Who Knew a Woman’s Body Could Tell the Difference Between Rape Semen and Consensual Semen!?


UPDATE: Update: After getting hammered by everyone for the last two days, Todd Akin has taken it upon himself to put out an ad explaining that “..rape can lead to pregnancy.” Whew! All you rapists out there, strap up.

That’s what Tea Party Cogressman Todd Akin is saying in this clip. He’s a six term congressman and is now running for the state Senate seat in Missouri. So, if you get raped, and according to Todd Akin’s people, your body will know to not get pregnant. Make sure you use protection in your rape roleplaying, your body may get confused.

Found on thenewcivilrightsmovement.com.

66 comments
Aria Taint
Aria Taint

I can tell, if it's not my seaman it's rape.

 

Devoidapop
Devoidapop

I'm glad that we are on the same as far as there being some punishment for rape. What a dick

bmqq316
bmqq316

That's why I quit raping...I really wanted to have a baby.

Aria Taint
Aria Taint

Damn lemon stealing bitches I'll teach them not to steal our lemons.

eye8yrmom
eye8yrmom

Fun fact: for some unexplained reason, rape actually lead to higher incidents of impregnation than consentual unprotected sex. Researchers have posited the adrenaline/egg drop theory, the victim advertises ovulation theory and the rapist 6th sense theory. Fertility specialist need to start handing out ski masks and duct tape before hitting the drugs and in vitro

Burley
Burley

hey  look another out of touch right wing conservative spouting off his religious views over something he has no idea about par for the course in this bat shit crazy election cycle to divide this country because of stupid religious belifes 

Beer
Beer

He ment to say butt raped...he would be correct,unless it's an alien assbaby

kylechristo4
kylechristo4

In all fairness, no one ever accused the 'The Tea Party' of being comprised of deep thinkers. If they simply re-branded themselves with a more accurate moniker like 'The White Trash Idiots' there would be much less outrage over remarks like these.

TyWanon
TyWanon

I have never raped anyone...anymore

FLpro
FLpro

In my town the girls who get raped take the "morning after pill" and all is well...at least that's what the last one told me she needed $60 for???

SarahMcPants
SarahMcPants

He gets his facts from Dr. Spaceman. "You boys need anything while you're here? Some reds? Some yellows? Just got some purples in from Peru."

TwizzlesMcNasty
TwizzlesMcNasty

I'm glad someone is finally standing up for all of us who know that no means yes.

Narc Zito
Narc Zito

I can't wait until this guy wins the election.  That will just entertain me more than Fez's off-the-wall rants.  I'll laugh every time I think about Missouri.

LizSetsFire
LizSetsFire

rape or no rape, my body knows not to get pregnant.

archg2
archg2

This guy is trying to put the birth control companies outta business, com'on ladies will that pesky semen away from that egg, shut the factory down.

Docintoxicated
Docintoxicated

How do you become a legitimate rapist? Do you have to get board certified? Get a degree? What's a good school to get a degree in Rape from? Duke? Yale? Penn State? Is Devry offering online programs in rape management? Can a woman be like "look I can't shut down this uterus until I prove this is a legitimate rape, I need to see your card and get references from 3 of your previous victims".

 

Fun Biology Fact: Ducks do actually have split vaginas and when raped have the ability to shift and redirect the semen to a dead end vaginal tunnel to avoid getting forcibly impregnated.

 

Not saying Akin rapes ducks but yeah that's exactly what I'm saying.

samtwopointo
samtwopointo

You know those stupid ideas you hear from your friends when you're in 2nd grade - "you can't get pregnant if the girl's on top" or "if guys store too much semen, they can die"? Well, that's what adulthood is like for the christian right

Franklin97
Franklin97

Don't worry everyone. When he loses his seat he will start to collect his $250,000 a year pension that he so rightly deserves.

Mindyabeeswax
Mindyabeeswax

I want to rape him until his body shuts down.

K Dubya
K Dubya

Someone needs to tell this dude you should go to Franky McDonald for weather and geological advice, not reporduction

MrLiamGreene
MrLiamGreene

i cant wait to abandon this sinking ship of a country. you can still smoke, fuck, abort, and pay for college in france right?!

opiesthumb
opiesthumb

"...according to Todd Akin's people"??  How about, "according to Todd Akin" since he was the only one we've heard say that?  I get that you're a big leftist Pepper and it's tough because conservatives are all stupid and mean, but try and be an objective adult.

ptrblt100
ptrblt100

A " legitimate rape " as opposed  to an illegitimate rape what a fuckin jerk mind your own fuckin business dickhead. 

 

fezitorium
fezitorium

Is this The Onion? The Jaco Report? Has Kate Upton been on this show? I can't wait to see this on Newsroom next season. 

CinnamonJ
CinnamonJ

"I refuse to pull out!", Akin was later quoted as saying. 

BigMetsFan
BigMetsFan

‎"The views expressed were offensive," said Obama. "Rape is rape. And the idea that we should be parsing and qualifying and slicing what types of rape we are talking about doesn't make sense to the American people and certainly doesn't make sense to me. So what I think these comments do underscore is why we shouldn't have a bunch of politicians, a majority of whom are men, making health care decisions on behalf of women."

Shaggyballz74
Shaggyballz74

Life is precious till your born --then you are on your own-- gotta love republicans

TyWanon
TyWanon

@LizSetsFire did you get a restraining order on my Semen? :)

BigMetsFan
BigMetsFan

 @LizSetsFire Come on, if women knew what to do with their bodies, we wouldn't need politicians.

fezitorium
fezitorium

 @Franklin97 He can make WAY more as a lobbyist. Maybe he can work for Karl Rove? I'd hate to see someone this nuttily entertaining just disappear completely. 

jloneblackheart
jloneblackheart

@opiesthumb it is a quite popular belief among pro-lifers apparently

opiesthumb
opiesthumb

 @Shaggyballz74 Opposed to, we'll kill you up to and including the day your born, after that, we got you covered.

mrclean417
mrclean417

 @jloneblackheart  @opiesthumb Oh jeeze, I HOPE that women get pregnant and want to keep their child BUT in the end I just could give a fuck and don't want to have to pay for it. 

 

I think the number of folks that have already turned their backs on this idiot is proof enough that even his fervent believers don't agree with that shit.  There are some like minded idiots out there buckin him up though. 

 

And they do point out that every time that Biden sticks his foot in it he doesn't drop off the ticket but as a party we kinda want to do it better not worse then the other side.

 

I don't really know.  I didn't get to listen to Rush today to tell me what to think.

mrclean417
mrclean417

 @opiesthumb  @Shaggyballz74 Actually, Obama has a bill in Illinois that will put unwanted newborns in a calm, non life supporting room until the newborn expires.  Last I heard it was a janitorial closet but whats the newborn supposed to know.

 

I obviously have embellished on this but it IS currently illinois law and it IS Obama's doing.