Artie Lange Undergoes Emergency Surgery, Says “If I’m Not Clean, I’m Gone”

Taking to Twitter on Friday night, comedian revealed that he had nearly died a week prior. During a series of Twitter posts that were apparently made from a hospital bed, Lange said that he collapsed after leaving the stage of Chicago’s Thalia Hall last Saturday. He was rushed to the hospital were he underwent emergency surgery for an infection in his chest (a result of his years of drug abuse, Lange said), an infection which the doctor told him would have killed most others. The harrowing ordeal seems to have encouraged Lange to clean up his act for good, with the comic saying “I’m done bullshitting” and that he hopes to move on to the “next chapter.”

In one of his tweets, Lange says that he’ll be back on the road “next week,” though it’s unclear if he’ll actually be fit to perform by then. His Twitter account continues to promote his upcoming dates at Turning Stone and Carnegie Library Music Hall next month.

You can check out the entire string of tweets below. Get well soon Artie!

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Bill Tressler

Bill is a writer and comedy enthusiast from New York. An avid gamer and podcast fan, he strives to always toe the line between charming irreverence and grating honesty.


  1. Billy Zoom

    July 9, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    Die screaming, shit bag.

  2. Ronjon

    July 9, 2017 at 11:33 pm

    I mean it this time. No more drugs for me. How do you know when a junkie is lying?

  3. Bengton

    July 10, 2017 at 3:06 am

    Why couldn’t it be Jen with a tube through her throat so we wouldn’t be subjected to her annoying laugh, shallow taste, and celebrity date gossip. Let’s Dish belongs in the trash, where it belongs because it’s garbage.

  4. Bj

    July 10, 2017 at 4:39 am

    Artie Lange is a complete looser. Just die already and spare us and your poor mother with your non stop BS. Your dad must be so proud.

  5. Jim Nooton

    July 10, 2017 at 5:36 am

    Why don’t you put a gimp ball in your mouth and kill your self already and stop comparing yourself to Belushi , your not even a poor man’s Farley and by the way , Crashing sucks!!! Boy does Apatow regret hiring you!

  6. Billy Zoom

    July 10, 2017 at 7:23 pm

    Are you dead yet, short timer?

  7. Chris

    July 25, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    WTF is wrong with the commenters here? Billy Zoom, Jim Nooton, Bj, Bengton, Ronjon… Aren’t you ashamed to be unloading all the aggression and hatred in your heart in a comment section of a random internet site?

    You know, just because he chose to be an entertainer, doesn’t mean Artie is some fictional plush toy that exists solely to be beat up on the internet by legions of angry arrogant men. He’s a human being just like you. Just because you go out of your way to follow his career, that doesn’t mean he owes you anything. Stop trying to come up with the most vile, hateful shit to say about him. If you had any bravery or pride, you’d be using that creativity to create something productiv e