Comedy’s Cupid! A Comedy Valentine’s Day Wish List
With Valentines Day right around the corner, love is in the air– but is it in the green room of comedy venues around the U.S.? Apparently not, since these more than eligible laugh makers are still making reservations for one. Hopefully, with a little help from our very own Cupid, these guys and gals will live laugh-ily ever after (and maybe even record a dual stand-up special!).
Iliza Shlesinger –– Bo Burnham
From the noises Iliza frequently makes in her stand up, to the parody song Bo blurts out through all of his specials, this pairing is a match made in a very alternative universe. I can see them drinking beer while talking about social issues, with random pauses to Instagram each of their dogs. Plus, Iliza is just launching a dating show this year, girl deserves a chance to let someone help HER find love. I’m here for you, Iliza. and so is Bo. And your two dogs.
Michelle Collins – – Dan Soder
If you all don’t religiously DVR The View like myself, let me introduce you to your new favorite comedian. Michelle Collins is hysterical, with pop culture knowledge and a fast wit that she can craft into a great liner in between a Behar-Goldberg power hour or for a great tweet. She’s funny, she’s real, and I think she’s exactly what our Mr. Soder needs. Let’s hope he’s been taking notes from all those Guy Code episodes (on second thought, maybe Girl Code) and gets ready to court the new queen of pre-lunch television. I think Michelle is the perfect lady to help Soder him up and get him ready to hear wedding bells. Or at least maybe matching Facebook profile picture bells.
Aziz Ansari – – Amy Schumer
Before you call me out for being out of the loop, let me stop you right there. I know, Amy is taken. And I know, daaaamn. And I know, he’s like Aidan from Sex and The City — but we all know how that ended. Actually, I might be the only one who recreationally re-watches that entire series, so let me recap you: it ended. So while I’m not hoping for Amy to have to go back to The Bachelorette casting call, I do think that if things for her and her beau ever go SouthxSouthWest, she should call up self-proclaimed love guru Aziz. They’re all over each others Instagrams, and they both love to talk about Plan B in their TV shows. Ironically, since they’re clearly each other’s PLAN A!!!
Joe Mande – – Ilana Glazer
While I’m not sure if their romance will be red-hot, I know for a fact the end of their joints will be. These high-larious comedians will be able to spark up conversation as easily as the spark of their lighters. What’s even better is that they have more than just a cannabis craving to keep them together– their outrageous and alternative comedy go perfectly hand-in-hand with one another. Need more convincing? Just watch this interview with Joe on The Pete Holmes Show and just try not to imagine Abby and Ilana doing the exact same thing.
Chelsea Handler – – Hannibal Buress
With Chelsea being famously single and Hannibal being famously super against rape #TeamKanyeStopTweetingAboutPolitics, these two are made for each other! She used to date 50 Cent, and to me, I feel like Hannibal is the kinda guy who would just round up to the nearest dollar. Both of their dead-pan natures will blend in perfectly… maybe not at dinner parties, but in the corners of dinner parties. Plus, she just talked about being interested in marriage in her latest Netflix docu-series, so maybe Hannibal’s next Comedy Central show could be called “Why (Not?) Marry Chelsea.” You know I’d be watching with a glass of Chardonnay, cheersing my hard work and their hysterical pairing.
Lisa Lampanelli – – Jeff Ross
These two are pretty much made for each other. Even though most of their relationship will be built around fighting and mercilessly making fun of one another, everyone always says making up is the best, if you know what I mean. If you don’t know what I mean, I’m talking sex. And personally, I don’t even want to know how dirty their sex talk is if their performances on Comedy Central Roasts are any indication.
Luis J. Gomez – – Big Jay Oakerson
I think Nicholas Sparks summed up this couple best with his quote, “you are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.” These two started out as friends, and while they have taken the long way to paradise, we now know that they feel what we all have been thinking this entire time. Love is love, and if there’s anyone who doesn’t believe that, just look at this picture of the two of these beautiful and strong men celebrating their own love. Still not a believer? Dibs on the first half slice of cake at their wedding reception on Fire Island, hay girl!
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