Episode Review: Better Late Than Never Hits the Road Again

review

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Last week, those of us who watched it were treated to the spectacle of four aging Yankee Doodle dandys turned loose in Tokyo, as the first leg of an extensive (and certainly expensive) tour of Asia. William (“Capt. Kirk”) Shatner, Henry (“The Fonz”) Winkler, George (“I Like Grils, and No, I’m Not Dyslexic”) Foreman and Terry (“Shingles”) Bradshaw had a high old time (mostly) for our entertainment, if not so much our edification. If you missed the show, it may be worth your while to catch it by some other means.

Yesterday’s installment, as promised in the previous week’s previews, involved a trip within Japan to Kyoto, followed by a short hop to Hong Kong. Both were amusing, but your narrator had been hoping they would extend their China stay to include a visit to Canton, where he was born. Of course, he means the one in Ohio.

For all the comedy we get in these episodes, we also get some tidbits of knowledge that hardly anyone (i.e., me) would know. While the guys were in Kyoto, we learn that, for all the deadly bombardments we rained down upon Japan during the war, even before Hiroshima, we chose to spare the city of Kyoto because of its cultural treasures. Perhaps the idea was to appeal to the enemy’s better nature. It seems to have worked. Today, we get along better with our Japanese allies than some descendants get along with our Confederate allies. In any case, it made for the star tourists getting a friendly, if not sometimes strange, reception.

Their accommodations in Kyoto, like the ones in Tokyo, were a bit on the Spartan side. Coordinator Jeff Dye’s solution to their being too uncomfortable for his charges to get a good night’s sleep was to run them so ragged, in both cities, they would be ready to slumber on a bed of nails, if need be. Certainly that applied to George Foreman, who seems to have no trouble nodding off as soon as he gets horizontal, as Mohammed Ali found out, lo these many years ago.

Besides being asked to eat yet even more strange food, the fellows were treated to a session with some lovely Geisha girls—no porn intended (or seen). At the other extreme, they received some martial arts instruction, to the point where Henry Winkler proclaimed himself to be the very first Ninjew.

They also got a chance to seek out the Zen that William Shatner was so intent on finding, although at some point, someone pointed out that he, at least, already had what they were looking for. Winkler tried to assure his friend that he too felt pretty “Zenny,” but the quest continued, with some amusing results.

When it came time to switch countries, the gang staged a successful rebellion against their somewhat dubious lodgings and, instead, found themselves in the most expensive suite in a very expensive Hong Kong hotel. The bill to NBC for their short stay in Hong Kong, we are told, came out to $102,000, and I believe that was in Yankee dollars, not the Chinese version. A lot of that tab came from the $18,000 a day stay in the hotel.

Among the group’s adventures in the Chinese city, the best and most humorous came about when they each decided (or Shatner decided for them) to get outfitted with one of those amazing tailored suits the city is so noted for. The head tailor in the shop where they went, was easily as amusing as any of the four stars. Oh yes, the cost of those suits had no small bearing on the size of the tab.

When we next see our tourists, they will be in South Korea, with their hostile neighbor to the north not entirely out of the picture, based on the previews. Stay tuned, as they say.

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Thomas Cleveland Lane

Thomas Cleveland Lane is a semi-retired freelance writer for pay and a stage actor for nothing more than the opportunity to make a fool of himself. Well, he does get a small stipend from the Washington Area Decency League, after playing the role of Hinezie in The Pajama Game, to never, ever appear on stage in his underpants again. When he has not managed to buffalo some director into casting him, Thomas can often be found at his favorite piano bar, annoying the patrons with his caterwauling. Thomas is the author of an anthology called Shaggy Dogs, a Collection of Not-So-Short Stories (destined to become a cult classic, shortly after he croaks). He is also the alter-ego to a very unbalanced Czech poet named Glub Dzmc. Mr. Lane generally resides in Gaithersburg, Maryland, and was last seen in the mirror, three days ago.
Thomas Cleveland Lane
Thomas Cleveland Lane
Thomas Cleveland Lane is a semi-retired freelance writer for pay and a stage actor for nothing more than the opportunity to make a fool of himself. Well, he does get a small stipend from the Washington Area Decency League, after playing the role of Hinezie in The Pajama Game, to never, ever appear on stage in his underpants again. When he has not managed to buffalo some director into casting him, Thomas can often be found at his favorite piano bar, annoying the patrons with his caterwauling. Thomas is the author of an anthology called Shaggy Dogs, a Collection of Not-So-Short Stories (destined to become a cult classic, shortly after he croaks). He is also the alter-ego to a very unbalanced Czech poet named Glub Dzmc. Mr. Lane generally resides in Gaithersburg, Maryland, and was last seen in the mirror, three days ago.