Foaming
    Mariah Carey plays a burned out ex pop-queen, now fully into EDM music until one night, her new “Foam Party” goes terribly wrong when Asians show up with sparklers.

  64. TheBMD1

    June 30, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    46 Candles – everyone is so busy getting Samantha’s teenage daughter ready for her prom, they forget it is Mom’s 46th birthday.

  65. sybaritictrance

    June 30, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    The Wizard 2.
    Fred Savage continues winning Nintendo championships until Nintendo stops holding them, so he stays in his parents basement until this year when the Nintendo Championships returned, only to get to E3 this year and lose.

  66. Toin Coss

    June 30, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    I hope you realize that Jury Duty Again works as a Pauly Shore Vehicle too!?

  67. Sean1388

    June 30, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    Saving private Ryan 2: coming home. Follows Ryan after they blow the bridge fighting his way back and coping with his brothers deaths

  68. shizz

    June 30, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    A sequel to pretty woman called shitty woman where instead of Richard gere lifting Julia Roberts up to a classy lifestyle, they move to Florida and waste all of his money on coke and jet skis

  69. Tim in North Carolina

    June 30, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    Reservoir Dawgs. Same movie. They’re just all black.

  70. OLDIRTYHAWG

    June 30, 2015 at 2:22 pm

    CASTAWAY 2 “ARE YOU F’N KIDDING ME!” Tom Hanks gets lost on an island, but this time it’s habited by a big Gorilla and he somehow captures it and takes it to New York where it escapes and fondles Helen Hunt.

  71. Kenny Allen

    June 30, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    The sequel to Lincoln… “Johnson”, it picks right up after Lincoln is assassinated  with the appointment of Andrew Johnson

  72. Doza 79

    June 30, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Alert and Focused: Its 1985 and Wooderson is still working for the city and Pink comes back into town because wooderson knocked up a girl and has to get married.

    They get the team back together for a a party in Austin TX . get into fight with alot of Frat Guys from UT  and bad 80s  music. Hilarity ensues. end up meeting Willie Nelson and all the other cowboy hippies. Get High

  73. Rich from Lindy

    June 30, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    3 Men and Rosemary’s Baby. 
    Channing Tatum is a unrepentant philanderer who has his world turned upside down when a former fling leaves their supposed love child on his doorstep. What he doesn’t know is it is actually the child of the devil. This leaves Channing and his roomates, Jonah Hill and Jason Biggs to deal with this mess. Biggs is brutally killed withing 5 minutes of the babies arrival and Hill and Tatum spend the rest of the movie covering up the murders of Tatum’s sexy sleepover friends. The movie ends when they arrange an exorcism with local priest (Dennis Leary) but accidentally wind up kill Hill, because he is Jew.

  74. ArchitectWes

    June 30, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    Big Trouble in Little Portland :Jack Burton travels to Oregon to play minor league baseball for a team that his dad owns but he finds that Lo Pan wants to buy the team so Jack must once again battle the black blood of the earth.

  75. Cconnolly

    June 30, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    BETTERFELLAS
    “We ARE here to amuse you”

    Henry Hill is in witness protection and he’s shaking things up. Henry is trying to go straight in Arizona, but after a Karen gets a surprise visit from janice rossi, things take a turn for the worse.

  76. CourtneyLangford

    June 30, 2015 at 2:30 pm

    Dogma …. Dogma 2 ‘for Christ sakes” two angels trying to get out of heaven to get high

  77. ssd

    June 30, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Maglev-Spotting – This sequel will leave Edinburgh to follow Mark
    Renton’s new life in the more technologically advanced Shanghai, China.

  78. DKinFTL

    June 30, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    The Baby Lebowski – Maud has her baby which was father by the dude. Walter insists that the baby becomes Jewish. baby becomes kidnapped and held for ransom, and antics ensue.

  79. Bill Glass

    June 30, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    Mother, Jugs and Rohipnol – It is the 1980’s. Mother (Bill Cosby) buys a van and paints it like an ambulance. He picks up ladies with big boobs and – you can fill in the rest.

  80. loandinasor

    June 30, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    The sequel to “Talk Radio”.

    The Stalker is now played by Horatio Sanz in his Golden Globes nominated performance as a lead actor in a dramatic role.  He goes from town to town across the South killing Shock Jocks.  But, little does he know, the Widow (played by Ellen Greene) has been Stalking him.  And she wants revenge.

    Film Title:    Stalk Radio

  81. loandinasor

    June 30, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    Rich from Lindy  – Does “he is Jew” have horns?

  82. loandinasor

    June 30, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    Toin Coss  – Tell them Judge Ito sent me.

  83. loandinasor

    June 30, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    TheBMD1  – I want!

  84. loandinasor

    June 30, 2015 at 3:06 pm

    TheBMD1  – Peace and love. Peace and love!

  85. cysmatters

    June 30, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    The Hunchback is not a Dame
    – In drag Quasimodo rings his bells & the audience’s heart

  86. JoeDGrinder

    June 30, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    The Crying Game 2 – Forrest Whittaker gives a trans woman a 15 minute blowjob. She ejaculates into his good eye. She breaks up with him rather than suffer the indignity of being seen with a man with 2 lazy eyes.

  87. MatthewMHodge

    June 30, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    Weekend at Bernies 3: Bernie Bust’in Loose.  Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are in NYC bemoaning  their washed up movie careers.  After a night of drinking they write the script for Weekend at Bernies 3 convinced it will give them one last shot at fame.  A hollywood producer agrees to green light the film on one condition, Terry Kiser must reprise his role as Bernie.  The boys head out to find the reclusive actor and pitch him the script for Bernie Bust’in Loose.  Mr. Kiser hates the film, feels Bernie ruined his life, and refuses to sign the contract.  As he yells at the eager duo he suffers a major heart attack and dies.  The boys consider calling 911, but decide instead to have the contract signed by the now deceased Mr. Kiser.  They pack his corpse into their car and head to Hollywood with intention of shooting the movie with the dead body of Kiser, all under the guise of his commitment to method acting….

  88. dangledstash

    June 30, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Last of the Mohicans 2: One more Mohican..

  89. Five Years

    June 30, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    The sequel to Raising Arizona:
    “Arizona Razed” (or, “Before Utah”)
    —-
    In 2017, 30 years after the original, we follow the Arizona quints struggling in adulthood. Though Nathan Jr. has taken over the family business ‘Unpainted Arizona,’ he has to deal with his 4 meddling siblings, Barry, Larry, Barry & Gary. Also, In the ending of the original, we see a dream in which Ed and Hi enjoy Thanksgiving with a family that includes children & others, one of those McDunnough’s children being Buford, the oldest who has taken to a life of crime like his old man, deciding to avoid robbing convenience stores and instead focus on where the real money is: Unpainted Arizona. Let the Coen-y goodness ensue!

  90. EdFromjersey

    June 30, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    Rosebud’s Revenge: Told from the perspective of Charles Foster Kane’s sleigh, hanging in the barn rusting when when a freak storm makes it sentient and it goes about finding his original owner, upsetting his candidacy for president, putting him into financial ruin, having sex with his wife, and slathering his snow globe with poison. This is reason Kane whispers “Rosebud” at the end of Citizen Kane.

  91. Seatondad36

    June 30, 2015 at 4:05 pm

    Formerly Famous: 20 Years after breaking up, Stillwater meets up again at Penny’s funeral.  They decide to get the band back together for one last tour, The Goodbye Penny tour, and get William, who is now a director, to follow them around to produce a tour documentary.

  92. Chops85

    June 30, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Blown: Follow Derek Foreal’s (Paul Reuben) path from drug dealer to children’s TV show stardom to his dramatic fall into sexual perversion

  93. whyiamawesome

    June 30, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    That Thing You Do 2
    The Oneders Reunion Tour: Won More Time

  94. thejerseyjon

    June 30, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    The Goonies 2 – Goonies in Space. “It’s our time up here”

  95. mattaway64

    June 30, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    ‘Schindler’s List 2: The Reichoning’

    A ‘Final Destination’-like thriller where the Jews from the first movie all die in the order in which Schindler saved them.

  96. Shorty187

    June 30, 2015 at 9:38 pm

    The Things. Everyone on earth is now a Thing. They go about their business unhindered.

  97. PepperDIYHKS

    June 30, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    Trueman Show 2

    Follows Trueman and his new family as they try to cope with the unrelenting paparazzi and public who can’t come to terms with the loss of their favorite show.

  98. Soundlive77

    June 30, 2015 at 9:54 pm

    Trainwreck 2 Bill Hader gets really into the cuckhold scene. He gathers up some of his closest “NIGGAZ” to run a train on Amy’s station every night. Amy isn’t really down with it at first, she has a headache, not really in the mood. See how many drinks its gonna Take! Until Amy gives these hommies a slice of DAT CAKE!

  99. Soundlive77

    June 30, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    Flight 93 “2” The Groundtrip

  100. Laundrymech

    June 30, 2015 at 10:47 pm

    Rudy the scab: Rudy returns home to work in the steel mill. NFL goes on strike and the Steelers call on Rudy. He still doesn’t play until the last game of the season. LT snaps his leg on the last play

  101. FERREL

    July 1, 2015 at 12:52 am

    Hamburger Hill 2 Hold The Pickle
    They Took The Hill and Instead Of Raising The Flag, A Giant Pickle on a Stick

  102. FERREL

    July 1, 2015 at 1:04 am

    Gap 2 Revenge of Paul O
    Straight to Video

  103. shizz

    July 1, 2015 at 1:51 am

    Princess Bride 2 _ As You Wish

    Peter Falk begins to tell the story of how Prince Charming likes to hide in the closet as the Princess gets serviced by Andre the Giant when Fred Savage gets bored by the story. Columbo then proceeds to smother the wonder years out of Fred Savage and complains that he had no respect for the glass eye, which is a mind control device

  104. LizSetsFire

    July 1, 2015 at 6:53 am

    Almost Nameless- With the departure of Russell Hammond, Stillwater splits. Jeff Bebe reprises the Jeff Bebe band & struggles to stay relevant. We follow him on his downturn from tour bus to VW bus, from arenas to club gigs. All the while Jeff tries to maintain his inflated rockstar ego, bitching to anyone who’ll listen that he’s better than this.

  105. PaddyOFurniture

    July 1, 2015 at 7:32 am

    Sequel to Gorillas in the Mist – Apes in the Fog! Charlton Heston and his old nemesis Dr. Zaius face off yet again, but this time both owning competing wineries. Trouble strikes when Heston’s Vineyard is struck by a mysterious fog that coats his grapes with a light dusting of grit, rendering them useless in the wine making process. All suspicions point to the diabolical Dr. Zaius, and Heston is forced to find a cure to his tainted grapes in time for the harvest. Tag line – “Damn These Dirty Grapes!”

  106. loandinasor

    July 1, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    Yeah!  Winner Winner here!  🙂

  107. PaddyOFurniture

    July 1, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    loandinasor congrats!

  108. Dwayne Hoover

    July 1, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    TheBMD1  Yeah, I’m on delay too. Audible since the 25th.

  109. Dwayne Hoover

    July 1, 2015 at 7:02 pm

    Shelby 2 – Triumphant Return to Sirius.

    Good article BTW

  110. cysmatters

    July 1, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    loandinasor  Congratulations. I hope Pepper didn’t reward your effort with a one-way ticket to palookaville.

  111. cysmatters

    July 1, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    @FERREL

  112. FERREL

    July 2, 2015 at 1:12 am

    Groundhog Day 2 Not Again
    A Year Later….

  113. TOASTER

    July 7, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    NON LETHAL WEAPON.

    MEL GIBSON, DANNY GLOVER AND A PAIR OF TASERS