Easy to Understand Petraeus Flowchart


Since the David Petraeus scandal broke, you’ve laughed at the jokes and nodded along while friends gave opinions but it’s time to admit the truth. You have no idea what took place and what the big deal is. Gawker.com has been kind enough to put together a flowchart so you can easily catch up.

Found on gawker.com.

34 comments
IggyBoston
IggyBoston

The director of the CIA cant hide an affair.... There's something wrong with that.  And the general in charge of Afghanistan doesnt know enough about operational security to not use his personal -government- email address to harass someone?!??

SkoobaDoo
SkoobaDoo

What happened in Tampa General?

Ziggy Stardust
Ziggy Stardust

I'm waiting for the new hit  "Rock Me General Petraeus" !!   

TemporalGrid
TemporalGrid

Where does "covered up story until after the election" fit in?

zero episteme
zero episteme

What about Benghazi?!  What else does Klosterman know?!?!

OP4
OP4

It missed the blown CIA op in Benghazi buying Libyan weapons for the Syrian rebels while holding AQ prisoners (which Obama claimed the CIA wouldn't do any more).  Then the Administration didn't protect the op, let the Ambassador get kidnapped, raped, and killed, and relieved 2 General officers of command for trying to help. 

 

Then they blamed some obscure YouTube video. 

 

When the whole thing got exposed, Petraeus went under the bus. 

BadNewsJeff
BadNewsJeff

If anything now I'm more confused.  I admit I have week flow chart skills.  As long as nobody got classified info from these horndogs, then not a big deal.  If someone did- very big deal.  God knows China, Russia, and any other countries that want our classified documents can easily come up with good looking women to send over and sex it out of our generals.  I bet cold war-era Russians are kicking themselves today- "All we had to do was send over a good looking woman to be nice to these dorks!"

the jerm
the jerm

Where's the arrow that links Petraeus and Fez in this big map of LIES!?

madtowntom
madtowntom

oh what a tangled web we weave,when first we practice to deceive..no diff than a white trash fam.in apalachia,..just nicer stuff their wearing

YotaruVegeta
YotaruVegeta

This should've been added to the chart:kotaku.com/5959922/this-is-awkward-david-petraeus-is-in-the-next-call-of-duty-as-our-new-secretary-of-defense

Punk0
Punk0

This is a perfect example of power being an aphrodisiac.  You put Petraeus in a button up shirt with a pocket protector and he wouldn't make it to the nearest Subway without having his lunch money taken.

kingvape
kingvape

great headshot of eric cantor, im gonna cut it out and put it on that ripped FBI bod so showerbench has some rightwing-nut jack material!

Vickroy
Vickroy

Is that a Love Rhombus or a Love Qaudrilateral?

CentaurSlayer
CentaurSlayer

So much for pyramid this is AmWays new pentagon scheme

Memphis Mack
Memphis Mack

Wish I had an FBI friend that could go through other people's emails just because I asked. The Patriot Act rules!

Toin Coss
Toin Coss

Take away the pictures and this looks like the diagram of the  Eli Manning scramble and pass to David Tyree in Superbowl 42 (I don't do Roman Numerals)!?

archg2
archg2

Somebody's got a shit load of arrows pointed at her...

Goonerfan
Goonerfan

Why yes that is easy to understand. Know where does Elmo fit in?

sterlingblue
sterlingblue

How in the hell did these 2 people graduate from West Point yet could not figure out that e-mail leaves a trail?

TemporalGrid
TemporalGrid

@IggyBoston and people want us to believe they could pull off a 9-11 conspiracy

kingvape
kingvape

 @TemporalGrid Somewhere inbetween "Not Related" and "Wouldn't Have Fucking Mattered Anyway"

sidwasout
sidwasout

 @Punk0

 Well, he did go to Ranger School, so anyone looking for an easy mark may be in for a bit of a surprise.

sidwasout
sidwasout

 @Memphis Mack

 I can't help you with other people's e-mail, but maybe I can send you a shirtless pic.

the jerm
the jerm

 @Gunner If i'm looking at this correctly, the Elmo guy is the shirtless "anonymous" one.

Punk0
Punk0

 @sidwasout I'm sure he knows how to handle a firearm, but he looks like he got his ranger training at Jellystone Park.  His ass-kicking days are long behind him, and just because someone makes it through ranger training doesn't mean they are magically a badass.  Maybe he was more formidable when he was younger, but now he looks like he has a hard enough time fighting his uniform in the morning.

Goonerfan
Goonerfan

@the jerm I see, he's got the hand up his ass!

sidwasout
sidwasout

 @Punk0

 I take it you've never met anyone who has gone through Ranger School.  It may not be quite at the level of SEAL training, but everyone comes out of it a certified badass.

 

Yes, he's older, but I'll leave it to you to try to test his abilities in a fight.  Let me know how that works for ya.