The 5: Five Songs You Don’t Want to Come on iPod Shuffle When Having Sex


Lisa Best just released her debut album, Brain Bank.  After a few years of bolstering her reputation as a sharp joke writer with a unique point of view in LA’s alternative comedy scene, Lisa quickly made a name for herself as a quirky comic skilled at infusing jokes and stories with her very distinct way of thinking.  She’s performed regularly on The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail, and continues to perform all over Los Angeles and across the country. On this week’s edition of The 5, Lisa shared 5 songs you don’t want to come on iPod Shuffle while having sex.

 


Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) – Aaron Carter

The only way you can possibly salvage the situation is by suddenly whipping out a fur coat and inexplicably bending in front of two pale nine-year-old girls while bellowing the phrase “come get it.” Just be careful, doing that one hundred percent increases the chances of someone in that room getting pregnant. Even if you’re both men.

Full House Theme Song

In the moment of panic where your sanity and taste get called to question, your only hope is that your partner will then turn to you with their thumbs up and say, without hesitation, “you got it, dude.” Cause then my friend, unbutton those pants, you found your forever person. However, the moment is still ruined as you inevitably spiral into a horribly depressing conversation about how you’ll never get to touch John Stamos[’s hair].

MMMBop – Hanson

The only silver lining of this song turning on while you’re at your most vulnerable is you most likely can’t make out a single fucking word they’re saying. Oh but that hair. That beautiful, luscious hair.

Time of My Life – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

Because as you’re with your partner, you’ll come to the brutal realization that you’ll never have what Johnny and Baby had. Never.

Your Tenth Grade Science Teacher Mr. Jeter’s Astronomy Podcast You Downloaded For Extra Credit

He always said one day I’d regret not paying attention to his lectures on the gaseous mass surrounding the Earth. I didn’t realize that day would come ten years later when I was in between the sheets with a real live human being I was trying to impress just as the gravely voice I hadn’t heard in a decade opened a track on my iTunes with the sentence, “Like Jupiter, Saturn is a gas giant and is composed of similar gasses, including hydrogen, helium and methane.” Mr. Jeter, you long-con cockblock.


 Brain Bank, was recorded live at Los Angeles’ Nerdmelt Showroom and is available now  on iTunes, Amazon and Google Play. Follow Lisa Best on Twitter @_LisaBest

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Lisa Best

Lisa Best just released her debut album, Brain Bank. After a few years of bolstering her reputation as a sharp joke writer with a unique point of view in LA’s alternative comedy scene, Lisa quickly made a name for herself as a quirky comic skilled at infusing jokes and stories with her very distinct way of thinking. She's performed regularly on The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail, and continues to perform all over Los Angeles and across the country. On this week's edition of The 5, Lisa shared 5 songs you don't want to come on iPod Shuffle while having sex.

4 Comments

  1. MWJ

    January 11, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    I only fuck to MMMBop, preferably with the video looped on multiple screens.

  2. danfromphilly

    January 12, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    I would hate if anything from Bieber would come on

  3. sterlingblue

    January 14, 2017 at 10:09 am

    The “Full House” theme isn’t a deal breaker for me. I find Kimmie Gibbler to be attractive.

  4. max_beta

    January 14, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    well there goes that reputation…