Get Jacked Up on Cracker Jacks

A new line extension called “Cracker Jack’d” will hit stores soon, including a caffeinated variety called Power Bites because the biggest problem with eating Cracker Jackers has always been that you didn’t get
wired on them like you do on a Red Bull.



  1. TBVickroy

    November 15, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Now when you crack a tooth on an unpopped kernel you’ll have a nice buzz on.

  2. seamus98

    November 15, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    do you still get the same shitty prize?

    • Beer

      November 16, 2012 at 9:08 am

      @seamus98 The tiny dice,the tiny ring at the tiny magnifier glass…which probably was the decline in ants in every neighborhood

      • Beer

        November 16, 2012 at 9:09 am

        And not at…nice iPhone

  3. FLprodivider66

    November 15, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    “Cracker Jack’d”?…thought it was a story about a white dude who found himself in the wrong part of town haha…

  4. Pool Keepers Son

    November 15, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    White people beating off in a sack? Nasty

  5. sterlingblue

    November 15, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Tastes like meth…

  6. Cletus from Brooklyn

    November 16, 2012 at 4:22 am

    I got your Cracker Jacks, right here…

  7. jerkstoresean

    November 16, 2012 at 7:33 am

    New prizes include Marlboro miles and bottle openers!

  8. madtowntom

    November 16, 2012 at 8:38 am

    steriods in baseball, might as have them in your peanuts and cracker jacks also. and no fuking prize !?

  9. DeathProof

    November 16, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Mix it up with some Oxycontin Poppy Cock and get a nice speed ball going.

  10. madtowntom

    November 16, 2012 at 8:55 am

    not to mention, its a far tastier way to have an abortion than 5 hr energy.

  11. Guilty Bystander

    November 16, 2012 at 8:59 am

    If I want to get high, I’ll snort Pixy Stix.

  12. Aria Taint

    November 16, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I want a lick and stick tatoo that’s laced. Time to improve your brand bitches.

  13. Jerry65

    November 16, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I miss the little sailor boy on the box….suuuuuure.

  14. Docintoxicated

    November 16, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Can’t wait until Ant goes off on how the blacks have ruined cracker jacks. The prize inside is now bath salts.

  15. Scott_Chandwater

    November 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Cant wait for the lobster flavored CJ’d

  16. jerkaruso

    November 16, 2012 at 11:50 am


  17. Ziggy Stardust

    November 16, 2012 at 11:54 am

    Mix in some bath salts and BOOM !!!!!

  18. bmqq316

    November 16, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    It’s a way to put the “Crack” in Cracker Jacks.

  19. FanBoy1

    November 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    we make our own Carmel Corn. its far superior.

    • CryBaby1

      November 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

       Oooh….tell us more.

  20. filler

    November 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    I don’t even know where I could find Cracker Jacks now.

    • Uberhack

      November 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      @filler Baseball games. You can get peanuts too.

  21. seamus98

    November 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    My favorite Cracker  Jacks song is” Nostalgia”.

  22. Beer

    November 16, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Can’t wait till they mix these with vodka…